"It's okay to cry."
Title: none
Genre: Fluff, Tearjerker
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Heechul/OC
Summary: Heechul misses Hangeng. Sadness, silence, and then fluff ensues.
Rating: PG13 for 2 swears
This idea has been floating in my head for a really long time. It's in first person... Enjoy anyway ♥
I walked up to the dorm and entered the lock code without even thinking, like it was engraved in my brain. Knocking lightly on the door as I opened it, I slipped my shoes off and squeezed in. Heechul was sitting alone in his pink pajamas playing video games, his back to me. Being the stealthy ninja that I was, I figured he didn't hear me come in.
"I'm here," I called out lightly.
Heechul took no notice of this and continued to play whatever game he was playing. That was odd, considering even if he had his full concentration on something else, he always had a remark to make about me coming to the dorms. "You'll get caught one of these days and all of Super Junior will have a scandal!" "How come you're wearing that?! You'll catch a cold!" "How come you're wearing that?! It looks terrible!" "Stop distracting me from my game and cook something!"
But this time, nothing. Nothing at all.
I decided he must just be really into the fighter game, so I crept in and watched. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't realize he was still just sitting there, staring blankly even though he had lost, until a few minutes later.
Standing a few feet away from him, I looked down, trying to make eye contact. Still no response. I bent down, my knees cracking, and sat beside him. When I finally caught a glimpse of his face, he looked... indescribable. He showed hints of tiredness, depression, sadness, and just flat out exhaustion, though somehow he managed to conceal most of this to the unsuspecting eye. His eyes looked a little red, almost as though he had been crying.
"Heechul, are you alright?"
He kept his stoic manner and simply replied, "I'm fine."
"I'm not that stupid. Tell me what's wrong."
"No. Nothing's wrong. Everything is fine." His voice cracked as he said this, and that was a dead giveaway he was holding back tears.
I don't say or ask much, but I have learned a lot about people just by watching them. The best way to get Heechul to open up would be to imitate him. So, I looked straight ahead, kept my tone of voice flat and unconcerned, and like him, kept a stoic manner.
"I can tell when you're upset. If you don't want to talk about it, okay, I get it. I'll just sit here." I did my best to stay monotonous, without checking up on the distressed man next to me.
Silence ensued for a few minutes. I scanned the dorms up and down for signs of fighting, but nothing looked out of place. In fact, everything looked perfect and normal. Judging by the lack of dirty dishes, most of the other members had been out all day, doing something fun. Something persuaded Heechul to stay home, but for once I couldn't put my finger on it. I leaned back on my hands and tried to relax a little, but for such an empty atmosphere, there was quite a bit of pent-up tension in the air. The silence began to get so thick that it seemed as though the ticking of the clock on the wall was plugged into a speaker. Tick. Tick. Tick. And so there the two of us sat, each looking straight ahead, the silence dragging on, and on, and on.
Until Heechul finally opened up a little.
"I miss Hankyung." He said, still staying expressionless.
"That's understandable." I nodded.
"He was my best friend. One of my only friends. He couldn't be here for this comeback, and now I won't be able to see him for two years." Bit by bit, his wall of un-expression broke down. I wasn't entirely sure what to say, so I said nothing and kept looking ahead.
"He would've liked you too," Heechul continued, "you're pretty, and kind, you eat a lot so he could feed you all the fried rice he wanted," he let out a depressed, cracked chuckle, going on again, "you two also have some things in common. You're both ballet dancers, and were once foreigners."
"Were once foreigners?" I peeked over at Heechul, and I could almost see bits of his cold outer shell crumbling to the floor.
"Yes," his voice squeaked, on the brink of tears, "when Hankyung first came to Korea, he didn't know anyone and had few friends. But then he became part of our family, and was no longer a foreigner. He was one of us. The same goes for you. When your father started working for us, you were just another fan. You had no friends in Korea. But little by little, we started to know you, and you became part of our family too."
