The hummer
I stole this from some journal where I promptly closed the tab before looking at the name...
Yes. The Hummer. Or how about a Hummer?
Everyone wants a Hummer. Don't you want a Hummer? I know a place in Marin where you can get a Hummer for cheap. Go to the dealership and ask for Dave, he's practically giving Hummers away. Don't go through the salesperson named Rebecca, though: She's new there, and she doesn't know Hummers. Not like Dave knows Hummers.
At this point in the history of American English, "Hummer" now has two meanings:
* Hummer: An inefficient, brutish, ass-ugly military vehicle that was marketed to --- and bought by --- passive-aggressive honkies as a method of making up for their lack of a real penis.
* Hummer: A method of performing fellatio (sucking dick, for those of you afraid of multisyllabic words).
It's hardly out of line to suggest, then, that the salesmen at a Hummer dealership are a load of cocksuckers, isn't it?
Now then. Dickless yuppie swine, by the thousands, are driving around in vehicles named for a technique of giving head. This cannot have gone unnoticed by the rest of the automotive industry (not to mention Freudian theorists)... The dickless driving vehicles with a name that directly involves dick. In the next few years, watch for the following SUVs to be released:
* Kia or Hyundai will release a "cute-ute" named 'The Quickie'.
* Ford, desperately striving for machismo, will release a Bronco offshoot named the 'Double Penetration'.
* Chrysler's next version of the PT Cruiser (a suggestive name in itself; the man who owns both a Cruiser and a Hummer is a sad figure indeed) will be called the 'Money Shot'.
* GM, not to be outdone, will simply call the next Suburban the 'Wet Horny Sluts Begging For Your Huge Throbbing Cock', or the 'WHSBFYHTC', so that the plaque on the tailgate doesn't extend past the fenders on both sides.
* And Lexus will cut to the chase and name the next 470 'Fuck'.
Great vehicles for true jackoffs.
Yes. The Hummer. Or how about a Hummer?
Everyone wants a Hummer. Don't you want a Hummer? I know a place in Marin where you can get a Hummer for cheap. Go to the dealership and ask for Dave, he's practically giving Hummers away. Don't go through the salesperson named Rebecca, though: She's new there, and she doesn't know Hummers. Not like Dave knows Hummers.
At this point in the history of American English, "Hummer" now has two meanings:
* Hummer: An inefficient, brutish, ass-ugly military vehicle that was marketed to --- and bought by --- passive-aggressive honkies as a method of making up for their lack of a real penis.
* Hummer: A method of performing fellatio (sucking dick, for those of you afraid of multisyllabic words).
It's hardly out of line to suggest, then, that the salesmen at a Hummer dealership are a load of cocksuckers, isn't it?
Now then. Dickless yuppie swine, by the thousands, are driving around in vehicles named for a technique of giving head. This cannot have gone unnoticed by the rest of the automotive industry (not to mention Freudian theorists)... The dickless driving vehicles with a name that directly involves dick. In the next few years, watch for the following SUVs to be released:
* Kia or Hyundai will release a "cute-ute" named 'The Quickie'.
* Ford, desperately striving for machismo, will release a Bronco offshoot named the 'Double Penetration'.
* Chrysler's next version of the PT Cruiser (a suggestive name in itself; the man who owns both a Cruiser and a Hummer is a sad figure indeed) will be called the 'Money Shot'.
* GM, not to be outdone, will simply call the next Suburban the 'Wet Horny Sluts Begging For Your Huge Throbbing Cock', or the 'WHSBFYHTC', so that the plaque on the tailgate doesn't extend past the fenders on both sides.
* And Lexus will cut to the chase and name the next 470 'Fuck'.
Great vehicles for true jackoffs.