I Never Meant To Brag (But I Got Him Where I Want Him) (The Dark Knight)
Title: I Never Meant To Brag (But I Got Him Where I Want Him)
Author: Kate (deanscookie)
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and Joker madness
Category: Slash; Batman/Joker
Word Count: 491
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Batsy and the Joker take a little elevator ride together.
Disclaimer: It belongs to DC and Warner Bros. Dammit.
Notes: This is for prompt #20 I hate you, you bitch. Oddly enough, that prompt inspired something humorous. ;) Beta'd by the classically fabulous papered. Title shamelessly stolen from Paramore.
"I NEVER MEANT TO BRAG (BUT I GOT HIM WHERE I WANT HIM)"
Rocking back on his heels and humming gleefully to himself, the Joker waited for the elevator to reach his floor.
"All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel," he sang under his breath, "the monkey thought it was all in good fun... Pop! Goes the weasel!" The last line was howled maniacally down the deserted hallway, closely followed by the Joker's mad cackle.
Ding.
The Joker stepped forward with a bounce in his step, but froze upon seeing the elevator's passenger.
"Going down?" Batman growled.
The Joker paused, considering, then shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, Batsy, old pal! Thanks a million." He flashed the Dark Knight a sticky sweet smile and boarded the elevator.
Both were silent as the doors slid shut and they began their descent.
After a few moments, the Joker couldn't help himself. "So... come here often?" He winked saucily at the Bat.
"Only when I'm chasing a maniac."
"Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls." The Joker batted his eyes flirtatiously.
Batman was silent.
He sighed impatiently. "Don't you wanna know what I'm doing here?"
"I know you'll get around to telling me soon enough."
"Well," the Joker said, trying to act indignant but dissolving into giggles. "You're right about that." He clapped his hands together eagerly. "You see, Batsy, on the fifty-fourth floor, there is a rather impressive amount of dynamite. And that dynamite is rigged to an alarm clock so that when the clock strikes twelve and the alarm sounds, it will completely demolish Wayne Tower!"
Again, the Bat was silent, simply staring at him.
The Ace of Knaves rolled his eyes in irritation. "And," he continued, "Seeing how it's already eleven fifty-nine, I'm guessing we have about thirty seconds left."
Silence.
"Fine! We'll go down together in a blaze of fire and glory!" The Joker smiled widely. Yes, he rather liked that idea. It was quite poetic, he and the Caped Crusader, dying in each other's arms.
The Joker took a half-step forward, spreading his arms wide to encompass Batman, but froze as a high-pitched ringing filled the car. His smile faded and he crooked a single eyebrow at the Dark Knight.
"What. Is. That." Each word was clipped, and he compulsively licked the corner of his mouth. He didn't like this. Not one little bit.
"Oh right, that," the Bat said, feigning surprise. He reached beneath his cape and pulled out an alarm clock. Both hands were pointing north, and the alarm was ringing loudly. "I probably should have mentioned that before. I took this off a rather measly pile of dynamite upstairs."
The Joker stared at Batman, open-mouthed. How had the blasted Bat gotten around him? He looked around as the elevator dinged again, the doors sliding open to reveal a lobby full of Gotham's finest.
Batman smirked. "Game over, Joker."
And the Joker couldn't help but return his darling Bat's smile as he answered him.
"You bitch."
FINIS.
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Author: Kate (deanscookie)
Rating: PG-13 for mild language and Joker madness
Category: Slash; Batman/Joker
Word Count: 491
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Batsy and the Joker take a little elevator ride together.
Disclaimer: It belongs to DC and Warner Bros. Dammit.
Notes: This is for prompt #20 I hate you, you bitch. Oddly enough, that prompt inspired something humorous. ;) Beta'd by the classically fabulous papered. Title shamelessly stolen from Paramore.
"I NEVER MEANT TO BRAG (BUT I GOT HIM WHERE I WANT HIM)"
Rocking back on his heels and humming gleefully to himself, the Joker waited for the elevator to reach his floor.
"All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel," he sang under his breath, "the monkey thought it was all in good fun... Pop! Goes the weasel!" The last line was howled maniacally down the deserted hallway, closely followed by the Joker's mad cackle.
Ding.
The Joker stepped forward with a bounce in his step, but froze upon seeing the elevator's passenger.
"Going down?" Batman growled.
The Joker paused, considering, then shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, Batsy, old pal! Thanks a million." He flashed the Dark Knight a sticky sweet smile and boarded the elevator.
Both were silent as the doors slid shut and they began their descent.
After a few moments, the Joker couldn't help himself. "So... come here often?" He winked saucily at the Bat.
"Only when I'm chasing a maniac."
"Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls." The Joker batted his eyes flirtatiously.
Batman was silent.
He sighed impatiently. "Don't you wanna know what I'm doing here?"
"I know you'll get around to telling me soon enough."
"Well," the Joker said, trying to act indignant but dissolving into giggles. "You're right about that." He clapped his hands together eagerly. "You see, Batsy, on the fifty-fourth floor, there is a rather impressive amount of dynamite. And that dynamite is rigged to an alarm clock so that when the clock strikes twelve and the alarm sounds, it will completely demolish Wayne Tower!"
Again, the Bat was silent, simply staring at him.
The Ace of Knaves rolled his eyes in irritation. "And," he continued, "Seeing how it's already eleven fifty-nine, I'm guessing we have about thirty seconds left."
Silence.
"Fine! We'll go down together in a blaze of fire and glory!" The Joker smiled widely. Yes, he rather liked that idea. It was quite poetic, he and the Caped Crusader, dying in each other's arms.
The Joker took a half-step forward, spreading his arms wide to encompass Batman, but froze as a high-pitched ringing filled the car. His smile faded and he crooked a single eyebrow at the Dark Knight.
"What. Is. That." Each word was clipped, and he compulsively licked the corner of his mouth. He didn't like this. Not one little bit.
"Oh right, that," the Bat said, feigning surprise. He reached beneath his cape and pulled out an alarm clock. Both hands were pointing north, and the alarm was ringing loudly. "I probably should have mentioned that before. I took this off a rather measly pile of dynamite upstairs."
The Joker stared at Batman, open-mouthed. How had the blasted Bat gotten around him? He looked around as the elevator dinged again, the doors sliding open to reveal a lobby full of Gotham's finest.
Batman smirked. "Game over, Joker."
And the Joker couldn't help but return his darling Bat's smile as he answered him.
"You bitch."
FINIS.
• Feedback is yummy, sparkly love. <3
• Like it? Want more? Friend it!