Return to the person that you were...
Let these tiny acts of charity become a ground on which to build. a monument to comemorate our time
let the forrest grow over the path u came on by.
hurry up and run to the one that you love and blind hinm with your kindness and he'll make war on who you were before and claim all teh spoil in your heart. hell yah boys....
Make War by Bright Eyes
I had a waking experience this afternoon. I threw up for the first time in close to 13 years.
I'll spare the details of why and hows, but it involved me making an ass of myself the previous night.
A huge ass of myself.
Why do we indulge in activities that we know isnt what we want.
Its only a surface substitute and you are lying to yourself.
Ive never heard make war by bright eyes. Being in california, I still tap back to my
love Minneapolis through the internet version of City Pages to check up on my horoscopes.
IT told me I needed (in more articulate words) that I needed a new soundtrack to my life.
I opened itunes shared network and picked a random song.
The other night...last night actually. I called Evan. This phone call basically ended by me saying I didnt want to be his friend.
I live a great life I doubt I deserve. I live nicely everyday. But I know I need to cry and that I cant.
I havent cried for a really long time, and I know my body needs it.
What a strange bodily function. Crying.
I am great actually. I am doing great. But, I know there is a piece of me that is angry, and if I dont address it its not going to get better. Im angry that I give and dont receive back. Im angry that I try so hard with no avail.
Im angry that I tried to hard and gave so much to Evan and against both of our efforts he makes me want to rip his head off and cry to this day looking back. I never loved him. That makes me sad. Perhaps there were moments. Im angry that he thinks the relationship was other wise great. No. I disagree. I can agree to disagree but he cant, he insists that I also believe the relationship was other wise great. No. I can't believe Im still angry about him. I cant believe he still makes me angry. Thats how awful it was.
I believe love exists. But I dont believe in it. I dont believe its in the cards for me.
Apparently last night, the night I dont remember at all. I was crying in hysteria that no one wanted me and that no one would ever want me and Jason and Liz were giving me bear hugs and telling me it was all gonna be okay.
I made such an ass of myself.
How am I suppose to address this anger.
Its not okay to leave this like this any longer.
Ive never had a positive relationship with a guy.
Oy.
Im upbeat and positive on a daily basis and content. But its just constantly there consciouly or not.
Other then that.
Im going to bed. This weekend we have to video shoots. Tomorrows starts at noon in the soccer field.
Its a stylized samurai fight with a drummer or something. The one after that is in Venice Beach. Its gonna be rediculous. They are interviewing los angeles bums about their sexual habits.
let the forrest grow over the path u came on by.
hurry up and run to the one that you love and blind hinm with your kindness and he'll make war on who you were before and claim all teh spoil in your heart. hell yah boys....
Make War by Bright Eyes
I had a waking experience this afternoon. I threw up for the first time in close to 13 years.
I'll spare the details of why and hows, but it involved me making an ass of myself the previous night.
A huge ass of myself.
Why do we indulge in activities that we know isnt what we want.
Its only a surface substitute and you are lying to yourself.
Ive never heard make war by bright eyes. Being in california, I still tap back to my
love Minneapolis through the internet version of City Pages to check up on my horoscopes.
IT told me I needed (in more articulate words) that I needed a new soundtrack to my life.
I opened itunes shared network and picked a random song.
The other night...last night actually. I called Evan. This phone call basically ended by me saying I didnt want to be his friend.
I live a great life I doubt I deserve. I live nicely everyday. But I know I need to cry and that I cant.
I havent cried for a really long time, and I know my body needs it.
What a strange bodily function. Crying.
I am great actually. I am doing great. But, I know there is a piece of me that is angry, and if I dont address it its not going to get better. Im angry that I give and dont receive back. Im angry that I try so hard with no avail.
Im angry that I tried to hard and gave so much to Evan and against both of our efforts he makes me want to rip his head off and cry to this day looking back. I never loved him. That makes me sad. Perhaps there were moments. Im angry that he thinks the relationship was other wise great. No. I disagree. I can agree to disagree but he cant, he insists that I also believe the relationship was other wise great. No. I can't believe Im still angry about him. I cant believe he still makes me angry. Thats how awful it was.
I believe love exists. But I dont believe in it. I dont believe its in the cards for me.
Apparently last night, the night I dont remember at all. I was crying in hysteria that no one wanted me and that no one would ever want me and Jason and Liz were giving me bear hugs and telling me it was all gonna be okay.
I made such an ass of myself.
How am I suppose to address this anger.
Its not okay to leave this like this any longer.
Ive never had a positive relationship with a guy.
Oy.
Im upbeat and positive on a daily basis and content. But its just constantly there consciouly or not.
Other then that.
Im going to bed. This weekend we have to video shoots. Tomorrows starts at noon in the soccer field.
Its a stylized samurai fight with a drummer or something. The one after that is in Venice Beach. Its gonna be rediculous. They are interviewing los angeles bums about their sexual habits.