Cinnamon Swirl # 7; Key Lime # 15
Author: Jenn
Challenge: Cinnamon Swirl # 7 (At Arm's Length); Key Lime # 15 (Soulmate)
Extras: Brownie
Rating: NC-17 (rather graphic... okay, very graphic)
Word Count: 7231
Story: Neauforst
Summary: It takes a special kind of someone to make Oliver discard his inhibitions and that person is Dante. It's just a shame those inhibitions are persistantant little buggers.
Notes: Continues directly after All or Nothing
This was much, much longer than I'd been expecting, but I'm very happy with it overall. I never really understood what the dynamics of Oliver and Dante's relationship would be and while they were simply living in my head they didn't seem to share any chemistry. Now though, I know exactly how they are going to work out. <3
For the first time in the few days they'd already spent in the horrid, rusty little trailer, Oliver was warm. Dante was pressed up close against his back, his arms wrapped loosely around his waist and his breath was puffing lightly against the back of his neck, just below his right ear. One of Dante's legs was wedged between Oliver's own, his thigh pressed gently against Oliver's over-sensitised sex.
As Dante shifted in his sleep, nudging the back of Oliver's neck with his nose and sighing contentedly, Oliver forced down a shiver of anxiety. He didn't want to think about what he'd just done. More specifically, he didn't want to think about the consequences. Regardless of his desires, however, his mind was cheerfully replaying the last hour to him over and over and over again. And he couldn't pretend that the memories weren't affecting him in ways he'd rather they didn't.
Closing his eyes and intertwining his fingers with Dante's, Oliver reluctantly allowed the memory to start over once more.
- - -
A broken whimper escaped before Oliver could suppress it, much to his horror, and he made a feeble attempt to pull away from the kiss. Unsurprisingly, Dante made no move to stop him, and to Oliver's rapidly growing distress, he found himself extremely disappointed by that. God, he thought, if Dante made any effort to force me into it I wouldn't resist him at all, would I? The revelation was really rather terrifying to Oliver and made him all the more thankful that Dante was such a push over. If he wasn't, Oliver didn't doubt that his defences would have been shattered to pieces months ago.
"I'm sorry," Dante said, lowering his gaze dejectedly. He was a large boy, taller than Oliver and a good deal more muscular, but seeing him like this, with an expression akin to a kicked puppy made Oliver's heart tauten.
"Don't say that," he muttered grumpily. "It isn't your fault."
"I shouldn't be pushing you though," Dante protested, glancing up at Oliver without actually lifting his head. "You don't want this and I'm-"
Oliver cuffed Dante lightly across the top of his head, barely ruffling his cropped black hair. "I said stop it," he said again, glowering at Dante. "It isn't your fault."
Dante's jaw tightened, a sign Oliver recognized as meaning he was upset. Feeling his shoulders sag and a great deal of tension leave him, Oliver slipped his arms loosely around Dante's shoulders, pulling the larger boy into a hug. Physical contact with Oliver that didn't hurt was a rare thing, and a hug was practically unheard of, especially one initiated by Oliver himself. Of course, Dante knew that and immediately clung to Oliver as though his life depended on it.
"Oliver..." he murmured, his voice dangerously uneven and somewhat muffled against Oliver's shoulder, "Please... just once- please. It doesn't have to mean anything, I just... I need this."
That damnable sincerity had leaked into Dante's voice and Oliver's stomach flipped nervously as he felt his defences slip even more. As much as it displeased him to admit it, he needed it too - the rather conspicuous bulge in his pants said that for him. And yet his mind still reminded him that to let Dante have his way would only end up hurting them both in the long run.
Inevitably though, he caved. "Just this once?" he asked in a voice that was uncharacteristically weak for him. Dante nodded quickly, pressing his forehead against Oliver's affectionately.
"Just this once," Dante agreed, "I promise. Just this one time and then I'll never mention it again, I swear."
Say no! Oliver's mind screamed at him, just say no! You know what'll happen otherwise. Just tell him no!
"...All right."
Dante released a heavy, relieved breath and tucked his head against Oliver's neck. Oliver could feel him smiling and it just made him feel all the worse, despite the treacherous little part of him that was very much looking forward to the events to come. A nervous shudder jangled down his spine and he closed his eyes, wondering if there was still time to back out-
The first kiss came out of nowhere, and though Oliver supposed he'd been expecting it, it still surprised him. Dante was just as hesitant as before but less tense now. Urging his own body to relax, Oliver leaned into the kiss, deciding that since this was for Dante, the best thing to do would be to simply go along with it and hope for the best.
