Things to do for an interview...
So today, this knob comes to our office for an interview for a co-op position in the fall, but he had already screwed the pooch in my book....
1. If you can't make your appointment (yesterday), please DON'T CALL. It's not like we don't have a million other things to do for clients that are breathing down our throats, and we can just wonder when you are going to arrive.
2. If you would like to reschedule your interview, please call us and make a new appointment. Or ignore this and FREAKIN SHOW UP OUTTA THE BLUE! (I think my boss went ahead just for the hell of it, the morning was already shot. I personally would have tossed his ass on the street after a nice rant about promptness.)
3. Wear blue jeans... (Yes, you read correctly, he wore blue jeans. Another reason to laugh in his face and tell him to sod off.)
4. If you claim to know web development then make sure to express amazement that somebody coded a site by hand instead of using dreamweaver. It is also a good idea to admit you don't know about the and tags, the align attribute of an image tag, or CSS. (At this point I went back to my desk and tried not to laugh out loud as I pretended to work on a brochure.)
5. You will claim to be "more of a programmer than a web guy". You will have taken an object oriented programming class, however when asked what it means to instantiate an object, you don't know.
6. You must blubber an "I don't know" to answer "What command changes the permissions of a file or directory?" even though your resume says you know UNIX.
7. You must claim you are more of a "business person" when you fail the tech questions and because you have been told so "by other people", and then fail to know about overhead, the average wage of your target position (Web developer in this case, he said 23-25K), and have any ideas about marketing a company. $25/hr is a fair price for custom software development.
8. You must fail #7 and then claim you know more about accounting than business becuase that is what your dad does and you have been around that a lot helping him. You will then proceed to say the rate of depreciation of computer equipment is 100% per year.
We thank you for your interest and will be contacting you shortly with an offer to fsck off and get an education. I swear I'm going to kill the next person studying "programming" at a community college that can't answer the following:
1. What is an NP complete problem?
2. How would you solve a circular reference problem?
3. Which is faster: 2*N+4 vs 4*N
1. If you can't make your appointment (yesterday), please DON'T CALL. It's not like we don't have a million other things to do for clients that are breathing down our throats, and we can just wonder when you are going to arrive.
2. If you would like to reschedule your interview, please call us and make a new appointment. Or ignore this and FREAKIN SHOW UP OUTTA THE BLUE! (I think my boss went ahead just for the hell of it, the morning was already shot. I personally would have tossed his ass on the street after a nice rant about promptness.)
3. Wear blue jeans... (Yes, you read correctly, he wore blue jeans. Another reason to laugh in his face and tell him to sod off.)
4. If you claim to know web development then make sure to express amazement that somebody coded a site by hand instead of using dreamweaver. It is also a good idea to admit you don't know about the and tags, the align attribute of an image tag, or CSS. (At this point I went back to my desk and tried not to laugh out loud as I pretended to work on a brochure.)
5. You will claim to be "more of a programmer than a web guy". You will have taken an object oriented programming class, however when asked what it means to instantiate an object, you don't know.
6. You must blubber an "I don't know" to answer "What command changes the permissions of a file or directory?" even though your resume says you know UNIX.
7. You must claim you are more of a "business person" when you fail the tech questions and because you have been told so "by other people", and then fail to know about overhead, the average wage of your target position (Web developer in this case, he said 23-25K), and have any ideas about marketing a company. $25/hr is a fair price for custom software development.
8. You must fail #7 and then claim you know more about accounting than business becuase that is what your dad does and you have been around that a lot helping him. You will then proceed to say the rate of depreciation of computer equipment is 100% per year.
We thank you for your interest and will be contacting you shortly with an offer to fsck off and get an education. I swear I'm going to kill the next person studying "programming" at a community college that can't answer the following:
1. What is an NP complete problem?
2. How would you solve a circular reference problem?
3. Which is faster: 2*N+4 vs 4*N