Comments | runaway_tales: mocha #10 + malt, sprinkles, caramel -'bunny ranch'

hi_falootin in runaway_tales

mocha #10 + malt, sprinkles, caramel -'bunny ranch'

Oct 30, 2008 11:58

hey! I'm not sure how active I'm going to be here during nanowrimo (I might be stealing a prompt list to help get me through, we'll see) but I'd love to be wrimo-buddies with any of you guys who are doing it. my name on there is darcylane :) ANYWAY, STORY:

Author: hi_falootin
Prompt: mocha 10. mind your own business (taken literally, lol)
Toppings: Caramel, ( Read more... )

[topping] sprinkles, [extra] malt, [topping] caramel, [author] falootin, [challenge] mocha

Comments 9

sylvrilyn October 30 2008, 19:37:06 UTC

Oh, yes. Must. have. more.

I've never seen a second person piece that wasn't directly talking to the person (in a letter or like a letter) that flows so smoothly and naturally. Great job!

hi_falootin October 31 2008, 18:41:46 UTC

thanks so much! :D I really like writing in 2nd person, so I'm glad it seemed smooth

sylvrilyn October 31 2008, 22:43:51 UTC

Very smooth! And so effortless...as if you're saying to the reader, "Here, put yourself in Malila's shoes," which I guess, in essence, is exactly what you're doing.

maiden_rising October 31 2008, 03:47:46 UTC

You ARE effing evil, my friend! Wow, this is fantastically done. I feel really uncreative because I basically say this about everything you write, but that's because everything you write blows me away...you have incredible range (which makes me jealous, by the way). I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED the ending of this piece! It was so smoothly, artfully, amusingly executed. It's obvious from my writing that I adore pieces where characters run into each other a decade or so after the fact, but it's even more awesome when they're not MY characters (who's tired of twentysomething Sara and thirtysomething Dylan?). I love imagining what happened in the intervening years...I really hope you'll fill us in! :D Well done, kiddo.

hi_falootin October 31 2008, 18:42:18 UTC

TY! :D I thought you might like the later-down-the-road ~encounter~

Of course I need more ideas before I go anywhere with this...

shayna611 November 2 2008, 17:57:49 UTC

I have never seen anyone pull off 2nd person like you do. It is just awesome! :)

Now I really want to know more about Malila and how she went from the girl we saw before to this.

slysionnachnano November 2 2008, 20:23:52 UTC

I have to echo the Second Person sentiments. Really amazing. Really.

Yay for my Dare!! Fantastic!

nathskywalker January 22 2009, 09:43:37 UTC

how did Malila end up like this? That's what really interests me. And I love how you can pull 2nd person off.