FIC: A Better Way to Fall
Title: A Better Way to Fall
Fandom: RPFS, K-Pop, Nine Muses
Pairing: Hyuna/Sera
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: "Love, I realized, was something your spine memorized. There was nothing you could do about that."
AO3
Exactly three avoidable, stupid, frustrating things happen the day she finds out. The neighbors, or their friends, or whoever, leave their things strewn all over the already cramped hallway everyone has to share. It couldn't have been garbage because if it was it would rightfully be in the garbage and not in the way when she tries to get to her apartment without tripping. The fact that she has both arms wrapped around bags and bags of groceries is no one's business but her own.
If there's a way to get all her things up in just one trip then she's going to do it. What's the point of all those arm exercises if she can't even carry some measly grocery bags? (To stay employed, her mind barks at her. To be ideal.)
The door slams behind her, accidentally or otherwise, and the cats are understandably startled. A nagging feeling lurks beneath her skin, a prickling sensation that had started as soon as she left the store.
She makes it about three steps into the apartment when she feels her foot knocking something over.
Moya doesn't make a sound, just looks up expectantly at her.
What little water was left in the bowl spills all over the floor. She'd be proud of them figuring out how to push the water bowl near the door when they need more on any other day except today.
"Don't look so smug," she mutters and steps around the water pooling on the floor.
Moya lets out a non-committal mewl and follows her into the kitchen.
She stands in the middle of the kitchen for a moment, then another, then another. The grocery bags are still in her arms and starting to feel heavy, but not as heavy as the sinking feeling in her chest. She knows she didn't forget anything at the store, she always makes a list.
The paper handle on one of the bags rips. She should have seen it coming, she could almost feel the paper giving away and tearing. Food and supplies scatter all over her kitchen floor and the dull ache in her chest mocks her with its persistence.
*
"Someone should really clean up the mess out there," Sera says as she lets herself in.
It's probably really stupid and dangerous to not lock her door. Or so everyone keeps telling her. But then again Sera is the only one who knows she keeps the door unlocked during the day so it's probably fine. Hyunjoo would have said that's what they'd say in the papers if she was ever burgled or murdered.
Would have.
*
"Making lunch?" Sera settles herself at the kitchen table to watch Hyuna pick up her groceries.
"Yeah, I've got some nice floor apples if you want any."
Sera pays her no mind, just hops off the chair and inspects the other bags, presumably for meat.
*
Sera ends up making the both of them lunch while Hyuna puts away the rest of her groceries.
It's nice having someone do something without being asked to, and it's nicer that Sera takes it upon herself to invite herself over at all hours of the day. It's almost domestic the way Sera hums to herself while chopping vegetables and Hyuna helps out where she can.
She's so preoccupied with the way Sera fusses in the kitchen and keeps the conversation going-even when Hyuna does little more than grunt in response-that she doesn't give a second thought to the way Sera frets. If she did, she'd find something off about the way Sera almost looks like she's fidgeting.
Sera's antsy but she never fidgets-that would imply she has something to be nervous about.
*
It's not until Sera leaves-at well past midnight-that Hyuna realizes it.
The dull ache that had been bothering her all afternoon comes back like a gentle reminder. Like it wasn't finished with her yet.
If Sera had anything to do with the ache disappearing the whole time she was there Hyuna doesn't give it a second thought.
*
Sera's visits become more frequent and each time she looks more nervous than the last.
It's unlike her to be anything less than sure and steadfast in everything she does. Sera's unease puts Hyuna on edge.
"Maybe we should go out, see a movie or something," Sera says one day, fingers fiddling with the fringe on her throw pillow.
There's this moment-a look she can't quite place. It's gone as soon as it appears and Hyuna tries not to make a habit out of trying to figure out what goes on in Sera's head.
"We could watch something here," she suggests when Sera doesn't say anything else.
"Sure." Sera lets out a breath but it doesn't seem to be one of relief. They were never the kind of people who held their breaths around each other and she's not sure when it all changed.
*
Each time Sera leaves, the twinge in her chest returns. It almost feels tangible now, as if it could reach out and latch on to Sera.
Each time Sera returns, the ache withdraws into itself and Hyuna feels like the one looking to hang on to Sera.
Something happening more than once doesn't make it fate, but it can't be a coincidence either.
*
"We need to talk about this, right?"
No preamble, no warning, no indication of Sera looking like this is the end of the world. She just shows up one day and lays it all on the table. Not that beating around the bush was doing them any favors until this point.
"Right," Hyuna agrees and looks around the apartment for something do to. This isn't a conversation she can have without something in her hands. It's not that her hands are shaking. Years of training, or life, or just plain old self preservation have taught her how to keep her emotions in check. Having something to fidget with makes it feel like the serious matter at hand is an afterthought.
