being in the question...
A long time ago, Geoff, my favorite brother, advised me to be "in the question" as opposed to being "in the answer"... I'm deeply in the question these days.
I've recently come out, and ceased most of my association with the religious community I've been with since adolescence. One could call what I'm going through as a crisis of faith. My friend Katherine described it as "evolution of faith." I like that.
I was raised by an ex-Catholic mother. My father was raised in a Protestant family and his parents were some-time missionaries. Dad has lived outside of the US for over 40 years, working for his faith. I considered myself religious most of my life. Not so much so right now. But what DO I believe? And where do I fit in? I'm getting there. I expect I'll never be 100% certain. And that doesn't bother me. I'm liking who/where I am right now.
I still believe a lot of things I was taught. I believe that human beings are, in their essence, good (or at the very least, neutral). I believe, I think, there is something beyond this world, though how I see that is becoming more and more uncertain. I believe that people and nations should treat one another with at least a minimal amount of equanimity, kindness, and justice. I believe that, as an adult, it's my job to become who I am, in spite or perhaps because of how my life went when I had no control over most of it.
I'm learning, and get reminders when I need them, that I am loveable and beloved. I'm learning that love and happiness are more important, and much different, from how I ever saw them before. I'm learning that I can become anything I want to be -- something I managed to teach my children to a degree, even not applying that truth to myself. I'm learning, though I've known in my head for a long time, that loving who I am is conducive to treating myself how I need to be treated, in order to do with myself what I need to do.
It's a good start, I think.
I've recently come out, and ceased most of my association with the religious community I've been with since adolescence. One could call what I'm going through as a crisis of faith. My friend Katherine described it as "evolution of faith." I like that.
I was raised by an ex-Catholic mother. My father was raised in a Protestant family and his parents were some-time missionaries. Dad has lived outside of the US for over 40 years, working for his faith. I considered myself religious most of my life. Not so much so right now. But what DO I believe? And where do I fit in? I'm getting there. I expect I'll never be 100% certain. And that doesn't bother me. I'm liking who/where I am right now.
I still believe a lot of things I was taught. I believe that human beings are, in their essence, good (or at the very least, neutral). I believe, I think, there is something beyond this world, though how I see that is becoming more and more uncertain. I believe that people and nations should treat one another with at least a minimal amount of equanimity, kindness, and justice. I believe that, as an adult, it's my job to become who I am, in spite or perhaps because of how my life went when I had no control over most of it.
I'm learning, and get reminders when I need them, that I am loveable and beloved. I'm learning that love and happiness are more important, and much different, from how I ever saw them before. I'm learning that I can become anything I want to be -- something I managed to teach my children to a degree, even not applying that truth to myself. I'm learning, though I've known in my head for a long time, that loving who I am is conducive to treating myself how I need to be treated, in order to do with myself what I need to do.
It's a good start, I think.