Vanilla 11, chocolate 3, strawberry 7: how bright you glow

Jan 22, 2010 02:34

Title: how bright you glow
Main Story: In the Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: Vanilla 11 (walk in the woods), chocolate 3 (sympathy), strawberry 7 (fireflies), rainbow sprinkles, cherry on top, malt (slysionnachnano's picture promptWord Count: 704 ( Read more... )

[topping] sprinkles, [extra] malt, [challenge] chocolate, [challenge] strawberry, [inactive-author] bookblather, [topping] cherry, [challenge] vanilla

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Comments 28

darkfaerieclaw January 22 2010, 17:39:20 UTC
This is amazing, and you can feel the pain running through this. I haven't read Angela Carter, so I don't know if you succeeded in imitating her style, but I'm interested in checking her out now. There's a definite poetry to a lot of the words.

I like all of this. It's like you wrote a very long pocky; there's not one word that looks wasted or meant to be filler, and it feels short without being unsatisfactory. I want to read more, but it's not because I don't think everything hasn't been settled right.

This is great. <3

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bookblather January 22 2010, 23:34:24 UTC
Heh, no worries about the imitation thing. I gave it to a friend to read and her first reaction was "STOP READING ANGELA CARTER" so I think I did good on that part. :D

I'm so glad you liked it! I was a bit worried because it's such a deliberate departure from everything I've done before, so I worked my ass off on it (hence the long delay) and I'm glad that it worked for you. As for more... well, Hugh and Joanna are both very minor characters, but they're central to the resolution of a major character's story, so don't worry. There will be much, much more. Ahem.

So glad you liked it! <3

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bookblather January 22 2010, 23:35:25 UTC
I know the feeling; you want to say something and know there's something to say but you just can't think of it. I'm so glad that you liked it! It's my baby right now, so. Thanks for reading, and for coming back and commenting!

Out of curiousity, what was the way you thought it would end?

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bookblather January 24 2010, 09:12:12 UTC
I do too. :) Thank you so much!

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hi_falootin January 22 2010, 19:49:09 UTC
oh, this is very nice! Hugh's aching almost seemed tangible though we/Joanna didn't know what was really going on until the end. I enjoyed your little descriptive details like solemn-mouthed detective and shredded it methodically between his long doctor's fingers.

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bookblather January 22 2010, 23:36:37 UTC
Thanks so much! I was working very hard on those little details, since I'm bad at them and Angela Carter is very good at them (see, imitation), so it's wonderful to get complimented on them. I'm so glad that you liked it.

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hi_falootin January 23 2010, 09:01:25 UTC
Very welcome! I'm into imitating the authors I like too-it can feel a little cheaty, but I think it's quite helpful for developing your own style further :)

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bookblather January 24 2010, 09:12:39 UTC
Oh, it totally is! I feel like that's how you get better: find someone who's very good at what you're bad at and imitate them. In everything, not just writing.

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bookblather January 23 2010, 07:49:31 UTC
I figured it had to end in silence, because what do you say to that? Thank you so much for your compliments!

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sarcasticsra January 23 2010, 07:10:15 UTC
This is just...god, this is beautiful. I love the poetry of it, and the quiet ache thrumming throughout.

He came for dinner and she took him for a walk in the woods behind her house, after. It was getting dark; the fireflies were dancing, tracing glowing lines against the treetrunks and weaving not-quite-words against a purpling sky. Joanna took him back to her favorite spot, the quiet little stream that fell translucent over rocks the grey of dirty ice and dead leaves that rustled in the twilight wind. It seemed a place for telling secrets, a place for understanding and for broken hearts to take ease in knowing they were not alone.

That entire paragraph was my favorite part. Gorgeous and evocative. Just. Exquisite. Lovely work.

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bookblather January 23 2010, 07:50:54 UTC
That is either my very favorite or my second favorite passage, and it's certainly the one I worked hardest on. I'm glad that it worked so well for you. Thank you so much for your compliments! I'm seriously blushing here.

(also, do I want to know what Stephen Colbert is going to do with that iron in your icon?)

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sarcasticsra January 23 2010, 08:29:44 UTC
(He's just checkin' himself out in the iron. All red-blooded American males do so, thank you very much! =P)

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bookblather January 24 2010, 09:13:01 UTC
(Oh, Stephen Colbert. I would check me out in irons too, if I was you.)

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