(no subject)
wow i am afraid i have the flu or something. i dont know what it is but i feel incredibly out of it. i slept for about 11 hours, then was hungry. all i ate yesterday was candy and a bowl of cereal. a lot of candy though. so i woke up all dizzy and disorientated. now i have eaten cereal and more candy but i cant get rid of this headache. plus i feel nauseous and dizzy and just all around awful. plus i am lonely and bored. all i want to do is curl up in my room and re-read Lolita (it really is so much better after graduating with an english degree!) as i have been doing all day but now my head hurts too bad to read and the darkness of our house is depressing me. wonderful that as soon as it becomes novemeber it becomes dark and rainy and dreary! i am not looking forward to working tomorrow in the rain! i'm excited for thanksgiving/christmas, but i feel i am going to be depressed this year since i have no "christmas break."
i have been half-heartedly sending in job apps and apparently one was to Vector Marketing since they called me back ASAP! how disappointing. i wish someone would want to hire me who wasn't a scam. reading lolita is exciting yet depressing how a native russian/swiss/frenchman is so better at english prose than any english writer i think i have ever read, sans maybe Kerouac, but that's just because i'm biased. I started writing free verse poetry again, mostly because i am bored and depressed...but all of it ends up being about crazy lovers who overdose on Valium and stab eachother with kitchen knives then burn down fields, and i dont think it's healthy. i am tempted to just watch my Lost dvds but am waiting for megan..and now i'm thinking i should take a cue from her and get a job/friends/a life so i dont have to keep annoying the same people day and night.
OH! but besides that, lovely WEIRD halloween. i got the sick-flu-bug right before it of course, and was too hopped up on cold medicine to handle much of drinking (which i did anyway of course), and anyway, Erin and her bf Mike came up to hang out with me for a bit, and they told me they're engaged!!!!!!!!!! I was half-way afraid she was going to tell me that when she told me "she had a secret to tell me," and was all set with reservations and lectures and fears about them only dating for a few month, and it being another psycho-codependant-darren thing about wanting to get married and doing it with anyone because we're weird Salem kids who get the marriage bug at age 17....
but then as soon as she told me i was nothing but happy. Mike, besdies being slightly ghetto, is a pretty awesome guy and i can see from hanging out with them only twice that its not a Darren thing. I'll always be slightly worried about erin since she's one of those girls who ALWAYS has to have a boyfriend. but since i'm not one of those girls i'm always hesitant of them. But i haven't seen two people look that happy together in a long time. And well...i know like 20 other kids from my high school who are married now, so i guess we're not really so young anymore. I didn't think i'd get to the age where when my friends tell me they're getting married my first reaction wouldn't be "but you're too young!" I couldn't help but be happy and cry, because she's been my best friend for 18 years and now she's getting married. She told me i get to be "bridesmaid #1," and cindy is going to be "bridesmaid #2." I'm going to have to start planning a bachelorette party. I want to do Vegas, but she said they might get married there, which would take away some of the excitment. plus i dont think i can really afford vegas. too bad oregon isn't fun. A few weeks ago i saw this girl wearing a bachelorette tee shirt crying in an alley outside of a club while her friends drunkenly yelled around her. weddings + alcohol = tears i guess.
wow i better go lay down now. i feel like i might actually pass out. i should eat something :(
i have been half-heartedly sending in job apps and apparently one was to Vector Marketing since they called me back ASAP! how disappointing. i wish someone would want to hire me who wasn't a scam. reading lolita is exciting yet depressing how a native russian/swiss/frenchman is so better at english prose than any english writer i think i have ever read, sans maybe Kerouac, but that's just because i'm biased. I started writing free verse poetry again, mostly because i am bored and depressed...but all of it ends up being about crazy lovers who overdose on Valium and stab eachother with kitchen knives then burn down fields, and i dont think it's healthy. i am tempted to just watch my Lost dvds but am waiting for megan..and now i'm thinking i should take a cue from her and get a job/friends/a life so i dont have to keep annoying the same people day and night.
OH! but besides that, lovely WEIRD halloween. i got the sick-flu-bug right before it of course, and was too hopped up on cold medicine to handle much of drinking (which i did anyway of course), and anyway, Erin and her bf Mike came up to hang out with me for a bit, and they told me they're engaged!!!!!!!!!! I was half-way afraid she was going to tell me that when she told me "she had a secret to tell me," and was all set with reservations and lectures and fears about them only dating for a few month, and it being another psycho-codependant-darren thing about wanting to get married and doing it with anyone because we're weird Salem kids who get the marriage bug at age 17....
but then as soon as she told me i was nothing but happy. Mike, besdies being slightly ghetto, is a pretty awesome guy and i can see from hanging out with them only twice that its not a Darren thing. I'll always be slightly worried about erin since she's one of those girls who ALWAYS has to have a boyfriend. but since i'm not one of those girls i'm always hesitant of them. But i haven't seen two people look that happy together in a long time. And well...i know like 20 other kids from my high school who are married now, so i guess we're not really so young anymore. I didn't think i'd get to the age where when my friends tell me they're getting married my first reaction wouldn't be "but you're too young!" I couldn't help but be happy and cry, because she's been my best friend for 18 years and now she's getting married. She told me i get to be "bridesmaid #1," and cindy is going to be "bridesmaid #2." I'm going to have to start planning a bachelorette party. I want to do Vegas, but she said they might get married there, which would take away some of the excitment. plus i dont think i can really afford vegas. too bad oregon isn't fun. A few weeks ago i saw this girl wearing a bachelorette tee shirt crying in an alley outside of a club while her friends drunkenly yelled around her. weddings + alcohol = tears i guess.
wow i better go lay down now. i feel like i might actually pass out. i should eat something :(