So, Yeah... High School Musical Makes No Sense
This is a clip of "Stick to the Status Quo", one of the early numbers in the first High School Musical movie. Now, I hadn't seen HSM before, and I normally am at least amenable to the musical form in all its surreality and sillyness, but I already found a number of things wrong with this clip. I mean, obviously, other than the horrible choreography, awful lyrics, mediocre singing, and overly stagey acting, of course.
1.) AHAHAAHA. I love how the Disney writers seem to think it's still not "cool" for high school guys to cook. Especially if they're jocks! Because that totally will not be acceptable at all to their peers! Dude, three quarters of my culinary class back in high school? GUYS. Including? AT LEAST THREE JOCKS. Guys = liking food. Learning to prepare it isn't girly anymore Disney. Emeril Lagasse kind of already put the last nail in that coffin a long, long time ago. Thanks for assuming we still live in the 1950's, with them goshdarned gender stereotypes preventing the menfolk from OMG MAKING TASTY FOOD FOR THEMSELVES.
2.) I like how they assume that not only do scholastic nerds - even the frickin Type A nerds - only, only, only care about studying, but that GASP! music and dancing!? FUN!? HOW EVIL! to them. Right, because it's not at all like the kids who would ENJOY studying and learning would ever be open-minded to new experiences. And they totally, 100% all of them would be averse to physical activity in any way. Because all nerds are totally just pasty-faced drones who only care about what's in their textbook! And no type-A overachievers ever in a million years do a whole bunch of stuff outside of their textbooks if for other reason than it's nice padding for their college resume. Nope, they completely don't ever do anything except do homework and read their textbooks! That's not a bizarre assertion to make at all!
3.) Does Disney even REALIZE how many so-called "slackers" are only "slackers" because they don't care about school so much as enjoying life? And that in fact, the slacker druggie community (come on, those kids are totally potheads, even if the writers can't say it outright) is actually quite involved in the creative fields? And that in fact, slackers would totally not freak out if they discovered their friends played cello, but more likely react with a "oh, hey, that's cool man"?
And just think: I didn't even touch the fact that the people making fun of the guy who wants to act in the school musical in fact are... singing their hearts out and doing random showy dance moves (mostly BAD showy dance moves). Often cheerfully. Even the ones who've just supposedly been hideously rejected by their peers are now suddenly, happily dancing with those same brutally mean "friends".
And yes, I realize that "it's a musical, it's supposed to have random song and dance numbers!" See, the problem is... that kind of setup? Makes it really goddamned hard to suspend my disbelief. The very fact that the two main kids are trying out for the school musical? Calls way, way too much attention to the you know, MUSICAL aspect, and makes the whole thing seem so... precious. Like "omg look at us you guyz!!! It's a musical, about a guy n this girl and they're trying out for a musical but their entire school is like, sooooo harsh and they sing to them about why it's bad for them to sing! And emphasize how singing and dancing are bad, bad things, by like, dancing in a huge number!"
It's not clever or well-made enough to have that kind of premise, to be honest. I mean, I could actually see it if it were done like the 2002 film version of Chicago, where it's in characters' heads or something, and had better... um, everything. But it's not. It's a straightforward musical... where people make fun of the guy who wants to be in a musical. Through musical numbers.
Just... just... no. Sorry. That's too stupid even for a musical, hell, even for a KIDS musical, it's too stupid.
Somebody please again tell me how the fuck this became a big enough hit to get two sequels, including one with a theatrical release? Because... I'm thinkin' now that the main reason is, as they say in Dogma: "Somebody sold their soul for that one."
1.) AHAHAAHA. I love how the Disney writers seem to think it's still not "cool" for high school guys to cook. Especially if they're jocks! Because that totally will not be acceptable at all to their peers! Dude, three quarters of my culinary class back in high school? GUYS. Including? AT LEAST THREE JOCKS. Guys = liking food. Learning to prepare it isn't girly anymore Disney. Emeril Lagasse kind of already put the last nail in that coffin a long, long time ago. Thanks for assuming we still live in the 1950's, with them goshdarned gender stereotypes preventing the menfolk from OMG MAKING TASTY FOOD FOR THEMSELVES.
2.) I like how they assume that not only do scholastic nerds - even the frickin Type A nerds - only, only, only care about studying, but that GASP! music and dancing!? FUN!? HOW EVIL! to them. Right, because it's not at all like the kids who would ENJOY studying and learning would ever be open-minded to new experiences. And they totally, 100% all of them would be averse to physical activity in any way. Because all nerds are totally just pasty-faced drones who only care about what's in their textbook! And no type-A overachievers ever in a million years do a whole bunch of stuff outside of their textbooks if for other reason than it's nice padding for their college resume. Nope, they completely don't ever do anything except do homework and read their textbooks! That's not a bizarre assertion to make at all!
3.) Does Disney even REALIZE how many so-called "slackers" are only "slackers" because they don't care about school so much as enjoying life? And that in fact, the slacker druggie community (come on, those kids are totally potheads, even if the writers can't say it outright) is actually quite involved in the creative fields? And that in fact, slackers would totally not freak out if they discovered their friends played cello, but more likely react with a "oh, hey, that's cool man"?
And just think: I didn't even touch the fact that the people making fun of the guy who wants to act in the school musical in fact are... singing their hearts out and doing random showy dance moves (mostly BAD showy dance moves). Often cheerfully. Even the ones who've just supposedly been hideously rejected by their peers are now suddenly, happily dancing with those same brutally mean "friends".
And yes, I realize that "it's a musical, it's supposed to have random song and dance numbers!" See, the problem is... that kind of setup? Makes it really goddamned hard to suspend my disbelief. The very fact that the two main kids are trying out for the school musical? Calls way, way too much attention to the you know, MUSICAL aspect, and makes the whole thing seem so... precious. Like "omg look at us you guyz!!! It's a musical, about a guy n this girl and they're trying out for a musical but their entire school is like, sooooo harsh and they sing to them about why it's bad for them to sing! And emphasize how singing and dancing are bad, bad things, by like, dancing in a huge number!"
It's not clever or well-made enough to have that kind of premise, to be honest. I mean, I could actually see it if it were done like the 2002 film version of Chicago, where it's in characters' heads or something, and had better... um, everything. But it's not. It's a straightforward musical... where people make fun of the guy who wants to be in a musical. Through musical numbers.
Just... just... no. Sorry. That's too stupid even for a musical, hell, even for a KIDS musical, it's too stupid.
Somebody please again tell me how the fuck this became a big enough hit to get two sequels, including one with a theatrical release? Because... I'm thinkin' now that the main reason is, as they say in Dogma: "Somebody sold their soul for that one."