However, it only took a single hot swipe of Dante's tongue across Oliver's lower lip to scramble his thoughts and make him moan. At first he was unsure which of them had made the noise - surely it hadn't been him - but when he felt Dante's faint, tell-tale smirk against his mouth he flushed bright red and pulled away from the kiss.
Ignoring Dante's quizzical and worried expression, Oliver glanced around at their junk lying all over the caravan floor. "How are we going to do this, then?" he asked, ignoring the unsettled quiver in his voice. "I don't have any condoms. Do you?" He glanced up in time to see Dante shake his head. He frowned. "Well, now what? I mean, I'm clean but do you really think we should risk it?"
Hey, his mind piped up suddenly, this is the perfect opportunity to get out of it! Go on, just say you won't do it without a condom!
Dante's gaze darted away and he refused to meet Oliver's eyes for a long moment. "W-well," he started, "I'm clean too, so..."
"How do you know you're clean?" Oliver replied, immediately jumping on this possible way out. "When was the last time you got checked?"
For the first time a flicker of frustration showed on Dante's face, but it vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. He muttered something under his breath, too quiet for Oliver to hear.
"Didn't catch that."
Dante's jaw squared and he looked away again, still refusing to meet Oliver's eyes. "I said I'm..." he huffed out a deep breath and scowled unhappily at the quilt, "I haven't - I'm... well, you know..."
Oliver raised an eyebrow in a mixture of curiosity and confusion. "No, sorry. I kinda don't."
"I'm a virgin," Dante snapped before immediately falling quiet and looking meek once more. His skin was too dark to tell for sure, but Oliver was certain he saw a hint of red in his cheeks. For the first time that night he felt a little of his good cheer returning.
"What, you've never..?" he asked, a sly little grin creeping across his features. Well, they were best friends. It was his job to tease Dante for this, regardless of the situation.
"No."
"Never, ever?"
"No."
Oliver grinned brightly at Dante's frustration for a moment before something very unpleasant occurred to him and it faded away to nothing. "Oh but... Dante. I thought this was fucked up enough before but- Dante, you are not wasting your first time on me."
Dante raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Are you joking?" he asked, frowning faintly. "Oliver, how would I be wasting my first time on you? I want my first time to be with you."
"But nothing is going to happen!" Oliver snapped, his fists clenching at his sides. "Dante, please. If we have sex now it's not going to mean anything. I'm not going to have a relationship with you. Don't you think you'd be better off waiting until you have a proper boyfriend or girlfriend to lose your virginity to?"
Dante sighed softly and grasped Oliver's arms in a firm and reassuring grip. "Oliver, listen to me," he whispered, his rich voice low enough to instantly make Oliver stop his griping and pay attention. "I don't care if you're just going to pretend like this never happened tomorrow. I want my first time to be with you. I'd rather it be you than some guy or girl I'll end up ditching two or three months down the line."
Oliver fidgeted uncertainly under Dante's steady gaze before it finally became too much and he had to look away. Damn Dante for being able to affect him this way. No one else could. The NRMC had done a very good job in pairing the two of them together. Perhaps too good a job.
Dante's grip loosened slightly and he rubbed his hands up and down Oliver's biceps soothingly. "Come on, Oliver. Just... just relax for a bit, okay? I'm not gonna fall apart at the seams if we have sex and then don't get married and have two point three kids and a picket fence. I just want this one thing and you can't pretend you don't want it to."
Sighing, Oliver ran his hands over his face in frustration before letting them fall heavily to his sides. It was true, he did want to and he supposed what Dante had said about wanting to lose his virginity to him made sense. It was what he'd felt when he'd slept with Seth for the first time, after all. He closed his eyes and was silent for a long while, choosing to simply listen to Dante's soft breathing and try to relax. After a few moments the nervous shivering subsided and he opened his eyes once again to meet Dante's gaze.
"You're absolutely sure about this?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly.
"A hundred percent," Dante replied, his expression not wavering even a bit.
Oliver's head felt fuzzy with a confusion of thoughts and feelings and desires all pulling him in different directions at once but he had enough presence of mind to tentatively lean into Dante and brush his mouth against his partner's with infinite tenderness. Dante had long since picked up on just how bewildered Oliver was and so when he kissed back, it was equally gentle. Barely even a kiss really and more a simple act of ghosting their mouths over one another's skin.
Lifting his arms to cradle Oliver against his chest, Dante turned them to the side so he could lay Oliver down on the bed. The feeling of being held so protectively was entirely alien to Oliver and it almost shocked him out of the odd little trance he'd sank into, but then he was on his back with Dante lying over him and at some point they started kissing again and his mind went pleasantly blank once more.
