Isle of Wight!
Picture Post!
So, I have been very very lazy and not done the picture post until now. I'd say that I've been busy, and that uploading and resizing 200+ pictures to photobucket takes ages, but we all know that's a big fib don't we. I am the original lazy ho.
(Plus I mucked up the resizing, so they're all different, and I can't be bothered to go back and upload them again because you can't un-resize after you've done it. DAMN YOU PHOTOBUCKET.)
Anyhow! Here I shall be recapping the adventures of me, my mother, father, Julian, Danwise and Tom (aka The Shave) as we gallivant about the Isle of Wight like Bush at an arms convention. It was a week of fun and frolics for all. Hoorah.
Like all worthy tales, this one starts with a sausage.
Danwise likes his sausages as you can see. And YES they are the famed Porkinson's Bangers. Do you honestly think I'd be feeding him inferior sausages?
Anyhow, we cross over the Solent on the ferry, which is much fun, especially in rough weather. But no rough weather today.
The house in Ventnor, on the South side of the island. It's the white one.
Danwise and The Shave waste no time in getting stuck into the Channel, plus boat. (Or "Mr Boat", as he was dubbed.)
Ventnor beach is pretteh.
Every year, because the beach is pebbly, I look for sea-glass.
FOUND SOME OMGYAY.
I got everyone looking for it.
Except Julian who had a new toy.
And Danwise who was more interested in making a limp hand gesture :(
Danwise and The Shave play silly buggers with Boat. lol at the guy picking out his wedgie on the right there.
We thought it would be quite funny if we photoshopped this so Julian and Tom's pinky-fingers were entwined. But my photoshop skillz are not quite that advanced. :(
Next day, Compton Bay! I spent quite a lot of time swanning around wading ankle-deep in the water trying to be Venusy and Bohemian. Managed to get into the water, but only after half an hour of agonised inching-in. God bless the Gulfstream, is all I can say.
Danwise suns.
Julian emerges.
LMAO, I only just noticed Tom lying flat-out on the right there. Where are his feet? Come to that, where is his head!? Srsly guys, what the fig is going on there? XD
Boniface Downs! I used to call it "Bunnyface" which is rather embarrassing. Anyhow, it's the highest part of the island, and we always go up to see the sun setting at least once every time we visit.
It has barrows! Me and Julian got very excited when we were little, thinking that there might possibly be Wights waiting under them, resulting in jolly hobbit-style adventures.
Mum was obviously born to be a Boden catalogue model.
Fish & chips on the downs wins.
Dad competing for the catalogue pose? Not bad, but needs work.
Get used to this outfit, because from this point on I become very boring and it is practically all you will see me in.
Oh well. At least Danwise thought my arse looked good in it.
Danwise is the physical embodiment of this emoticon: ^____________^
He looks like he's in the middle of explaining something quite interesting to Julian here, and Julian's all, "whatevs bro."
Also: See Danwise jump! Jump, Danwise, jump!
And now for the FOSSIL PIT.
The Isle of Wight is famous for fossils. They turn up all over the place. There's a little pit on the downs that's full of flinty bits, and if you crack them open sometimes you find geodes.
SO!
THE FOSSIL PIT - where men can be men.
MEN needed! The fossil pit needs MEN to throw rocks at eachother and maybe smash them apart!
Check out the wicked action-shot of mum dropping a rock at the back there. Go mum, go! Find a geode!
This rock is poised for the smashing.
We didn't find any geodes :( But as you can see, The Shave found a lovely piece of stone-age bling to adorn his person.
Baby foal!! TOO MUCH, MR KRUGER! TOO MUCH!
Next day - Steephill Cove! The south coast of the Isle of Wight is notorious for all the smuggling that went on in the 17-1800s. It's very piratey.
Dan and Tom were mad salmon when it came to the sea. It was not particularly warm that day, yet - ZOOM! In there before I knew what was happening.
YARR.
Wait for it...
GO!
lmao. (I use that phrase too much.)
Wednesday was Dan and my day to make dinner. So Dan and Tom come back from their run in the morning with - guess what - these two massive fresh-caught and cooked lobsters. I WISH I'd had my camera that morning. it was hilarious - Dan and I were there in the kitched giggling and trying to smash open these totally impenetrable lobsters, bits of shell going all over the room, throwing knives and rocks and whatever the hell else we could find at these bloody things to get them to break open. Tom was just sitting there grinning like a loon spreading the pasty-stuff on bread and laughing heartily at our futile attempts. In the end dad had to get the Landrover pliers out.
They still smell like fish.
Anyhow - the result: lobster salad!
Hands up - who thinks my mum is the cutest thing since Button Moon?
Hehehehe. XD
So. Now we get to the bulk of the post - pictures of me, Danwise and The Shave posing humourously on fibreglass animals.
Yes, you guessed it - it's BLACKGANG CHINE!
YARRRRR!
(By the way, that pirate is about 40ft tall. I don't need to tell you how much it terrified me as a child. Dad used to tease me about putting me in the lantern and not letting me out. This may explain my long-running nervous disposition around very large objects. :p)
I suppose I'd better explain about Blackgang Chine. It's arguably the world's oldest themepark. Some Victorian dude decided it'd be cool if he made a load of water-gardens and attractions on the Chine site (NB: - a chine is a very steep and narrow gorge carved out by a stream). It kind of mutated over the years into the bizarre forresty trail with little subsections, like Dinosaur Land, Nursery Land, Fantasy Land etc, most of which are just full of their respective fibreglass models and speakers hidden in the trees. You just kind of... stumble across them.
Plus, they built it on one of the worst landslip sites in the country - about 5 metres of it disappear every year - so bits keep falling into the sea, and they have to keep rescuing the odd dinosaur or dragon that's fallen down the cliff. XD
You can see how close it is to the edge here.
