(no subject)
I've got strange men in every corner of my house right now, and I'm home by myself with Madison. This is a very uncomfortable feeling.
The hole in my kitchen ceiling is still there, new holes are being cut every time I turn around, and still no answer as to WHEN this shit will be fixed. All I want to do is shower and GO TO FUCK!NG SLEEP!!! But no, I can't. Because my damned shower drain pipe decided to bust in the middle of the night and flood my kitchen, and because the idiots who built my house decided it would be a GRAND idea to build the plumbing first, then build the house around it so it is absolutely impossible to fix the plumbing without tearing half of my house to shit.
Why does it seem like every time you need rest and relaxation in your life... everything that could possibly prevent that, happens? It's total bullshit. All I am asking for is a little bit of peace and quiet at my house so I can relax and enjoy my day with Madison. I thought this weekend/early week would be just that, considering Mike and Anna and the kids are staying in a hotel since "A FUCKING HOLE in the ceiling is too much for Anna to handle"... but nope. Of course not.
And to top it all off, Matt's mom had me in absolute hysterics yesterday. Apparently I am trying to do everything in my power to keep her out of Madison's life. WTF? And APPARENTLY I'm also an unfit mother because I take Madison out of the house with "no clothes on", I don't use baby powder, I don't use baby wipes with alcohol in them and because I'm using my God given DUTY of breastfeeding my child. WELL THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO THAT SHIT:
1. Madison is always fully clothed, if i put any more clothes on her than what I already do, she sweats half to death.
2. Baby powder may be okay for little boys diapers, but girls can get yeast infections and other lovely infections that a 3 week old child should never have to deal with.
3. Alcohol burns. Fuck burning my daughters lady parts.
4. God gave me breasts that produce milk for a reason, it is the absolute BEST thing for an infant to nourish their bodies with... not some inferior scientifically designed fake formula. And excuse the fuck out of me if I want nothing but the best for my daughter, even if it is stressful, time consuming, and a hassle to find a babysitter willing to thaw and heat frozen breast milk.... that's MY choice and MY shoulders weighing down.... not anyone else's.
I appreciate his mom's advice, and I have taken everything she says into consideration full heartedly since day one... but now that she has taken it to this extreme... and was actually hostile and hateful about it, I don't know if I DO want her in Madison's life. Until yesterday, Madison had never been exposed to anything but love and hugs and kisses and affection. Now my daughter has seen and felt hate, and I know she felt it because she screamed bloody murder the entire time his mom was cussing me out.
Now who seems like the unfit mother in this picture? I don't think it's me.
The hole in my kitchen ceiling is still there, new holes are being cut every time I turn around, and still no answer as to WHEN this shit will be fixed. All I want to do is shower and GO TO FUCK!NG SLEEP!!! But no, I can't. Because my damned shower drain pipe decided to bust in the middle of the night and flood my kitchen, and because the idiots who built my house decided it would be a GRAND idea to build the plumbing first, then build the house around it so it is absolutely impossible to fix the plumbing without tearing half of my house to shit.
Why does it seem like every time you need rest and relaxation in your life... everything that could possibly prevent that, happens? It's total bullshit. All I am asking for is a little bit of peace and quiet at my house so I can relax and enjoy my day with Madison. I thought this weekend/early week would be just that, considering Mike and Anna and the kids are staying in a hotel since "A FUCKING HOLE in the ceiling is too much for Anna to handle"... but nope. Of course not.
And to top it all off, Matt's mom had me in absolute hysterics yesterday. Apparently I am trying to do everything in my power to keep her out of Madison's life. WTF? And APPARENTLY I'm also an unfit mother because I take Madison out of the house with "no clothes on", I don't use baby powder, I don't use baby wipes with alcohol in them and because I'm using my God given DUTY of breastfeeding my child. WELL THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO THAT SHIT:
1. Madison is always fully clothed, if i put any more clothes on her than what I already do, she sweats half to death.
2. Baby powder may be okay for little boys diapers, but girls can get yeast infections and other lovely infections that a 3 week old child should never have to deal with.
3. Alcohol burns. Fuck burning my daughters lady parts.
4. God gave me breasts that produce milk for a reason, it is the absolute BEST thing for an infant to nourish their bodies with... not some inferior scientifically designed fake formula. And excuse the fuck out of me if I want nothing but the best for my daughter, even if it is stressful, time consuming, and a hassle to find a babysitter willing to thaw and heat frozen breast milk.... that's MY choice and MY shoulders weighing down.... not anyone else's.
I appreciate his mom's advice, and I have taken everything she says into consideration full heartedly since day one... but now that she has taken it to this extreme... and was actually hostile and hateful about it, I don't know if I DO want her in Madison's life. Until yesterday, Madison had never been exposed to anything but love and hugs and kisses and affection. Now my daughter has seen and felt hate, and I know she felt it because she screamed bloody murder the entire time his mom was cussing me out.
Now who seems like the unfit mother in this picture? I don't think it's me.