Fingers played across his chest, stroking him through the thin material of his t-shirt. He didn't protest and lay there completely still, allowing Dante to explore to his heart's content. A low, contented purr forced its way from his throat when Dante broke the kiss to begin mouthing at his neck and he shivered as Dante rubbed his hands across his stomach and sides, brushing over the particularly sensitive area on his lower abdomen. The hands moved outwards and down, rubbing the sides of Oliver's thighs and kneading the firm, supple muscles through the fabric of his jeans.
"Can I take these off?" Dante whispered in Oliver's ear, his hands moving upwards again to dance across Oliver's belt.
Say no! the rational part of Oliver's mind that had been blessedly silent for a while suddenly cried. You can still say no!
"Yes..." he murmured.
Dante fumbled for the belt buckle the moment the word left his lips and Oliver shuddered at the familiar feeling of someone else's hands undressing him. He struggled with it for a moment, but a mixture of determination and brute force had it undone and tossed across the trailer in no time at all. He wasted no time in getting at Oliver's jeans either. He had considerably more luck with those and Oliver lifted his hips to allow Dante to drag them down and away. They joined his belt on the other side of the trailer.
Cold air hit his legs, and the thin material of his underwear did nothing to protect more sensitive regions from the chill either. Slumping back against the pillow, Oliver gestured for Dante to lie over him again. Dante complied and if the way he immediately curled his body around Oliver's was anything to go by, he was decidedly pleased at the little act of encouragement from his partner.
This time when Oliver kissed Dante, it wasn't tentative but still couldn't be described as passionate either. Never-the-less, the little increase in enthusiasm seemed to spur Dante on and he nudged Oliver's cheek expectantly as they kissed. For a long moment Oliver didn't respond, but just when Dante was beginning to give up any hope Oliver returned the gesture, nudging Dante back and breaking the kiss to rub his forehead against his friend's.
For a moment they seemed to forsake kissing in exchange for nuzzling one another affectionately. Oliver reached up to grab the back of Dante's head and pulled him down, rubbing his cheek against Dante's keenly. This wasn't nearly as sexual as kissing in Oliver's mind and so he threw everything he had into the tender little actions. I want to love you Dante, he thought, his stomach twisting in fear at what he'd just admitted to himself, but I'll just fuck it up like usual.
And then Dante's mouth was on his again. Oliver, still completely lost in his overwhelming desire to be close to Dante, didn't think twice about poking his tongue into Dante's mouth and exploring what he secretly thought should always have been his. Dante moaned and clutched at Oliver's waist, shoving his t-shirt up and finally daring to touch Oliver's bare flesh. The sudden contact between them that wasn't obscured by clothing made Oliver jump and gasp in shock, but both reactions were lost in the suddenly frenzied kiss.
Dante's hands were everywhere and Oliver's mind was nowhere and he wasn't even sure whose mouth his tongue was in now and more importantly where had his underwear gone?
"Stop- Dante, stop..." Oliver mumbled against Dante's mouth, placing his hands very firmly on Dante's chest and pushing him back a little. "Let's slow down a bit."
Despite looking momentarily resentful at having his fun spoiled, Dante nodded shakily and shifted back a little, giving Oliver some room. His mouth was swollen and shiny from kissing and the hem of his shirt was torn. Did I do that? Oliver wondered, eyeing the rip for a moment before shrugging it off.
Trying valiantly to ignore the fact that his underwear was somehow missing, Oliver glanced around the trailer. "We, uh, we need something. Something slippery."
"Like lube?" Dante asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Oliver nodded. "Well, the only thing I've got is the polish I use on my guns and, well, I wouldn't put that on... well, that."
An ambitious little smile tried to fight its way into Oliver's expression but he squashed it flat the moment it showed. "Yeah, me neither." He thought for a moment and then gestured at the tiny little kitchen area on the other side of the trailer. "I think I saw some vegetable oil in one of the cupboards. Go get it."
Obedient as ever, Dante scrambled off the bed and hurried over to the cupboards. After a very short amount of time searching, he returned with a small bottle of the yellowy transparent liquid. He gave it a suspicious glance before handing it over to Oliver.
"What do we do with it?" he asked, suddenly sounding uncertain.
Oliver shrugged and peered at Dante out of the corner of his eye. "Well, that depends on you really. Do you want to top or bottom?"
"Huh?"
"Do you know what I mean by top or bottom?"
