National Day of the stupid?
I have just witnessed, the most mind-boggling of exchanges between two grown women.
You may remember I mentioned a pink shop I frequent in Brighton. Well the woman who runs it is nice, but mad as a bag of angry man-eating badgers. Anyway, she doesn't tolerate fools or simpletons and she also has ignored or possibly destroyed any book on customer service she can find. After all it is her business and she will run it as she sees fit! Not as someone else tells her to... Anyway, an Office Type Woman (OTW) enters shop, peruses the board for a long time and then requests "a Prawn Cocktail, sans mayonnaise, with Salad and a Baked Potato".....
Imaging the gears and wheels that propel this planet around the Sun, suddenly grinding to an abrupt halt. Cue patronising and confused smile from Pink Lady (PL).
PL "We don't do Prawn Cocktails. And we don't do them without mayonnaise."
OTW "But it says it on the board and I want a Prawn Cocktail, only without the Mayonnaise..." - one assumes it was on account of a diet, although they are large portions so skimping on Mayonnaise is not going to help a bunter shed pounds what with the Jacket potatoes being huge in that shop...
PL "As already stated, I can't do that for you, because - the Prawns only come in Mayonnaise."
OTW "Can't you just pick them out?"
PL "Well can't you just pick them out?"
OTW "Okay we don't seem to be getting anywhere here... Why can't I have them without mayonnaise?"
PL Exasperated now, and smiling through gritted teeth - "Because they only come in Mayonnaise"
OTW "But it says it on the board there!" Pointing at the board which says Prawn Cocktail + Salad. This entry is listed under Bagels.
PL "That is a Prawn Cocktail Bagel filling. It is not a prawn cocktail. It is already mixed when I get it here. It only comes with Mayonnaise."
OTW stares at her, stares back at the board. She is obviously used to getting her way with shop keepers and staff everywhere, used to being able to order variations on a prescribed menu and make people bend over backwards to serve her.
Meanwhile PL is staring at me in a 'Can't you see what a dumbass she is?' kind of way and I am trying to manage the knowing smile and avoiding getting dragged into things at the same time, thinking please just bring me my order so I can escape.
OTW "I'll have the Ratatouille filling then"
PL "We're out of that I am afraid." - No that is the wrong answer. Now it just seems mean and unkind to deny her any more. You have won already!
OTW "I'll have Egg Mayonnaise then."
PL stares at her like a sniper with the fabled thousand yard stare. This is not going to be pretty. "Certainly."
I am standing there now wondering why the woman is happy to have her eggs besmirched by mayonnaise, but not her prawns? Then the OTW delivers a surprise blow.
OTW "As a customer request, perhaps you could add the Prawns to the menu, without Mayonnaise for when I come in next?"
PL without blinking "They only come in Mayonnaise." _ although this now sounds sheer bloody-mindedness on her part, as she clearly said it in a 'no-cocking-chance-matey' way. I am impressed by her lack of customer conscience and a 'this-is-my-cocking-shop' mentality.
All this time, through the whole exchange I am still wondering about the Mayonnaise - why prawns=bad and eggs=good, if this was all diet related - and wondering why OTW doesn't just up and walk out?
See the woman could have just asked for something from the board. The owner could have offered to accommodate her in some way, perhaps showing her the mixture by means of explanation etc, but no. Two stubbord women and the potential for bloodshed.
Bloody Day of the stupid....in PL's eyes
I left before the resolution, eager to scarper and quickly tear into my baguette. Perhaps the incident may have turned nasty - ending with sharp stale baguette fragments in one's eye and a butter knife up the arris - I will be checking the news later, for stories of a missing woman, last seen buying her lunch in Brighton....
