Comments | runaway_tales: Vanilla 12, chocolate 22, strawberry 2: So Far, So Good

bookblather in runaway_tales

Vanilla 12, chocolate 22, strawberry 2: So Far, So Good

Jan 03, 2010 01:32

Title: So Far, So Good
Main Story: In the HeartFlavors, Toppings, Extras: Vanilla 12 (a storm), chocolate 22 (anticipation), strawberry 2 (curtains), rainbow sprinkles (Gail and Cecily), whipped cream (Ivy in utereo), malt (stocking stuffer: tell me so/tell me don't/tell me everything you know--airmail, tell me so ( Read more... )

[extra] malt, [topping] whipped cream, [challenge] chocolate, [challenge] strawberry, [inactive-author] bookblather, [challenge] vanilla

Comments 21

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bookblather January 3 2010, 19:34:34 UTC

Vienna Teng = AWESOME. *may or may not be trying to convert others in rats, secret-like*

You're right about the sentences looking fragmented, at least on this screen. They looked a whole lot less fragmented in the Word document. *kicks it grumpily* Ah well. I'll experiment and see what happens. Thank you very much for reading, and your concrit is deeply appreciated!

sarcasticsra January 3 2010, 08:37:07 UTC

Oh, this is lovely. It's so easy to emphasize with Gail. I want to jump into the story and give her a hug and say, "You can do it." I love the relationship she and her sister share, too. Wonderful.

bookblather January 3 2010, 19:37:27 UTC

Thank you very much! Yeah, Gail and Cecily tend to use each other as a sounding board to figure out what they've already decided. And she totally can do it, but she'll have Nathan to help her in a few years anyway. Thank you very much!

(The comment has been removed)

bookblather January 3 2010, 19:37:44 UTC

Thank you very much!

shayna611 January 3 2010, 19:25:14 UTC

regarding the sprinkles question - it is sprinkles if no MC's appear at all, or if they maybe walk in at the last line, or are seen from the distance or really have no affect on the situation at all - the idea is to be going off on a tangent with minor characters and not using them at all (not sure if this is the case or not of the piece in question) but if the MC is still present and just not the center of attention it does not count as sprinkles. hope that helps

bookblather January 3 2010, 19:35:15 UTC

Oh, I see! Yeah, the first story doesn't count, then. Thank you very much!

darkfaerieclaw January 4 2010, 01:02:32 UTC

I like how absolutely real Gail and Cecily feel, and the dialog and situation - Gail calling to decide on what she's already decided - is perfect. I like how the storm wasn't the typical "everything's going to suck for you from now until the end of the book" storm, but a "ninja storm sneaks up on you LIKE YOUR SURPRISE PREGNANCY" storm. Fantastic.

Also? "Spoken like a woman who had never tried to make a classroom full of kindergartners do as she told them" and "If you need an alibi, I am open to bribes" are super lines.

God bless the internet, is all I'm saying, because I've read some truly inspired stories online in the past eight days, and this is somewhere at the top six of them.

Also, consider the Vienna Teng love thirded, seriously. <3

bookblather January 6 2010, 05:19:51 UTC

Well, Ivy is a ninja, and ninjas are born, not made, ergo Ivy was a ninja when she was conceived, so it only makes sense that it's a surprise pregnancy. That was a very roundabout way of saying "YAY someone picked up on the ninja storm bit," wasn't it?

Thank you so much for all your compliments! It makes me so happy to know somebody liked my story, esp. someone with such obvious good taste. In unrelated comments, Vienna Teng is wicked good. :D