Dante nodded, and Oliver thought he might be blushing again. "Yeah, I know, it's just I thought- well, I thought you'd wanna top, because I'm... well, you know..."
Raising an eyebrow curiously, Oliver set aside the bottle of oil and turned towards Dante properly. "A virgin? That doesn't mean you have to bottom."
"But I don't know how to- to, um..." He gestured blindly at Oliver's crotch and looked away, embarrassed again.
Oliver couldn't help it. He smiled. This was one of the things he loved - Liked! - about Dante. Despite his at times intimidating appearance, he was really just about one of the most innocent people Oliver had ever met. Rising up onto his knees, Oliver shifted closer to his partner, reached up to cup his face with his hands and leaned in to kiss him. It was a tender, lingering little kiss and far too intimate considering their arrangement but for the moment Oliver didn't care. He stole another before settling down again.
"Straight guys have sex with girls for the first time without knowing what to do," he said, shrugging lightly. "It's not that different with guys."
Dante raised an eyebrow. "Have you had sex with a girl?"
A sudden scowl appeared on Oliver's face and he shook his head vehemently. "God, no. They're too... squishy." He pulled another face at the thought before dismissing it. "But my point still stands. Anyway, I..." he paused and swallowed nervously, "Well, I think you should top."
"...Why?"
A furious, dark blush appeared in Oliver's cheeks. "Because, well, I still feel weird about, you know, 'taking your virginity' so I figured..." the blush darkened even further and he swallowed again, "Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you were... um, taking mine at the same time."
"But- what?" Dante shook his head bewilderedly. "You're not a virgin. You slept with Seth. You told me so."
"Yeah, I did," Oliver muttered, now looking thoroughly humiliated. "But I never... he never wanted to top, so..." He shrugged uncomfortably. "You know."
They fell into an awkward silence, Dante looked anywhere but at Oliver, and Oliver blushing hotly enough to boil water. Eventually Dante reached and picked up the bottle of oil.
"This stuff tastes horrible, ya know."
Oliver arched an eyebrow, thankful for the change of subject. "Don't eat it then."
Snorting quietly Dante shook his head, a smile returning to his features. "So... I'm topping then."
"If you want to."
Dante hesitated for a moment, eyeing the bottle and Oliver uncertainly. "Will you show me what to do?" he asked in a little voice.
Oliver nodded and lay back, resting his head on the pillows and trying to force himself to relax again. He'd been doing fine until he'd suggested that he bottom, but now, of course, he was terrified again. He tugged at the hem of his shirt and gnawed at his lower lip before finally, finally gathering up the courage to part his legs for Dante. The simple little action sent him reeling with embarrassment and, to his surprise, arousal. Dante seemed to be similarly affected, if the way he swayed slightly to the side like he was dizzy was anything to go by.
"It's tiny..." he murmured, swallowing audibly.
Oliver immediately snapped his legs back together. "I sincerely hope you're not talking about my dick."
Startled, Dante shook his head. "What? No! I meant, your... your... um... Will I even fit?"
"Well, we'll just have to find out, won't we?" Oliver muttered sullenly, reluctantly parting his legs again and gesturing for Dante to move closer. "And just for the record, I've seen you naked and just because yours is bigger than mine doesn't mean-" All the previous redness in Oliver's cheeks rapidly faded away and he snapped his mouth closed abruptly. "Oh, fuck this is going to hurt."
"I'll be careful..." Dante promised, spinning the bottle in his hands and fidgeting. He'd settled down between Oliver's legs but seemed at a loss as to what he was supposed to do now that he was there.
"Give me your hand," Oliver said, forcing his nerves down for the moment. Dante obediently reached out and placed his free hand in Oliver's, "And the oil."
At least I know how to do this, Oliver thought as he removed the lid from the bottle and applied the slippery liquid to Dante's long fingers. Their palms slid in one another's grip as Oliver guided Dante's hand down between his legs.
"Okay... well, now you just, um, put one in?"
Dante nodded shakily and hesitated before pressing the pad of one finger against Oliver's entrance. The little contact seemed to shock them both and Oliver started while Dante simply seemed stunned by what he was about to do.
Not knowing what to expect was probably the worst thing for Oliver. He'd never done anything like this with Seth before - or rather, he'd never been on the receiving end of anything like this with Seth before. He shuddered and bit his lip hard as Dante very gently began to press into him.
"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Dante asked, glancing up from what he was doing worriedly. Oliver shook his head.
"No, it- it doesn't hurt, it just feels... weird."
"Good weird?"
Oliver felt Dante's knuckles bump against him and he realised with a little thrill that it was all the way inside him. That hadn't been as bad as he thought it would be.