Sera stares her down, doesn't offer anything more on the subject but doesn't look like she expects Hyuna to add anything either.
Eventually Sera blows her bangs out of her eyes with a huff. "This is so stupid," she says before turning around and leaving as quickly as she came.
Hyuna's chest feels like it could explode but the rational part of her mind knows it won't. She's done enough research on this to know that it doesn't have to be permanent. Plenty of people live full lives without being tied down. There's no such thing as the one.
After all, no one's ever died from a broken heart.
*
In space, when white dwarves have a companion and accumulate enough material, they can form an explosion so bright that it outshines the entire galaxy, if only for a moment.
The speed in which Sera barrels back in her apartment isn't even a fraction of that of a supernova but Hyuna wouldn't know it from the way Sera crashes into her. There's no logical reason for her to think she has any real muscle memory associated with this but the way Sera angles against her just so and how she tugs on the back of Hyuna's neck to make her lean down so she can pry her mouth open-
Well. It's familiar in all the right ways and Hyuna stops thinking about it so much when Sera leads her blindly towards a couch.
*
They don't talk much about it afterwards, or at all.
Things go back to normal and everyone sees each other about the same as they always did: at practice and lamenting schedules.
But then practices start to be less and less frequent until there's nothing to do at all and Hyuna goes back to holing up in her apartment.
*
The ache in her chest comes back, it doesn't hurt so much as it is annoying. Like a constant reminder about something that should be there.
*
Hyuna never had any expectations about this-whatever this is.
They both have their own lives, regardless of what goes on as a group. She knows Sera has aspirations, Hyuna does too. She knows neither of them will be doing this for the rest of their lives regardless of what they say in public.
And she knows exactly what Sera must be feeling-chained. Like this is a burden. Like Hyuna chose for this to happen and mess up whatever life plans they all had.
Far be it from her to make anyone feel obligated. It's unfair to Sera for her to demand anything and it's even more unfair to Hyuna to have any expectations at all.
*
(Had there been any choice in the matter she probably would have let it play out in the same exact way. Go figure.)
*
However long it takes her to knit a sweater for Hoya is exactly how long it takes for Sera to make up her mind. She finds out the same way everyone else does, abruptly, like a slap to the face.
Sera leaves like she's the only one who has any say in this. She leaves and the love running through Hyuna's veins feels like poison.
*
Supernovas don't just explode, they collapse within their cores.
Fandom: RPFS, K-Pop, Nine Muses
Pairing: Hyuna/Sera
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: "Love, I realized, was something your spine memorized. There was nothing you could do about that."
AO3
Exactly three avoidable, stupid, frustrating things happen the day she finds out. The neighbors, or their friends, or whoever, leave their things strewn all over the already cramped hallway everyone has to share. It couldn't have been garbage because if it was it would rightfully be in the garbage and not in the way when she tries to get to her apartment without tripping. The fact that she has both arms wrapped around bags and bags of groceries is no one's business but her own.
If there's a way to get all her things up in just one trip then she's going to do it. What's the point of all those arm exercises if she can't even carry some measly grocery bags? (To stay employed, her mind barks at her. To be ideal.)
The door slams behind her, accidentally or otherwise, and the cats are understandably startled. A nagging feeling lurks beneath her skin, a prickling sensation that had started as soon as she left the store.
She makes it about three steps into the apartment when she feels her foot knocking something over.
Moya doesn't make a sound, just looks up expectantly at her.
What little water was left in the bowl spills all over the floor. She'd be proud of them figuring out how to push the water bowl near the door when they need more on any other day except today.
"Don't look so smug," she mutters and steps around the water pooling on the floor.
Moya lets out a non-committal mewl and follows her into the kitchen.
She stands in the middle of the kitchen for a moment, then another, then another. The grocery bags are still in her arms and starting to feel heavy, but not as heavy as the sinking feeling in her chest. She knows she didn't forget anything at the store, she always makes a list.
The paper handle on one of the bags rips. She should have seen it coming, she could almost feel the paper giving away and tearing. Food and supplies scatter all over her kitchen floor and the dull ache in her chest mocks her with its persistence.
*
"Someone should really clean up the mess out there," Sera says as she lets herself in.
It's probably really stupid and dangerous to not lock her door. Or so everyone keeps telling her. But then again Sera is the only one who knows she keeps the door unlocked during the day so it's probably fine. Hyunjoo would have said that's what they'd say in the papers if she was ever burgled or murdered.
Would have.
*
"Making lunch?" Sera settles herself at the kitchen table to watch Hyuna pick up her groceries.
"Yeah, I've got some nice floor apples if you want any."
Sera pays her no mind, just hops off the chair and inspects the other bags, presumably for meat.