In other news... my ears are slightly better again although the left one still hurts and is frankly a bit sh*t. I have had no sleep and a migraine is still dancing around behind my eyes waving its ass in my general direction. I achieved nothing yesterday Except uploading these bits of my LA footage from Universal Studios:
You may remember I mentioned a pink shop I frequent in Brighton. Well the woman who runs it is nice, but mad as a bag of angry man-eating badgers. Anyway, she doesn't tolerate fools or simpletons and she also has ignored or possibly destroyed any book on customer service she can find. After all it is her business and she will run it as she sees fit! Not as someone else tells her to... Anyway, an Office Type Woman (OTW) enters shop, peruses the board for a long time and then requests "a Prawn Cocktail, sans mayonnaise, with Salad and a Baked Potato".....
Imaging the gears and wheels that propel this planet around the Sun, suddenly grinding to an abrupt halt. Cue patronising and confused smile from Pink Lady (PL).
PL "We don't do Prawn Cocktails. And we don't do them without mayonnaise."
OTW "But it says it on the board and I want a Prawn Cocktail, only without the Mayonnaise..." - one assumes it was on account of a diet, although they are large portions so skimping on Mayonnaise is not going to help a bunter shed pounds what with the Jacket potatoes being huge in that shop...
PL "As already stated, I can't do that for you, because - the Prawns only come in Mayonnaise."
OTW "Can't you just pick them out?"
PL "Well can't you just pick them out?"
OTW "Okay we don't seem to be getting anywhere here... Why can't I have them without mayonnaise?"
PL Exasperated now, and smiling through gritted teeth - "Because they only come in Mayonnaise"
OTW "But it says it on the board there!" Pointing at the board which says Prawn Cocktail + Salad. This entry is listed under Bagels.
PL "That is a Prawn Cocktail Bagel filling. It is not a prawn cocktail. It is already mixed when I get it here. It only comes with Mayonnaise."
OTW stares at her, stares back at the board. She is obviously used to getting her way with shop keepers and staff everywhere, used to being able to order variations on a prescribed menu and make people bend over backwards to serve her.
Meanwhile PL is staring at me in a 'Can't you see what a dumbass she is?' kind of way and I am trying to manage the knowing smile and avoiding getting dragged into things at the same time, thinking please just bring me my order so I can escape.
OTW "I'll have the Ratatouille filling then"
PL "We're out of that I am afraid." - No that is the wrong answer. Now it just seems mean and unkind to deny her any more. You have won already!
OTW "I'll have Egg Mayonnaise then."
PL stares at her like a sniper with the fabled thousand yard stare. This is not going to be pretty. "Certainly."
I am standing there now wondering why the woman is happy to have her eggs besmirched by mayonnaise, but not her prawns? Then the OTW delivers a surprise blow.
OTW "As a customer request, perhaps you could add the Prawns to the menu, without Mayonnaise for when I come in next?"
PL without blinking "They only come in Mayonnaise." _ although this now sounds sheer bloody-mindedness on her part, as she clearly said it in a 'no-cocking-chance-matey' way. I am impressed by her lack of customer conscience and a 'this-is-my-cocking-shop' mentality.
All this time, through the whole exchange I am still wondering about the Mayonnaise - why prawns=bad and eggs=good, if this was all diet related - and wondering why OTW doesn't just up and walk out?
See the woman could have just asked for something from the board. The owner could have offered to accommodate her in some way, perhaps showing her the mixture by means of explanation etc, but no. Two stubbord women and the potential for bloodshed.
Bloody Day of the stupid....in PL's eyes
I left before the resolution, eager to scarper and quickly tear into my baguette. Perhaps the incident may have turned nasty - ending with sharp stale baguette fragments in one's eye and a butter knife up the arris - I will be checking the news later, for stories of a missing woman, last seen buying her lunch in Brighton....
In other news... my ears are slightly better again although the left one still hurts and is frankly a bit sh*t. I have had no sleep and a migraine is still dancing around behind my eyes waving its ass in my general direction. I achieved nothing yesterday Except uploading these bits of my LA footage from Universal Studios:
Click to view