"It just feels weird." He thought back to the times with Seth. "P-press up."
As always, Dante obeyed him without question and almost the moment the command left his lips a white hot flash of something shot through his lower body and made him arch so suddenly that Dante pulled away from him, babbling apologies.
"Oliver? Shit, did I hurt you? I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, I-"
Pinning his partner with the most venomous glare he could manage when he was flushed and trembling, Oliver growled, "Put that back in right now, or I swear to God I will pull your testicles off."
Well, it certainly served to stop Dante's apologies. He fell completely silent, staring at Oliver in surprise and bewilderment before quietly doing as he was told. Oliver lay back against the pillows again, biting his lip at the strangely pleasant feeling of Dante's finger sliding into him. "Press up again."
This time Dante did pause, most likely still startled by Oliver's reaction the last time, but never-the-less he did as he was asked, only considerably gentler this time. He rubbed tentative little circles inside Oliver until he found that particular spot once more.
Oliver moaned loudly before he could stop himself and immediately brought his wrist up to his mouth, biting down on his sleeve hard to try and prevent any further sounds from escaping. Dante stared at him, fascinated.
"I never thought I'd see you like this..." he murmured as he worked the pad of his finger against the spongy little lump inside Oliver.
"Like - mph! - like w-what..?" Oliver replied, gazing back at Dante through half closed eyes.
Dante smiled a little, a genuinely happy expression. "With your defences down like this."
"I always - ah! - h-have my defences down w-with you... Ngh..."
"No you don't Oliver." Dante tilted his head to the side and experimentally pressed a second finger into Oliver. It slid in after a little difficulty and joined the first, rubbing against Oliver's prostate. "You don't even realise it, do you? You don't notice how much you keep from me - from all of us."
"I don't," Oliver growled, his voice wobbling dangerously.
Dante sniffed, his smile turning more serene. Oliver only had time to register that as meaning he was up to something before the gentle rubbing suddenly became far more intense. Dante worked his fingers over and around the little lump inside Oliver relentlessly. Oliver cried out in shock and pleasure, squirming and writhing stiffly as he tried to hide his overpowering reaction to the sensation. His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes tightly, forcing the moans and cries down, struggling not to give in.
"You see? You're doing it now," Dante said calmly. A thin sheen of sweat was visible across his skin, reflecting the lamplight, and his expression was so utterly aroused that when Oliver opened his eyes to look at him, he immediately had to close them again to avoid seeing it. "Why can't you just give in Oliver? It's only us here. Please... just for once, can't you give in?"
Shuddering, Oliver covered his mouth with one hand and gripped his own hair with the other. Would it be such a bad thing to give Dante what he was asking for? Just for once?
"Da-Dante..." he whimpered behind his hand, opening his eyes to meet Dante's gaze. God, he'd been right. Now that he was more relaxed, Dante was so perfectly fucking calm even though it was his first time. "Dante, I'm going to come..."
The rubbing inside him stopped instantly at those words and Dante leaned over Oliver, propping himself up over the blonde with his free hand so that their faces were only inches apart.
"Do I keep doing this until you come or should I stop?"
Flushed and trembling, Oliver nodded fervently. "Keep- keep going, please?"
God, you are not going to start begging, his mind snarled at him, but Oliver was too far gone to listen to it.
Dante nodded and closed the distance between them to kiss Oliver as he started moving again, slow and gentle once more. Oliver shuddered and sobbed dryly against Dante's mouth as he slowly, slowly forced the final barriers down.
And then he was lost.
He gave up trying to hold back and simply clung to Dante as the hot waves of pure bliss washed over him. He cried out into the kiss, shuddering and arching against Dante as the pressure between his legs reached an unbearable peak before suddenly breaking.
His legs went weak and all of the muscles in his lower body tingled and hummed with an odd kind of warmth. He dragged in a huge gulp of air with such force that it hurt his throat and he moaned brokenly, burying his face against the side of Dante's neck.
They lay perfectly, shudderingly still for a long while, just clinging to one another in a kind of blissful trance. Dante carefully withdrew his fingers from Oliver's body; the jarring little scrape on his over sensitized nerves startled Oliver and snapped him back to reality.
"Bloody hell," he whimpered after a moment. "If that was just fingering then actually having sex is probably going to kill me." He raised one shaky hand to his hair and pushed his back out of his face.
Dante raised an eyebrow quizzically at him, looking oddly sheepish all of a sudden. "So, you still wanna... um..." Oliver nodded immediately.
