Vanilla #26. Anniversary/Memorial
Title: Six Months
Author: sophie_03
Flavour/Prompts: Vanilla #26 - Anniversary/Memorial.
Extras/Toppings: none.
Rating: G
Summary: when you've lost someone six months seems an awfully long time.
Notes: Hello! Well I’m back. I ran off, after I posted this first piece of writing. It was a difficult time for me anyway, and I was trying to get back into writing, and then starting university and everything... and then nanowrimo time, and anyway, now I’m back. My writing head is back and I’m ready to take this challenge up again. I’m all inspired again, which is only positive. Anyway, this does sort of link with my first one; I think ideas are coming fast. Had a lot of inspiration last night. Yay!
It had been six months now. A painful six months, in which so much of his life had changed. Six months to the day. The Autumn had come and gone, the Winter months had made their mark, and now, ever so slowly, the plants were creeping back again, the trees were waking up and the sun was beginning to shine again, lighting up towns and cities.
There was that feeling of anticipation as the weather warmed up, the feeling that the Spring was coming. And Spring was always followed by Summer.
But the summer would only mark a year. And a year seemed an incredibly long time.
Six months alone seemed a long time. Those past months seemed so long ago, and he could barely remember now how he had got through them. At the time he had said that he was coping, that he was fine. But now he wasn’t so sure. He hadn’t been coping, he had just been pretending. And he was sick of pretending. His whole life he had spent pretending. He made a living out of pretending, and he was no longer enjoying it. He wanted someone to notice, for once, who he was and how he was feeling. He wanted for once not to be the calm and collected one. He wanted to be the disaster, the one who had the melt down and couldn’t cope anymore. Because inside, every day that’s who he was, every moment that he had by himself he was the one who couldn’t cope and who felt like throwing it all away because those feelings hurt too much, and it hurt too much to think or to do anything worthwhile. He didn’t want to feel that way anymore.
And then he was the one who as soon as he stepped out into the real world would begin pretending. He would put a smile on his face and say that he was alright; he would pretend that life was great. The problem was he was good at doing that, because he had spent his whole life doing it. It was hard to break a habit of a life time. He knew that only too well.
And that was why he found himself in this small flat in the middle of a city he didn’t even know that well, living a life that he had always wanted to live but he couldn’t live it the way he wanted to because he had this shadow hanging over him, that haunted him.
Six months; that was significant. Six long months. He had learnt a lot about himself and about the world in that time.
Life certainly wasn’t the fairytale that it pretended to be. That had been an important and scary lesson to learn. He was still learning. He would be for a long time, but already he was getting there. Or he thought he was. It would take many more months - years to get there. If there was anywhere to get to.
As he sat in the cold, waiting for the Spring again, he thought back to that last Summer, the Summer where everything had changed, and he tried to imagine his life before, but he couldn’t. He had lived in a blur of chaos and change. And now he lived under this cloud, trying to take everything in his stride like he had pretended he was able to.
Six months and he was still waiting, waiting for something to change.
Six months and she still wasn’t coming back.
Author: sophie_03
Flavour/Prompts: Vanilla #26 - Anniversary/Memorial.
Extras/Toppings: none.
Rating: G
Summary: when you've lost someone six months seems an awfully long time.
Notes: Hello! Well I’m back. I ran off, after I posted this first piece of writing. It was a difficult time for me anyway, and I was trying to get back into writing, and then starting university and everything... and then nanowrimo time, and anyway, now I’m back. My writing head is back and I’m ready to take this challenge up again. I’m all inspired again, which is only positive. Anyway, this does sort of link with my first one; I think ideas are coming fast. Had a lot of inspiration last night. Yay!
It had been six months now. A painful six months, in which so much of his life had changed. Six months to the day. The Autumn had come and gone, the Winter months had made their mark, and now, ever so slowly, the plants were creeping back again, the trees were waking up and the sun was beginning to shine again, lighting up towns and cities.
There was that feeling of anticipation as the weather warmed up, the feeling that the Spring was coming. And Spring was always followed by Summer.
But the summer would only mark a year. And a year seemed an incredibly long time.
Six months alone seemed a long time. Those past months seemed so long ago, and he could barely remember now how he had got through them. At the time he had said that he was coping, that he was fine. But now he wasn’t so sure. He hadn’t been coping, he had just been pretending. And he was sick of pretending. His whole life he had spent pretending. He made a living out of pretending, and he was no longer enjoying it. He wanted someone to notice, for once, who he was and how he was feeling. He wanted for once not to be the calm and collected one. He wanted to be the disaster, the one who had the melt down and couldn’t cope anymore. Because inside, every day that’s who he was, every moment that he had by himself he was the one who couldn’t cope and who felt like throwing it all away because those feelings hurt too much, and it hurt too much to think or to do anything worthwhile. He didn’t want to feel that way anymore.
And then he was the one who as soon as he stepped out into the real world would begin pretending. He would put a smile on his face and say that he was alright; he would pretend that life was great. The problem was he was good at doing that, because he had spent his whole life doing it. It was hard to break a habit of a life time. He knew that only too well.
And that was why he found himself in this small flat in the middle of a city he didn’t even know that well, living a life that he had always wanted to live but he couldn’t live it the way he wanted to because he had this shadow hanging over him, that haunted him.
Six months; that was significant. Six long months. He had learnt a lot about himself and about the world in that time.
Life certainly wasn’t the fairytale that it pretended to be. That had been an important and scary lesson to learn. He was still learning. He would be for a long time, but already he was getting there. Or he thought he was. It would take many more months - years to get there. If there was anywhere to get to.
As he sat in the cold, waiting for the Spring again, he thought back to that last Summer, the Summer where everything had changed, and he tried to imagine his life before, but he couldn’t. He had lived in a blur of chaos and change. And now he lived under this cloud, trying to take everything in his stride like he had pretended he was able to.
Six months and he was still waiting, waiting for something to change.
Six months and she still wasn’t coming back.