For us, of course, it is merely a brilliant excuse to take a camera and be as puerile as humanly possible.
THE BEST ATTRACTION IN THE ISLE OF WIGHT:
We had this whole big thing where this model grandfather clock and 30-year-old soft-toy mouse that played "Hickory-Dickory-Dock" was the best the Isle of Wight to offer. That the island would keep eroding and eroding away, and eventually this would be all that was left... until it sunk, and you could just hear the tune coming up out of the water.
:D
Dan said later that this one looked like a papparazzi shot. "Band members of Cats in the Alley, hanging out in their own personal water-gardens."
Here are Dan and Tom violating a stegosaurus.
Here are Dan and Tom contemplating how to violate the dinosaur equivalent of a hamster in a blanket.
Here are Dan and Tom spit-roasting a lion.
Here are Dan and Tom spit-roasting a lioncub.
WILL IT NEVER END!?
Don't look at me. I revert you to the disclaimer at the beginning of the Blackgang Chine section.
WARNING - SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN THIS PLACE WILL TURN YOU INTO THIS:
Has someone stuffed a tissue up her unmentionables? Shocking.
ANYWAY. Now you can watch me and The Shave trying to mount a fibreglass zebra. Aren't you lucky?
Tom's attempt...
My attempt...
Tom succeeds!
...I fail.
Shuttup. It's harder than it looks. TWSSLN!
That zebra looks uncomfortable with the situation.
Sooooo yeah. Now you get to see everyone's two favourite boys thrusting on a space-rocket.
It was just... I came out of the shop with some more batteries for my camera and there they were, like Brian Slade and Curt Wilde on the best of days. I absolutely pissed myself laughing. All these kids were milling around and there's these too, swinging away.
Good times.
Now a set of pictures that will prove that for the most part, visiting Blackgang Chine is like watching Labyrinth on a bad LSD trip.
You know this guy's going to haunt your dreams tonight.
He looks a bit like Brian Blessed.
Hee.
Also, see Tom being a sprightly puck here. There was this flute music being piped out all over the place. It made us all pixielike.
Rumpus Mansion!
I thought my internetual friends might be amused by this, since my online name is Rumple.
The three witches in their witchy kitchen.
This one looks like McKenzie Crook.
Donatella Versace!?
Oops. My mistake.
Cowboy Town! Kind of. And to begin: a sound piece of advice for everyone.
*tch* Danwise is such a scamp. Always getting into funny little scrapes.
The sheer look of terror on this model's face is hilarious. WTF Dan, what did you do to her!?
Next up: Fairy Castle!
Let's play Spot The Shave. It's like Where's Wally, complete with the stripy shirt! I have to admit, though, I have made it rather easy for you all.
ROFL chibi Dan. Look at his little grin.
Wearing the satisfied looks of people who have just spend a good few hours buggering about in a theme park.
Although Tom wasn't satisfied and had to sneak into the actual Chine before we left.
In the pub afterwards: cute mum and dad ^_^
So we're pissing about with Julian's camera, which is much more expensive and better with mine, and we come up with this. Look carefully. Notice anything? I think it's rather romantic. But then, I would.
Same effect; gayer ghost. You can't say you weren't expecting this. Also, notice how Dan is trying desperately not to laugh XD
Next up - meal at the Bonchurch Manor, including THE BONCHURCH MAN!
The Man requires some explanation. Basically, last year we went to this great South Indian restaurant in a hotel in Bonchurch, and the owner was this really nice friendly man who came round to talk to everyone and ask how we were getting on. Julian quite liked him. So, of course, by the time we get to this time round, the Man has become a legend totally blown out of proportion, Julian is branded hopelessly in love with him, And Tom is positively quivering with excitement at the thought of meeting this guy. I believe songs were also composed during the week, the lyrics being mainly "Julian" and "The Man". Dan and Tom will be able to elaborate on this.
So naturally, we were all as excited as excited pigeons to see him.
Got to look our best for The Man!
The Manor.
Dan's yumalicious Indian soup.
Battered vegetable strips with coconut dip. Best starter ever.
I love this one, it's so typically restauranty - the waiter's bustling around and mum and Tom are looking expectantly at their plates ^_^
Dad amused himself by playing with glasses for most of the evening.
Green wine! Awesome. Never had green wine before. It was good.
The Manor has pretty lights, which distracted me for at least ten minutes. I'm like a magpie for shinies. XD
The Man!!!
I cornered him on the way out and asked for his picture. He looked a bit rabbit-in-the-headlights but said yes anyway, probably just to get rid of me.
Notice his t-shirt says "No special privileges". Julian's dreams are shattered :(
So, Saturday is Landslip Walk Day. Very pretty, but keeps having to be shifted because bits keep falling into the sea. I estimate three more weeks before the Isle of Wight disappears ENTIRELY.
I don't try to pose all the time. I promise. It just... happens. Um.
Devil's Chimney. (TWSSLN.)
The wishing-seat. We sit on it and wish every year. Mum looks a bit serious here - maybe her wish is SERIOUS BUSINESS?
Landslip Cafe.
Barbecue in the evening!
Dan is barbiemeister.
I have no idea wha got mum so giggly here, but her laughing is hilarious. It is so contagious. She set us all off. Every time I look at this picture I start laughing again.
Last day! To my utter glee, it was really stormy and windy, so we headed down to the sea-front to get rather wet.
It was... very windy. ^_^
Mum looks like she's taking off XD
As if by magic, by the time we got to the ferry back across the Solent, it's as calm as a pond. Lucky us!
So, bye Isle of Wight for another year. :(
Lol, it's taken me four whole days to do this post. Surely there's an easier way!?
I'm not tackling my Graduation post for at least a week :p
Over and out. xxx