I've come this far, I might as well go all the way.
"Take your pants off then," Oliver muttered, trying to prop himself up on his elbows but failing spectacularly. He was still far too shaky for that. "If that massive, great bulge is anything to go by you can't comfortable."
"Er, yeah..." Dante grinned faintly. "You noticed then."
"Just a bit," Oliver agreed.
Dante clambered off the bed to get undressed, stripping off his shirt and pants with ease. Oliver felt a little flutter of pleasure in his belly at the knowledge that he could actually sit and appreciate Dante's physique without feeling guilty about it. Dante's speciality had always been with larger weapons and blades, and so naturally his body reflected that.
And then he was completely naked and Oliver had more important things to worry about.
"Oh god, it's even bigger when it's hard," he moaned fearfully.
"It's not that big," Dante muttered self-consciously as he crawled back onto the bed with Oliver. "Can I take off your shirt?"
Oliver nodded, still not taking his eyes off Dante's member. "God, it must be, like, twenty inches or something."
"It's seven and half, if you must know," Dante said as he tugged Oliver's shirt off. "It's not that much of a problem, is it?"
Arms snaked around Oliver's waist and pulled him into Dante's lap, forcing him to stop staring at his cock. "Well, no, I don't suppose so, but that's really going to hurt."
"We don't have to do it, if you don't want to," Dante murmured, bumping his nose against Oliver's and kissing him lightly on the corner of his mouth.
"No, I want to, I just don't know how we're gonna get it inside me without killing me." He huffed out a shaky breath and shook his head. "Look, let's just forget it about it for now. It's easier not to worry about it... probably."
Dante smiled uncertainly but kissed Oliver tenderly to take his mind off what would soon be happening. It worked liked a charm and Oliver settled into the kiss in a heartbeat. It was sweet and chaste and caused an unpleasant pang in Oliver's chest. God, he wished he could have this all the time, he really did, but he loved Dante far too much to risk losing him like he lost Seth.
But at least he had this one time.
Moaning into the kiss, Oliver rolled his hips down against Dante's, their bellies pressing together and smearing his cooling seed between them. He could feel the head of Dante's cock pressing against him, just behind his balls and he shuddered at the thought of having it inside of him. Would it feel as good as his fingers did? Or would it just be unbearably painful? He placed his hands on Dante's shoulders, his nails digging into his partner's flesh lightly.
"I want to... to try now," he whispered against Dante's mouth.
"Okay," Dante murmured back before pulling away slightly, "How are we..?"
Oliver shifted around in Dante's lap a little, pressing closer to the American boy. "Just- just hold still, okay?" Dante nodded, his hands settling on Oliver's hips. "Okay... okay." Reaching down behind him, Oliver curled his fingers around Dante's member with a feather light touch. Dante's hands twitched against his hips but stayed in place.
With a little gentle manoeuvring, Oliver soon had it where he needed it and took a little shaky breath to try and settle his nerves. This was going to hurt. He knew that. But he could take it. It was just a little pain, after all. He'd had worse.
Holding that thought in mind, he lowered himself down onto Dante.
It didn't feel half as bad as he'd expected, but that was possibly because he was doing it far too tentatively for it to actually go in. He hissed in frustration as he struggled with it for a long moment before giving up with a string of choice curses to express his displeasure.
"Need any help?" Dante asked, sounding a little breathless.
"It just keeps slipping when I try to push down," Oliver growled. "At least we know the fucking vegetable oil works."
Dante reached down to catch Oliver's hand. "Lie on your back again. Maybe I'll be able to get it in that way?"
Oliver sighed and nodded. "Yeah, alright." In truth, he wasn't sure how he felt about that. There was something unsettling about the idea of lying there submissively as his body was... infiltrated. Seth liked it. Seth loved to be held down like that. Oliver had never been able to understand the appeal, but he supposed, he'd never been given the opportunity to do so.
He lay down on his back again, refusing to look Dante in the eye as the larger boy knelt between his thighs and pushed his legs back. He settled for staring at the ceiling. It seemed like as good a place as any.
"Are you okay if I give it a go now?" Dante asked and Oliver felt the blunt, warm head touch his entrance. It made him shiver and not, he noted with some alarm, in displeasure. He was almost anticipating it.
"Yeah, sure. Go ahead."
Apparently, Dante had considerably more luck with getting it to stay in place, because the moment those words left his lips he felt Dante press forward and a horrible, dull ache began, his muscles protesting against the unwanted incursion.
The pain must have showed on his face because it faded to a faint, throb for a moment and Dante asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Oliver replied, waving it off. "It just aches a little. Keep going."
