and now the real update
i don't know if it can even be giving me side effects after 2 doses, but i'm more tired than i was before (listed as excessive daytime drowsiness) and i have even less motivation than before. i didn't want to get out of bed today. i didn't want to move.
i didn't have any energy, but i made myself get up, turned on music for my shower, got dressed, had lunch, went to the grocery store, and now i'm here. i forgot how much you take for granted when you're settled in a place you know. my mom had to give me directions to the grocery store and it took me 30 minutes or more to finish a list of no more than 10 items, which included (i had no idea where anything was):
diet sprite
foil
tissues
things i wanted to eat
half & half
disposable toiletbowl brushes
and a few others
on a continued note, asking customer service where the toiletbowl brushes are because you can't find them anywhere is *AWKWARD*.
i was nauseous last night even though i took it with food like i'm supposed to and i've had a strange unfocused feeling like i'm not really focusing my eyes on anything in particular. it's feels like being slightly buzzed, but i can pretty much think straight still.
i took a real sleeping pill last night that my doctor gave to me instead of just using benadryl or valium and IT WORKED. the only problem? i woke up still drugged. note to self: don't take a sleeping pill at 1AM. apparently you're not supposed to do that, according to my mom. they tend to have effects for 12 hours. the thought that passed through my head was: but i'm used to getting 6 hours sleep maximum, if i'm lucky. when am i going to have time to sleep 12 hours? *I'M IN COLLEGE*. that's what happens when the normal strength sleeping pills make you like you've just had 3 cups of coffee and are trying to go to sleep. yeah, that's right. me on 3 cups of coffee = awful idea.
i've realized now that this is going to be a long post and i'll go back and put in cuts later when i have my computer in front of me. i'm using a different one right now. i have lj directions for cuts on my laptop...i apologize.
i've realized more and more that i've dealt with so much medical crap from just about every doctor i've encountered for my entire life. with that thought in mind i can't let that continue for other people. having doctors not believe you only for them to have to apologize or in some cases not even bother later on when the tests prove them wrong should not happen. in some cases, there have been permanent consequences and in others the consequences were simply unnecessary.
i have permanent hearing loss because my peditrician wouldn't believe me when i said how much my ears hurt from ear infections when i was 10 until it was 3 months later and it was too late. i went through too many unnecessary months of back pain because doctors wouldn't believe me that it was the worst pain i had ever felt until the MRI results were reviewed.
the chest pain, palpatations, dizziness, headaches, and shortness of breath were overlooked in the ER and my condition wasn't even diagnosed until i saw a cardiologist. they called a psych consult instead and asked me, "why are you so hysterical? just stop crying." i've never been angrier with someone in my entire life. they were supposed to help me and all they did was make things worse. they saw a white college-aged female complaining of "the worst pain ever" and they shrugged me off. all i can say is: BASTARDS. you promised to help people with your knowledge and be patient and all you did was look the other way.
with all that said i want to work specifically in pain management so that would mean health psychology, i suppose. i also want to work with athletes so that would also include sports psychology. and i still want to incorporate medical anthropology in that i've seen too many examples when pills were shoved on people as a solution.
i'm not saying biomedicine doesn't work, but that doesn't have to be the only option. there are always more options. you just have to look for them. so if anyone has any questions, commments, or criticisms that would help me with my self-designed major plans please let me know. i don't really know where this leaves me, but i'm working on it. it's a work in progress.
i think that's all my brain can handle right now and i'm sure you're not even reading this anymore because i've just been rambling for way too long. for those of you crazy enough to still be reading, my congratulations and thanks go out to you.
i didn't have any energy, but i made myself get up, turned on music for my shower, got dressed, had lunch, went to the grocery store, and now i'm here. i forgot how much you take for granted when you're settled in a place you know. my mom had to give me directions to the grocery store and it took me 30 minutes or more to finish a list of no more than 10 items, which included (i had no idea where anything was):
diet sprite
foil
tissues
things i wanted to eat
half & half
disposable toiletbowl brushes
and a few others
on a continued note, asking customer service where the toiletbowl brushes are because you can't find them anywhere is *AWKWARD*.
i was nauseous last night even though i took it with food like i'm supposed to and i've had a strange unfocused feeling like i'm not really focusing my eyes on anything in particular. it's feels like being slightly buzzed, but i can pretty much think straight still.
i took a real sleeping pill last night that my doctor gave to me instead of just using benadryl or valium and IT WORKED. the only problem? i woke up still drugged. note to self: don't take a sleeping pill at 1AM. apparently you're not supposed to do that, according to my mom. they tend to have effects for 12 hours. the thought that passed through my head was: but i'm used to getting 6 hours sleep maximum, if i'm lucky. when am i going to have time to sleep 12 hours? *I'M IN COLLEGE*. that's what happens when the normal strength sleeping pills make you like you've just had 3 cups of coffee and are trying to go to sleep. yeah, that's right. me on 3 cups of coffee = awful idea.
i've realized now that this is going to be a long post and i'll go back and put in cuts later when i have my computer in front of me. i'm using a different one right now. i have lj directions for cuts on my laptop...i apologize.
i've realized more and more that i've dealt with so much medical crap from just about every doctor i've encountered for my entire life. with that thought in mind i can't let that continue for other people. having doctors not believe you only for them to have to apologize or in some cases not even bother later on when the tests prove them wrong should not happen. in some cases, there have been permanent consequences and in others the consequences were simply unnecessary.
i have permanent hearing loss because my peditrician wouldn't believe me when i said how much my ears hurt from ear infections when i was 10 until it was 3 months later and it was too late. i went through too many unnecessary months of back pain because doctors wouldn't believe me that it was the worst pain i had ever felt until the MRI results were reviewed.
the chest pain, palpatations, dizziness, headaches, and shortness of breath were overlooked in the ER and my condition wasn't even diagnosed until i saw a cardiologist. they called a psych consult instead and asked me, "why are you so hysterical? just stop crying." i've never been angrier with someone in my entire life. they were supposed to help me and all they did was make things worse. they saw a white college-aged female complaining of "the worst pain ever" and they shrugged me off. all i can say is: BASTARDS. you promised to help people with your knowledge and be patient and all you did was look the other way.
with all that said i want to work specifically in pain management so that would mean health psychology, i suppose. i also want to work with athletes so that would also include sports psychology. and i still want to incorporate medical anthropology in that i've seen too many examples when pills were shoved on people as a solution.
i'm not saying biomedicine doesn't work, but that doesn't have to be the only option. there are always more options. you just have to look for them. so if anyone has any questions, commments, or criticisms that would help me with my self-designed major plans please let me know. i don't really know where this leaves me, but i'm working on it. it's a work in progress.
i think that's all my brain can handle right now and i'm sure you're not even reading this anymore because i've just been rambling for way too long. for those of you crazy enough to still be reading, my congratulations and thanks go out to you.