*
Sera ends up making the both of them lunch while Hyuna puts away the rest of her groceries.
It's nice having someone do something without being asked to, and it's nicer that Sera takes it upon herself to invite herself over at all hours of the day. It's almost domestic the way Sera hums to herself while chopping vegetables and Hyuna helps out where she can.
She's so preoccupied with the way Sera fusses in the kitchen and keeps the conversation going-even when Hyuna does little more than grunt in response-that she doesn't give a second thought to the way Sera frets. If she did, she'd find something off about the way Sera almost looks like she's fidgeting.
Sera's antsy but she never fidgets-that would imply she has something to be nervous about.
*
It's not until Sera leaves-at well past midnight-that Hyuna realizes it.
The dull ache that had been bothering her all afternoon comes back like a gentle reminder. Like it wasn't finished with her yet.
If Sera had anything to do with the ache disappearing the whole time she was there Hyuna doesn't give it a second thought.
*
Sera's visits become more frequent and each time she looks more nervous than the last.
It's unlike her to be anything less than sure and steadfast in everything she does. Sera's unease puts Hyuna on edge.
"Maybe we should go out, see a movie or something," Sera says one day, fingers fiddling with the fringe on her throw pillow.
There's this moment-a look she can't quite place. It's gone as soon as it appears and Hyuna tries not to make a habit out of trying to figure out what goes on in Sera's head.
"We could watch something here," she suggests when Sera doesn't say anything else.
"Sure." Sera lets out a breath but it doesn't seem to be one of relief. They were never the kind of people who held their breaths around each other and she's not sure when it all changed.
*
Each time Sera leaves, the twinge in her chest returns. It almost feels tangible now, as if it could reach out and latch on to Sera.
Each time Sera returns, the ache withdraws into itself and Hyuna feels like the one looking to hang on to Sera.
Something happening more than once doesn't make it fate, but it can't be a coincidence either.
*
"We need to talk about this, right?"
No preamble, no warning, no indication of Sera looking like this is the end of the world. She just shows up one day and lays it all on the table. Not that beating around the bush was doing them any favors until this point.
"Right," Hyuna agrees and looks around the apartment for something do to. This isn't a conversation she can have without something in her hands. It's not that her hands are shaking. Years of training, or life, or just plain old self preservation have taught her how to keep her emotions in check. Having something to fidget with makes it feel like the serious matter at hand is an afterthought.
Sera stares her down, doesn't offer anything more on the subject but doesn't look like she expects Hyuna to add anything either.
Eventually Sera blows her bangs out of her eyes with a huff. "This is so stupid," she says before turning around and leaving as quickly as she came.
Hyuna's chest feels like it could explode but the rational part of her mind knows it won't. She's done enough research on this to know that it doesn't have to be permanent. Plenty of people live full lives without being tied down. There's no such thing as the one.
After all, no one's ever died from a broken heart.
*
In space, when white dwarves have a companion and accumulate enough material, they can form an explosion so bright that it outshines the entire galaxy, if only for a moment.
The speed in which Sera barrels back in her apartment isn't even a fraction of that of a supernova but Hyuna wouldn't know it from the way Sera crashes into her. There's no logical reason for her to think she has any real muscle memory associated with this but the way Sera angles against her just so and how she tugs on the back of Hyuna's neck to make her lean down so she can pry her mouth open-
Well. It's familiar in all the right ways and Hyuna stops thinking about it so much when Sera leads her blindly towards a couch.
*
They don't talk much about it afterwards, or at all.
Things go back to normal and everyone sees each other about the same as they always did: at practice and lamenting schedules.
But then practices start to be less and less frequent until there's nothing to do at all and Hyuna goes back to holing up in her apartment.
*
The ache in her chest comes back, it doesn't hurt so much as it is annoying. Like a constant reminder about something that should be there.
*
Hyuna never had any expectations about this-whatever this is.
They both have their own lives, regardless of what goes on as a group. She knows Sera has aspirations, Hyuna does too. She knows neither of them will be doing this for the rest of their lives regardless of what they say in public.
And she knows exactly what Sera must be feeling-chained. Like this is a burden. Like Hyuna chose for this to happen and mess up whatever life plans they all had.
Far be it from her to make anyone feel obligated. It's unfair to Sera for her to demand anything and it's even more unfair to Hyuna to have any expectations at all.
*
(Had there been any choice in the matter she probably would have let it play out in the same exact way. Go figure.)
*
However long it takes her to knit a sweater for Hoya is exactly how long it takes for Sera to make up her mind. She finds out the same way everyone else does, abruptly, like a slap to the face.
Sera leaves like she's the only one who has any say in this. She leaves and the love running through Hyuna's veins feels like poison.
*
Supernovas don't just explode, they collapse within their cores.