And so he did and after what couldn't have been more than a few moments, but felt like hours to Oliver's mind, a grand total of the head was in.
"Fuck, how did Seth put up with this?" he moaned through gritted teeth. He pointed an accusing finger at his partner. "And don’t you fucking dare ask me if I want to stop, Dante, because I've come this far and I'll be damned if I'm giving up without another orgasm."
"I wasn't going to say anything!" Dante protested defensively.
Oliver nodded in approval. "Good. Now, let's just get the stupid thing in so we can get on with it."
Rolling his eyes, Dante lay down across Oliver again. "Is it okay if I lie like this?" he asked, folding his arms on the pillow under Oliver's head. Oliver gave a tiny little jerk of his head, curling his fingers around Dante's biceps almost timidly.
Dante struck up a rhythm of tiny, shallow little thrusts, barely doing more than rocking his hips against Oliver's. Oliver frowned in confusion, at first not quite sure what was happening, until one slightly harder thrust caused a spike of pain.
"Ow! What are you..?"
Evidently, Dante didn't think conversation was necessary at this point, and he leaned down to kiss Oliver deeply. It was really rather effective in silencing him and Oliver huffed into the kiss irritably, before giving in and kissing back, all the while very, very aware of the very slow penetration that was happening lower down as each tiny thrust edged Dante in deeper. The dull ache was slowly building again the more Dante managed to get inside, but it was happening slowly enough that Oliver could deal with it.
And then it stopped. Dante pulled away from the kiss, looking vaguely surprised and extremely aroused.
"I'm in," he said bluntly.
"What..? All the way in?" Oliver replied, blinking at him hopefully. Dante responded by rolling his hips and proving that he was very much all the way in. Oliver shuddered, his eyes going wide at the odd sensation.
"Does it feel okay?" Dante asked, a hint of worry showing through in his tone. Oliver nodded without having to think about it.
"Yeah, it- it does. It still sorta hurts but it feels... it feels really good. Oh, god, Dante..."
Dante leaned down to kiss him again and Oliver could feel him smiling against his mouth. The corners of his own mouth twitched upwards and he kissed back eagerly, rolling his hips against Dante's.
"Does it feel good for you too?" Oliver asked when the kiss broke again. "I'm not... I'm not too tight, am I?" He blushed bright red and averted his eyes. That wasn't a question he'd ever thought he'd have to ask someone, especially not Dante.
Still looking vaguely bewildered and, Oliver noted proudly, stunned Dante shook his head. "Nah, you feel, um... good. I mean, you are tight but it's good tight. And it's really hot." Suddenly, his expression turned awkward. "Um, can I..?" He rolled his hips gently to make his point and Oliver shivered.
"Yeah..."
Propping himself up over Oliver, Dante leaned in for another sweet little kiss before trying one, hesitant thrust. Oliver's breath caught just below his ribcage and his whole frame trembled. It didn't feel pleasurable as such - not the way it had when Dante had fingered him - but there was something about the feeling of Dante's member sliding in and out of him like that that was exceedingly enjoyable.
Their position wasn't exactly unpleasant either. Dante's whole body covered Oliver's. A part of him objected to it. He didn’t like the feeling of being unable to escape if he wanted to. He was trapped beneath Dante and there was nothing he could do about it.
But another part of him, the larger part of him that he'd let out just for tonight - the part of him that had him moaning and whining with each thrust - absolutely loved it and Oliver knew exactly why.
It was because he felt safe.
Lying there beneath Dante, their chests and bellies flexing against one another with each breath they took, Oliver felt safe. There was no one in the world he trusted more than his partner. Not his father, not his mother, not his sister or his cousin or even Seth. Because he knew, somewhere deep within him that one day his destructive nature would force everyone away from him. Everyone but Dante.
Dante was moaning now too, not nearly as wantonly as Oliver was, but moaning none the less and that sound coming from a voice as rich as Dante's very nearly blew Oliver's mind. He shuddered and gasped, drawing his legs back further as he clutched at Dante's arms, hoping for a deeper penetration and by God, did it work. The next stroke filled Oliver with the same pleasure from before, but this time it was just that much richer knowing it was caused by actual love making. He cried out, his eyes shut tightly, his toes curling and his nails digging into Dante's arms. He was so close now- so close-
"Open your eyes, Oliver," Dante whispered in his ear and this time it was Oliver who obeyed the peaceful command. His bright green eyes fluttered open and he met Dante's steady, loving gaze. He saw what was coming. He saw the words forming behind Dante's eyes. He wanted to beg Dante not to say it but he was too far gone, the pleasure too intense for him to say anything-
"I love you," Dante murmured, his voice quivering for the first time with so much feeling that Oliver felt his heart constrict painfully as his own repressed emotions clawed their way to the surface in response to the tender confession.
