Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!!
I am a fucking idiot...
-For thinking things would be different 'this time around'
-For thinking I could handle it
-For thinking I could handle the eventual end well so soon after the fact.
At least now I'm armed with... techniques? to deal with my issues thanks to Corine, Delphine and Alex. Though I'm kinda struggling. Halp guise? D:
The problem was -and I will argue this until I'm blue in the face, is not that we weren't compatible. In a way I think we were, I just needed time or perhaps we weren't compatible relationship-wise. It's just I wasn't ready for such a relationship. Wasn't ready to deal with the issues that came up, wasn't ready for someone who needs lots of space... In time I would have settled down all would have been well. and in a way I feel like breaking up was the 'cop out' way of doing things? Instead of working on it. Naturally, I said a lot of stupid fucking things which I shouldn't have and I paid for it. Shit, I wasn't even *feeling* some of the things I was saying I just felt... it was the right thing to say?... I don't know...
Whatever, it's ended now and -due to more stupidity, she doesn't want to talk to me... At least for now.
*sigh*
I disappoint me. I really truly do.
If you're reading, I'm so fucking sorry. For everything.
-For thinking things would be different 'this time around'
-For thinking I could handle it
-For thinking I could handle the eventual end well so soon after the fact.
At least now I'm armed with... techniques? to deal with my issues thanks to Corine, Delphine and Alex. Though I'm kinda struggling. Halp guise? D:
The problem was -and I will argue this until I'm blue in the face, is not that we weren't compatible. In a way I think we were, I just needed time or perhaps we weren't compatible relationship-wise. It's just I wasn't ready for such a relationship. Wasn't ready to deal with the issues that came up, wasn't ready for someone who needs lots of space... In time I would have settled down all would have been well. and in a way I feel like breaking up was the 'cop out' way of doing things? Instead of working on it. Naturally, I said a lot of stupid fucking things which I shouldn't have and I paid for it. Shit, I wasn't even *feeling* some of the things I was saying I just felt... it was the right thing to say?... I don't know...
Whatever, it's ended now and -due to more stupidity, she doesn't want to talk to me... At least for now.
*sigh*
I disappoint me. I really truly do.
If you're reading, I'm so fucking sorry. For everything.