Fucked up
So I am posting this from my bedroom, via cellie. partially because I am wide awake, part because I need to.
I feel so fucked up, as the title suggests... I am unable to really express my feelings... I am very much depressed, infact I am moved to tears as I type this away. It's not unlike any other day. I suppose... infact I am hard pressed to find a day where I am not at one point or another tearing up... I am not really sure why, but lately I can't seem to live without feeling like the lowliest peice of shit on the Earth... my life is by most means normal... I just can't help but feel depressed. I have no idea what is wrong... I just know something is... I can't help but cry at night, or when I am alone... I feel out of control in my on body and it is getting harder to control... I can't even begin to explain it, but I can't go on like this much longer... Maybe it's my genes... but I am usually able to self medicate myself into normalcy... but maybe not this time... I think I might finally need something to correct myself... because I am sick of waking up with a wet pillow from crying to myself... moreover, I am sick of waking up at all...
I feel so fucked up, as the title suggests... I am unable to really express my feelings... I am very much depressed, infact I am moved to tears as I type this away. It's not unlike any other day. I suppose... infact I am hard pressed to find a day where I am not at one point or another tearing up... I am not really sure why, but lately I can't seem to live without feeling like the lowliest peice of shit on the Earth... my life is by most means normal... I just can't help but feel depressed. I have no idea what is wrong... I just know something is... I can't help but cry at night, or when I am alone... I feel out of control in my on body and it is getting harder to control... I can't even begin to explain it, but I can't go on like this much longer... Maybe it's my genes... but I am usually able to self medicate myself into normalcy... but maybe not this time... I think I might finally need something to correct myself... because I am sick of waking up with a wet pillow from crying to myself... moreover, I am sick of waking up at all...