I was shocked. Never once had I ever heard something that moving, that touching, that... humane from Kim Heechul. Every so often I heard a compliment, or something cute, but never anything like that. I guess you could say I was flattered, but at the same time... I couldn't begin to describe how hurt Heechul probably was. I began to get lost in my thoughts again, until I realized that if I didn't say something, Heechul would close up again, and that would do no good.
Finally, I turned my head, and saw a semi-broken Heechul sitting next to me. It was like he had been stripped of everything. There wasn't an ounce of hope or confidence left.
"Heechul... It's okay to cry. It's manlier to cry than it is to keep sadness to your self."
He scoffed, though it was half-assed. "Of course, someone like you would think that."
I bit my tongue and held back a "What was that supposed to mean?!" because it would only start an argument. Instead, I said, "I know you do your best to seem strong, but sometimes it isn't worth it. Letting it out is healthy. But if you don't want the other guys to know, you can come to my hotel room... and cry, or bitch, or whatever. Just the two of us. No one else has to know. We can even have ice cream and watch movies after." I did my best to give a reassuring smile.
Tears welled in Heechul's eyes. "Do you... really mean that?" He looked at me for the first time this entire night.
"Yeah, I do."
He broke down. He just broke down sobbing. He let his head fall into his hands and just sat there, shaking and crying silently. I put a hand on his back and gently rubbed up and down for a little, but then I shifted him so his head was in my lap. I stroked his long black hair over and over.
"It's okay, it's okay. Everything is going to be fine." I just kept saying reassuring words. Heechul's only response was irregular breathing and and hiccups. I leaned down to look at his face. "I'm going to make sure that you get to see Hankyung before you enlist. Us two will take a trip to China. Does that sound like a plan?"
It took a few moments for Heechul to regain his speaking ability, but when he did, he replied, "I'd like that a lot. You promise?"
I nodded. "Promise."
Heechul snuggled into my lap more, and stayed silent for a few more minutes.
"Tae-eul?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I come to your hotel room tomorrow, and watch American movies with you?"
"Sure."
Heechul silenced again, this time looking deep in thought.
"And Tae-eul?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"No problem."
He looked up to me, rolled off my lap, and sat up. For the first time the entire night, he smiled. It was a little broken, but it was genuine. I ruffled his already-askew hair and gave him a much needed hug. Then I stood up, tossing my coat aside. I lent Heechul a hand to stand up.
"So, have you gotten dressed at all today? Possibly eaten anything?"
He laughed. "No, actually... I haven't."
I looked at the clock. 9:30 PM.
"You should eat something. Wanna order pizza?"
"That wouldn't be a bad idea."
I reached over to the side table for Heechul's phone, and was surprise back-hugged. He rested his head on my shoulder.
"You're really one of the nicest people I have ever met. Thank you, for being you," he hesitated. "I... I... I..."
I raised my eyebrows questioningly.
"I... I really love you."
That's a first. We aren't dating. We don't have any relationship of that sort at all. Then it hit me. I really loved him too. It may not be quite the romantic relationship people expect when it comes to love, but we clicked. And we cared about each other. Almost like... soul mates, yet almost also like brother and sister... and also a couple. We didn't have to be dating to have that certain feeling of closeness. It was just there.
"I really love you, too, Heechul."
He wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed tight. Finally, I had the heart to peel him off of me, but he wouldn't give in.
"Yah! Do you want pizza or not?" I was cracking up.
"...m-maybe..." he stuttered in between his laughs.
"Aish. Either way you're gonna have to get off of me at some point!"
"No I don't."
"Yes you do. What would all the others think if they walked in on you clinging to me like this?" I craned my neck to see him.
"I doubt they would think anything of it. If anything they might be jealous and want to be in my place."
"That's awfully sweet, but I'm hungry. I'm ordering pizza. Get off." I gave him a peck on the cheek before tossing him aside, and ordering the pizza - half an hour later than I expected.
Heechul got up to grab a bottle of water as I sat on the couch.
"So... Does this make you my girlfriend now?" He asked as he sat down next to me, slinging his arm around my shoulder.
