I fucked up
It's a terrible thing for a writer to admit but it's true.
I'm not good with people, particularly with important people. The more important someone is to me the worse I generally am.
Something messy happened today and I didn't deal with it at all well. What it really comes down to is that when the shit hits the fan I cannot tell what anyone wants unless they come right out and tell me.
I don't want to talk to the main event, it's not mine to tell. I'm just going to deal primarily with the aftermath.
To start with, I had originally planned to to go gaming today. it's a pickup group at the local bookstore which I played with last week. When I discovered that something more important had come up I didn't go. Not a huge deal in and of itself but I wanted to at least let them know I wasn't just disappearing because my current social circle is very circumscribed and these were the first independent acquaintances I had made in a year. Not having contact information I had to go by because I couldn't call.
Anyway, after the other thing had finished we were both hit hard in different ways. Since I had previously mentioned the game, and she had to work, she asked me repeatedly if I wanted to go game. I thought she wanted to get rid of me so I said that what I wanted was to let them know I wasn't going to play, but that sure I'd 'like' to play. I was meaning that if I went and played I would probably enjoy it, but that it wasn't really that important.
I asked what she wanted. I could tell she wasn't doing too well emotionally but most of the time lately that has been a sign she wants to push me away. (Please note for the record that I am incredibly dense when it comes to relationships and there are reasons why I will likely never marry, not least of which being I am not good husband material in the least.)
She wouldn't tell me and kept reiterating her question about gaming
So finally I said I'd go.
BIG MISTAKE. Dave gets to fuck up live and in real time.
i went upstairs and changed (I had my game stuff with me because the pack that contained my laptop also had the gaming stuff) then we went down to the store. As we're about to arrive she lets me know what she really wanted, which was for me not to go and game.
Fine I said, let me go in and tell them I'm not playing and that's it. No she'd have none of that.
Long story short I ended up grabbing a drink (it was hot today) from the cafe and walking home.
Maybe someday I will be able to understand what people want, rather than just some of what they say. Somehow I doubt it though. I'm almost 45 and I still have trouble with basic human interactions.
It's probably why I haven't sold anything either.
I'm not good with people, particularly with important people. The more important someone is to me the worse I generally am.
Something messy happened today and I didn't deal with it at all well. What it really comes down to is that when the shit hits the fan I cannot tell what anyone wants unless they come right out and tell me.
I don't want to talk to the main event, it's not mine to tell. I'm just going to deal primarily with the aftermath.
To start with, I had originally planned to to go gaming today. it's a pickup group at the local bookstore which I played with last week. When I discovered that something more important had come up I didn't go. Not a huge deal in and of itself but I wanted to at least let them know I wasn't just disappearing because my current social circle is very circumscribed and these were the first independent acquaintances I had made in a year. Not having contact information I had to go by because I couldn't call.
Anyway, after the other thing had finished we were both hit hard in different ways. Since I had previously mentioned the game, and she had to work, she asked me repeatedly if I wanted to go game. I thought she wanted to get rid of me so I said that what I wanted was to let them know I wasn't going to play, but that sure I'd 'like' to play. I was meaning that if I went and played I would probably enjoy it, but that it wasn't really that important.
I asked what she wanted. I could tell she wasn't doing too well emotionally but most of the time lately that has been a sign she wants to push me away. (Please note for the record that I am incredibly dense when it comes to relationships and there are reasons why I will likely never marry, not least of which being I am not good husband material in the least.)
She wouldn't tell me and kept reiterating her question about gaming
So finally I said I'd go.
BIG MISTAKE. Dave gets to fuck up live and in real time.
i went upstairs and changed (I had my game stuff with me because the pack that contained my laptop also had the gaming stuff) then we went down to the store. As we're about to arrive she lets me know what she really wanted, which was for me not to go and game.
Fine I said, let me go in and tell them I'm not playing and that's it. No she'd have none of that.
Long story short I ended up grabbing a drink (it was hot today) from the cafe and walking home.
Maybe someday I will be able to understand what people want, rather than just some of what they say. Somehow I doubt it though. I'm almost 45 and I still have trouble with basic human interactions.
It's probably why I haven't sold anything either.