SCREAM
I just want to
SCREAM.
I went to my friend Jon's for a few minutes, it wasn't popping yet so I decided to go to Heartwood's. I guess I enjoyed myself. I had a glass of wine and a beer. I communicated shortly with a few people and stared callously at certain persons. Over all I felt pretty lonely, but that's normal for me. I'm trying my hardest, I really am, I just don't know what my place is. I don't even know why I am in the places I go. I fucking... I fucking just feel so goddamn... ugh. I wish I had Sable come with me. I can't keep relying on Sable... Fuck I feel so alone. Tomorrow's supposed to be Furloween and I don't even know if I want to go to that... just like I didn't want to go out tonight... I don't even deserve to go to furloween, I can't afford to, but I'll still sneak in the back and sit at the patio table as always... Pfft I don't even know. Right now I just... erf... I'm just so lonely.
i want to break things right now, i want to break everything, i want to shatter my mirror and throw my shoes. i want to yell and cry and put holes in walls and cut part of myself out of myself and just scream at him and cry at him and find out what the fuck he wants, what the fuck do i have to do to satisfy him, what the fuck could i ever do to make you just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME BE HAPPY, i just want to fucking feel happy.
SCREAM.
I went to my friend Jon's for a few minutes, it wasn't popping yet so I decided to go to Heartwood's. I guess I enjoyed myself. I had a glass of wine and a beer. I communicated shortly with a few people and stared callously at certain persons. Over all I felt pretty lonely, but that's normal for me. I'm trying my hardest, I really am, I just don't know what my place is. I don't even know why I am in the places I go. I fucking... I fucking just feel so goddamn... ugh. I wish I had Sable come with me. I can't keep relying on Sable... Fuck I feel so alone. Tomorrow's supposed to be Furloween and I don't even know if I want to go to that... just like I didn't want to go out tonight... I don't even deserve to go to furloween, I can't afford to, but I'll still sneak in the back and sit at the patio table as always... Pfft I don't even know. Right now I just... erf... I'm just so lonely.
i want to break things right now, i want to break everything, i want to shatter my mirror and throw my shoes. i want to yell and cry and put holes in walls and cut part of myself out of myself and just scream at him and cry at him and find out what the fuck he wants, what the fuck do i have to do to satisfy him, what the fuck could i ever do to make you just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME BE HAPPY, i just want to fucking feel happy.