A/N: Hope you liked the ending ^-^
Genre: Fluff, Tearjerker
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Heechul/OC
Summary: Heechul misses Hangeng. Sadness, silence, and then fluff ensues.
Rating: PG13 for 2 swears
This idea has been floating in my head for a really long time. It's in first person... Enjoy anyway ♥
I walked up to the dorm and entered the lock code without even thinking, like it was engraved in my brain. Knocking lightly on the door as I opened it, I slipped my shoes off and squeezed in. Heechul was sitting alone in his pink pajamas playing video games, his back to me. Being the stealthy ninja that I was, I figured he didn't hear me come in.
"I'm here," I called out lightly.
Heechul took no notice of this and continued to play whatever game he was playing. That was odd, considering even if he had his full concentration on something else, he always had a remark to make about me coming to the dorms. "You'll get caught one of these days and all of Super Junior will have a scandal!" "How come you're wearing that?! You'll catch a cold!" "How come you're wearing that?! It looks terrible!" "Stop distracting me from my game and cook something!"
But this time, nothing. Nothing at all.
I decided he must just be really into the fighter game, so I crept in and watched. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't realize he was still just sitting there, staring blankly even though he had lost, until a few minutes later.
Standing a few feet away from him, I looked down, trying to make eye contact. Still no response. I bent down, my knees cracking, and sat beside him. When I finally caught a glimpse of his face, he looked... indescribable. He showed hints of tiredness, depression, sadness, and just flat out exhaustion, though somehow he managed to conceal most of this to the unsuspecting eye. His eyes looked a little red, almost as though he had been crying.
"Heechul, are you alright?"
He kept his stoic manner and simply replied, "I'm fine."
"I'm not that stupid. Tell me what's wrong."
"No. Nothing's wrong. Everything is fine." His voice cracked as he said this, and that was a dead giveaway he was holding back tears.
I don't say or ask much, but I have learned a lot about people just by watching them. The best way to get Heechul to open up would be to imitate him. So, I looked straight ahead, kept my tone of voice flat and unconcerned, and like him, kept a stoic manner.
"I can tell when you're upset. If you don't want to talk about it, okay, I get it. I'll just sit here." I did my best to stay monotonous, without checking up on the distressed man next to me.
Silence ensued for a few minutes. I scanned the dorms up and down for signs of fighting, but nothing looked out of place. In fact, everything looked perfect and normal. Judging by the lack of dirty dishes, most of the other members had been out all day, doing something fun. Something persuaded Heechul to stay home, but for once I couldn't put my finger on it. I leaned back on my hands and tried to relax a little, but for such an empty atmosphere, there was quite a bit of pent-up tension in the air. The silence began to get so thick that it seemed as though the ticking of the clock on the wall was plugged into a speaker. Tick. Tick. Tick. And so there the two of us sat, each looking straight ahead, the silence dragging on, and on, and on.
Until Heechul finally opened up a little.
"I miss Hankyung." He said, still staying expressionless.
"That's understandable." I nodded.
"He was my best friend. One of my only friends. He couldn't be here for this comeback, and now I won't be able to see him for two years." Bit by bit, his wall of un-expression broke down. I wasn't entirely sure what to say, so I said nothing and kept looking ahead.
"He would've liked you too," Heechul continued, "you're pretty, and kind, you eat a lot so he could feed you all the fried rice he wanted," he let out a depressed, cracked chuckle, going on again, "you two also have some things in common. You're both ballet dancers, and were once foreigners."
"Were once foreigners?" I peeked over at Heechul, and I could almost see bits of his cold outer shell crumbling to the floor.
"Yes," his voice squeaked, on the brink of tears, "when Hankyung first came to Korea, he didn't know anyone and had few friends. But then he became part of our family, and was no longer a foreigner. He was one of us. The same goes for you. When your father started working for us, you were just another fan. You had no friends in Korea. But little by little, we started to know you, and you became part of our family too."
