ok...you all better read this...
im making this quite large as to make it very very obvious.
i am not taking part in the discussion/arguement thats going on currently in my journal. i personally feel, that no one should have a problem with anyone, and maybe, just maybe, if everyone quit being so guarded, things might be just a bit better. i dont want to lose any one, but it seems like i really dont havea choice in the matter, given that in order for me to make one group of people happy, i have to forsake the other. i refuse to choose sides during any of this, and i wont ever. i want all of you to be a part of my life, every one. i care about all of my new friends and my old friends equally. i wish youd all get along, but i guess we cant have that. i just really think that if you all could jsut sit down, and be nice to one another, you might realize how silly all of this is, on both parts. i know i have.
as far as ashley and i are concerned, i respect all of your opinions. but you also have to respect my actions. all of you have only heard one side of the story, and that is completely my fault.its alot easier to complain about every little thing that bothers you, than telling everyone about the things that make you happy. youve never heard about the good times, that i explained in this entry that everyone is so up in arms over.i mean, i love this girl.and i have for a long time. im not going to give up on her, if we are both willing to work things out. i wouldnt tell anyone to do that. ever. if we both feel that we want to try again, you all need to respect that
. i know that in giving advice, ive told you all at times to just walk away. ive told you to do exactly what im not doing. but you all know, just as much as i do, that saying and doing are completely different matters. its alot harder to really walk away, than it is to say youre going to, especially when youve spent so much time with a person, and care about them as much as i do ashley. And again, i would never ever tell any of you to leave something, when you and that other person want to be together, and want to make things work.
another thing. i really dont feel that too many of you are justified in saying that i dumped things on you. hell, i never even so much as looked or acted depressed infront of you, for the most part. as far as i really remember, marisa is the only person who can truly say that. i havent dumped 1/100th of this on everyone else, as i did her. yet she never ever tells me to drop it, or shut up, and just leave her. i dont know what that says, but it seems that because she is listening, and understanding, and not just telling me to leave her out of it, or to give up, that it doesnt quite make sense, given that shes heard the bulk of all of this.
to end this, i just want you all to know that i love you. all of you. old and new. to reiterate, i want you all to be my friends, and i want you all to be a part of my life. but you need to realize that none of this, ever, will be a cut and dry matter.
i am not taking part in the discussion/arguement thats going on currently in my journal. i personally feel, that no one should have a problem with anyone, and maybe, just maybe, if everyone quit being so guarded, things might be just a bit better. i dont want to lose any one, but it seems like i really dont havea choice in the matter, given that in order for me to make one group of people happy, i have to forsake the other. i refuse to choose sides during any of this, and i wont ever. i want all of you to be a part of my life, every one. i care about all of my new friends and my old friends equally. i wish youd all get along, but i guess we cant have that. i just really think that if you all could jsut sit down, and be nice to one another, you might realize how silly all of this is, on both parts. i know i have.
as far as ashley and i are concerned, i respect all of your opinions. but you also have to respect my actions. all of you have only heard one side of the story, and that is completely my fault.its alot easier to complain about every little thing that bothers you, than telling everyone about the things that make you happy. youve never heard about the good times, that i explained in this entry that everyone is so up in arms over.i mean, i love this girl.and i have for a long time. im not going to give up on her, if we are both willing to work things out. i wouldnt tell anyone to do that. ever. if we both feel that we want to try again, you all need to respect that
. i know that in giving advice, ive told you all at times to just walk away. ive told you to do exactly what im not doing. but you all know, just as much as i do, that saying and doing are completely different matters. its alot harder to really walk away, than it is to say youre going to, especially when youve spent so much time with a person, and care about them as much as i do ashley. And again, i would never ever tell any of you to leave something, when you and that other person want to be together, and want to make things work.
another thing. i really dont feel that too many of you are justified in saying that i dumped things on you. hell, i never even so much as looked or acted depressed infront of you, for the most part. as far as i really remember, marisa is the only person who can truly say that. i havent dumped 1/100th of this on everyone else, as i did her. yet she never ever tells me to drop it, or shut up, and just leave her. i dont know what that says, but it seems that because she is listening, and understanding, and not just telling me to leave her out of it, or to give up, that it doesnt quite make sense, given that shes heard the bulk of all of this.
to end this, i just want you all to know that i love you. all of you. old and new. to reiterate, i want you all to be my friends, and i want you all to be a part of my life. but you need to realize that none of this, ever, will be a cut and dry matter.