FOUR (POSSIBLY MAYBE)
As strange as this may sound, I like my job. I'm not ashamed to admit it, I like washing dishes. Maybe it's because I've become attached to the restauraunt and it's employees/owners. I care about what happens to this place. This isn't like the stereotypical restauraunt, it's a very lax place. My bosses don't even realize I'm stoned most of the time, and they never tell me what to do. I work hard, and show up early every day, and that's what does it for them I think. They brag about me to my parents and, to be honest, it makes me feel good. The food there, which I tried for the first time yesterday, is actually very good. I was pleasantly surprised.
The relationship with Brittany has been same ol' same ol' pretty much. We are still madly in love with each other. We actually got into a little bit of a dispute the other day, but it turned out to my advantage. It turned out to be one of the greatest nights of my life. We talked all night and I never got bored or tired, and when she had to go...I missed her. The dispute was about me not trusting her because her ex was in town and was trying to hook up with her. He said he wanted to fucking eat her out! If I was there you'd better believe I'd be going nuts. I'd kick that fuckers ass. She came out the victor in that argument. She told me how much she loves me, and how much she does for me, and then I felt like a complete asshole for not trusting her before. She is so intelligent. She wants to major in psychology and law. I think she can do whatever she wants.
To be brutally honest, she is the only one I can truthfully say that I trust with anything and everything. She is so amazing.
But maybe I'm not supposed to be this happy. Maybe I don't deserve this shit. I can't help but wonder what it is that makes those people, who profusely swear upon life and death that they are so head over heels in love with one another, later turn out to hate each other. It's sad, and I pray that this fate does not appertain to me, but I can't help but wonder. If it's happened to me in the past, why will it not happen now? Truth be told, I am afraid of girls. I always have been. When I feel like I'm falling for one I have to stop myself so I don't end up hurting like I have so many times before. That hurt is nearly unbearable. But Brittany is different. Brittany is perfect to me.
I don't want that to become of me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...or maybe I'm just being rational. I don't know.
The relationship with Brittany has been same ol' same ol' pretty much. We are still madly in love with each other. We actually got into a little bit of a dispute the other day, but it turned out to my advantage. It turned out to be one of the greatest nights of my life. We talked all night and I never got bored or tired, and when she had to go...I missed her. The dispute was about me not trusting her because her ex was in town and was trying to hook up with her. He said he wanted to fucking eat her out! If I was there you'd better believe I'd be going nuts. I'd kick that fuckers ass. She came out the victor in that argument. She told me how much she loves me, and how much she does for me, and then I felt like a complete asshole for not trusting her before. She is so intelligent. She wants to major in psychology and law. I think she can do whatever she wants.
To be brutally honest, she is the only one I can truthfully say that I trust with anything and everything. She is so amazing.
But maybe I'm not supposed to be this happy. Maybe I don't deserve this shit. I can't help but wonder what it is that makes those people, who profusely swear upon life and death that they are so head over heels in love with one another, later turn out to hate each other. It's sad, and I pray that this fate does not appertain to me, but I can't help but wonder. If it's happened to me in the past, why will it not happen now? Truth be told, I am afraid of girls. I always have been. When I feel like I'm falling for one I have to stop myself so I don't end up hurting like I have so many times before. That hurt is nearly unbearable. But Brittany is different. Brittany is perfect to me.
I don't want that to become of me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...or maybe I'm just being rational. I don't know.