I was shocked. Never once had I ever heard something that moving, that touching, that... humane from Kim Heechul. Every so often I heard a compliment, or something cute, but never anything like that. I guess you could say I was flattered, but at the same time... I couldn't begin to describe how hurt Heechul probably was. I began to get lost in my thoughts again, until I realized that if I didn't say something, Heechul would close up again, and that would do no good.
Finally, I turned my head, and saw a semi-broken Heechul sitting next to me. It was like he had been stripped of everything. There wasn't an ounce of hope or confidence left.
"Heechul... It's okay to cry. It's manlier to cry than it is to keep sadness to your self."
He scoffed, though it was half-assed. "Of course, someone like you would think that."
I bit my tongue and held back a "What was that supposed to mean?!" because it would only start an argument. Instead, I said, "I know you do your best to seem strong, but sometimes it isn't worth it. Letting it out is healthy. But if you don't want the other guys to know, you can come to my hotel room... and cry, or bitch, or whatever. Just the two of us. No one else has to know. We can even have ice cream and watch movies after." I did my best to give a reassuring smile.
Tears welled in Heechul's eyes. "Do you... really mean that?" He looked at me for the first time this entire night.
"Yeah, I do."
He broke down. He just broke down sobbing. He let his head fall into his hands and just sat there, shaking and crying silently. I put a hand on his back and gently rubbed up and down for a little, but then I shifted him so his head was in my lap. I stroked his long black hair over and over.
"It's okay, it's okay. Everything is going to be fine." I just kept saying reassuring words. Heechul's only response was irregular breathing and and hiccups. I leaned down to look at his face. "I'm going to make sure that you get to see Hankyung before you enlist. Us two will take a trip to China. Does that sound like a plan?"
It took a few moments for Heechul to regain his speaking ability, but when he did, he replied, "I'd like that a lot. You promise?"
I nodded. "Promise."
Heechul snuggled into my lap more, and stayed silent for a few more minutes.
"Tae-eul?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I come to your hotel room tomorrow, and watch American movies with you?"
"Sure."
Heechul silenced again, this time looking deep in thought.
"And Tae-eul?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
"No problem."
He looked up to me, rolled off my lap, and sat up. For the first time the entire night, he smiled. It was a little broken, but it was genuine. I ruffled his already-askew hair and gave him a much needed hug. Then I stood up, tossing my coat aside. I lent Heechul a hand to stand up.
"So, have you gotten dressed at all today? Possibly eaten anything?"
He laughed. "No, actually... I haven't."
I looked at the clock. 9:30 PM.
"You should eat something. Wanna order pizza?"
"That wouldn't be a bad idea."
I reached over to the side table for Heechul's phone, and was surprise back-hugged. He rested his head on my shoulder.
"You're really one of the nicest people I have ever met. Thank you, for being you," he hesitated. "I... I... I..."
I raised my eyebrows questioningly.
"I... I really love you."
That's a first. We aren't dating. We don't have any relationship of that sort at all. Then it hit me. I really loved him too. It may not be quite the romantic relationship people expect when it comes to love, but we clicked. And we cared about each other. Almost like... soul mates, yet almost also like brother and sister... and also a couple. We didn't have to be dating to have that certain feeling of closeness. It was just there.
"I really love you, too, Heechul."
He wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed tight. Finally, I had the heart to peel him off of me, but he wouldn't give in.
"Yah! Do you want pizza or not?" I was cracking up.
"...m-maybe..." he stuttered in between his laughs.
"Aish. Either way you're gonna have to get off of me at some point!"
"No I don't."
"Yes you do. What would all the others think if they walked in on you clinging to me like this?" I craned my neck to see him.
"I doubt they would think anything of it. If anything they might be jealous and want to be in my place."
"That's awfully sweet, but I'm hungry. I'm ordering pizza. Get off." I gave him a peck on the cheek before tossing him aside, and ordering the pizza - half an hour later than I expected.
Heechul got up to grab a bottle of water as I sat on the couch.
"So... Does this make you my girlfriend now?" He asked as he sat down next to me, slinging his arm around my shoulder.
A/N: Hope you liked the ending ^-^