ONE (FEEL THE HIGH)
I've been talking to this girl back and forth on the internet for a while now. She's a really interesting person, which is probably why I persist on doing so. This girl and I have an extreme amount in common. We're both originally from Kentucky, we're both fans of UK basketball, we both like to drink, we both love music with a passion, we both LOVE PANCAKES, we both blah blah blah etc. etc. The thing is that she's starting to have a strong emotional attachment to me, and I to her. I know I know, it's the internet, and it would probably be better just to drop it right now, but sometimes things just happen that you can't predict. For instance, I never thought I'd ever meet a person like her over this medium, nor did I ever think said person would find me instead of me find them. But now that I think of it, I'm glad I get to have these experiences. It's just a shame that in my situation it seems as if the most perfect people are so far away, and when you finally find them they really are still literally so far away. It's enough to get you misty eyed almost.
I think of how things could be all the time, though I try not to. I try not to regret the past or peer too hard into the future in which I obviously know nothing about. But I can't help it. I can't help but regret all those times I let what seemed like the perfect one get away. It always seemed like such a good idea at the time, and I was probably right to let them go, but I can never stop and think about what it would have been like if...you know, the future happened, and our relationship developed and we maybe started living together. Then what? We get married? We have kids? I wondered what our kids would look like, but they had blank faces. There was always something that told me not to confront this, that told me to get away before it's too late. But with this girl, Brittany, I don't have that...but I am afraid that someday everything will turn to mush. I'm afraid that it will all lose it's luster as all things tend to do. Even the greatest of things...
The internet is a fucking paradox. It's both a curse and a blessing.
In a way I think this relationship we have could be like a song. No song in particular, just a beautiful, ordinary song. A song that draws you in and once you start listening you never want to turn it off or drop your headphones. You just want to be there forever, listening to this song. You want to hear the chords over and over, and let the harmonies reverberate in your ear drums. It's like being in that moment that you found this song, the most beautiful song ever, and your heart skips a few beats. It's almost overwhelming, but completely satiable. I think sometimes that's what music does to you when it's just so beautiful. It sucks you in and spits you out dry. It makes you rewind it again and again because it knows you're too immersed to know when to stop. Then you come back to reality and you start to get tired of the song, and you move on to another one. You saw it coming all along, but you were so addicted to the song that you couldn't bring yourself to pull away from it.
But maybe, just maybe she will be different. Maybe she will be that one everlasting, perfect song. The song you never, ever get tired of hearing.
I think of how things could be all the time, though I try not to. I try not to regret the past or peer too hard into the future in which I obviously know nothing about. But I can't help it. I can't help but regret all those times I let what seemed like the perfect one get away. It always seemed like such a good idea at the time, and I was probably right to let them go, but I can never stop and think about what it would have been like if...you know, the future happened, and our relationship developed and we maybe started living together. Then what? We get married? We have kids? I wondered what our kids would look like, but they had blank faces. There was always something that told me not to confront this, that told me to get away before it's too late. But with this girl, Brittany, I don't have that...but I am afraid that someday everything will turn to mush. I'm afraid that it will all lose it's luster as all things tend to do. Even the greatest of things...
The internet is a fucking paradox. It's both a curse and a blessing.
In a way I think this relationship we have could be like a song. No song in particular, just a beautiful, ordinary song. A song that draws you in and once you start listening you never want to turn it off or drop your headphones. You just want to be there forever, listening to this song. You want to hear the chords over and over, and let the harmonies reverberate in your ear drums. It's like being in that moment that you found this song, the most beautiful song ever, and your heart skips a few beats. It's almost overwhelming, but completely satiable. I think sometimes that's what music does to you when it's just so beautiful. It sucks you in and spits you out dry. It makes you rewind it again and again because it knows you're too immersed to know when to stop. Then you come back to reality and you start to get tired of the song, and you move on to another one. You saw it coming all along, but you were so addicted to the song that you couldn't bring yourself to pull away from it.
But maybe, just maybe she will be different. Maybe she will be that one everlasting, perfect song. The song you never, ever get tired of hearing.