Don't say anything! his mind screamed at him but it was already too late.
"I love you too..." he said in a hushed voice and he felt his mind go still and cold as Dante's eyes brightened with what was unmistakably pure joy. And so he did the only thing he could. He slipped his arms around Dante's neck and pulled him down on top of him, burying his face against his shoulder so he wouldn't have to see the happiness in his partner's eyes - in his lover's eyes.
Although his mind had switched itself off protectively, Oliver's body still responded to their lovemaking zealously. He was only vaguely aware of the pleasure building within him for a second time and when he came his vision went oddly bright for a moment. After that the thrusts hurt, not from the penetration but rather because his nerves were so sensitive that the pleasure caused by each thrust now was unbearable. Never-the-less, he clung to Dante, silently waiting for Dante to come too.
Oliver knew it immediately when he did. Dante stiffened above him, his whole body going still and he bit gently at the crook of Oliver's neck to settle himself. When he was done he slumped heavily on top of Oliver, emotionally and physically exhausted.
"Sorry," he murmured after a moment, lifting himself up, his now soft member sliding easily out of Oliver's body, followed by a light trickle of semen. Oliver shifted uneasily onto his side, facing away from Dante, being careful not to let anything touch his tender sex as he settled down on his side.
"Don't be," Oliver replied quietly, his tone of voice dull and numb. "Let's just go to sleep. I'm tired."
Dante made a soft affirmative noise and leaned across Oliver to switch off the table lamp before settling down behind Oliver. He paused before uncertainly curling his arms around Oliver's slender waist. When no objections seemed to be forthcoming, he nestled up against Oliver's back and relaxed, seemingly content.
- - -
And that brought him back to the present.
Oliver wasn't sure how long he'd been lying there awake but it had been long enough that the inhibitions he'd thrown away in the heat of the moment had returned with a vengeance. He closed his eyes tightly and curled his hand in front of his mouth, as though to hide the way his jaw trembled with the urge to sob. He found himself wishing that he had the courage to wake Dante and beg to be comforted. He needed to be reassured but he didn't know how to ask for it. He wanted to be able to let himself just love Dante the way he had Seth, but he couldn't do that either. The fear of losing Dante was just too strong.
At some point he'd started crying quietly, his whole body shuddering with almost silent sobs. He clasped both hands over his mouth, struggling to force it down - how pathetic was he? - but he couldn't. The harder he tried to stop, the harder he sobbed until he had to gasp just to breathe.
Dante stirred behind him, disturbed by his shaking and groaned sleepily. "Oliver..?" he asked before yawning, pulling away somewhat to rub his eyes. "Why aren't you asleep?"
He couldn't answer. If he tried he wouldn't be able to hide the fact he was crying. God, he didn't want to look so weak in front of Dante. Please, please, please don't let him see...
"Oliver?" Dante asked again, his voice more serious now. His hand clamped down on Oliver's shoulder with a gentle firmness and he made a vague attempt to pull Oliver onto his back. "Hey, look at me."
Oliver shook his head fervently, biting at his knuckles to stop the sobs but failing miserably.
"Oh, God, Oliver..." Dante whispered, moving closer and curling his body around Oliver's again, "You regret it, don't you? Oh, shit, Oliver, baby, I'm so sorry-"
"D-don't..." Oliver growled through gritted teeth, "Please don't. Don't say you're sorry, please, please don't say that."
"...Okay," Dante replied, his own voice shaking now as he too fought back sobs. To distract himself he reached up and began combing his fingers through Oliver's hair, stroking it out of his face lovingly. It only made Oliver cry harder and he twisted around in Dante's arms until he was facing the other boy. He refused to meet his eyes, instead choosing to stare at his chest.
"You're right there..." he moaned, his vision pretty much ruined by tears. He wanted to explain to Dante how he felt; why he was afraid but he didn't know how to say it in a way that would make sense to anyone who wasn't him.
Dante tightened his grip on Oliver and rolled onto his back, pulling Oliver on top of him. Oliver nuzzled against Dante's collarbone, desperately seeking comfort. "Yeah, Oliver, I'm right here..." he whispered, rubbing his hand up and down Oliver's back soothingly, "I'm always going to be right here. I promise."
That's just it though, Oliver thought as he clung to his partner; his best friend; his lover, what if you're not?