Update
Hey Everyone!
Well, it's been a long time since I've been on here - i was going to drop this entirely actually, but seeing that i don't have a 6th period and the library was open, I figured I would see what was up.
I don't understand how one thing can become great and leave something to shit. That is how it has been for me. And I don't get it - so I'll start with the good:
Ashlie (in case you don't know who she is, girly from Band and Winterguard and I have become really super duper good friends. She's the least dramatic out of anyone I know, and always seems to know how to make me smile. It's awesome!
Jeremy and I are actually talking again, which is incredible beyond belif. He has been one of my best friends for most of high school, and I have missed him so much this year, so I'm suppsed to give him a call tomorrow or something.
Tyler and I are talking again. I don't know if that's good or bad, seeing that we got into another arguement a little bit ago, but whatever - the cool thing about it is that I do not feel depended on him anymore. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but yeah.
LaShona and I are awesome right now. she's one of my best friends, and I love her to death. I thought I had lost her last year, but I didn't thank god! She's awesome - don't know how else to put it.
WINTERGUARD COMPETITIONS ARE COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! I am so excited! I am scared though - ppl keep forgetting drill spots and tosses and stuff are still shitty, but I have hope - I just don't want ne one to drop! That's the worst! I am so excited though!
Alright, here's the bad:
School is getting outta hand again. I need to get serious about it and get my shit together.
My life is hectic - I'm at work, or practice, or school, and it's all so much.
My friends are shit right now. Not them particularly, but the whole subject matter of it. I don't know what else to do anymore. I am so sick of all this drama. Somebody always thinks I'm mad or pissed - the finger's always on me, and I'm sick of it. It's driving me crazy - it's gotten to the point where I feel like driving away from it all. The minute things with my family get great, they go to shit. I don't know.
I'm not holding a grudge - but I'm not gonna lie to myself. I don't think I can ever forgive her for what she said. I'm easy? I came to her in full fear of knowing what I was about to say was something that i myslef was ashamed of. To get stabbed in the back, and then in front by finding out, I will never forget it. It was horrible. And to tell her that was how I felt and have it not mean anything - Things will never be the same again. Like I said that day, if she thinks I'm easy, than screw her on that. I'm done.
Tyler and I are talking again...I'll leave it at that.
You know, I started this year thinking that it was going to be CCDCL all the way - it's not - I'll be the first to finally admit it. And it never will be. Lauren you're right, we keep talking, but no one is truly being honest. And I don't know what else to do anymore. I am not here to please everyone and their needs. But I guess I'm the fuck up of the group, and end up getting the shit pilled on me. You can all think what you want, but that's through my eyes - not yours. And I know saying this right now is a waste of breath - the hands of time will take it all into a wasted moment, and will soon be forgotten. I'm sick of trying to fix everything. It wears me down, and already I know that I am not a strong person - can we take this summer into account? I am tyring to get away from those feelings of not mattering, and not wanting to live anymore. And i can't go back - I won't. So if people are going to drag me down with their pissed off feelings and dumping all our friendship problems on me, then I guess I'll have to look at it all from the rear view mirror, and realize that there are not 5 letters anymore, but rather coupling every once in awhile, and a C.
Luv Chrissy
Well, it's been a long time since I've been on here - i was going to drop this entirely actually, but seeing that i don't have a 6th period and the library was open, I figured I would see what was up.
I don't understand how one thing can become great and leave something to shit. That is how it has been for me. And I don't get it - so I'll start with the good:
Ashlie (in case you don't know who she is, girly from Band and Winterguard and I have become really super duper good friends. She's the least dramatic out of anyone I know, and always seems to know how to make me smile. It's awesome!
Jeremy and I are actually talking again, which is incredible beyond belif. He has been one of my best friends for most of high school, and I have missed him so much this year, so I'm suppsed to give him a call tomorrow or something.
Tyler and I are talking again. I don't know if that's good or bad, seeing that we got into another arguement a little bit ago, but whatever - the cool thing about it is that I do not feel depended on him anymore. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but yeah.
LaShona and I are awesome right now. she's one of my best friends, and I love her to death. I thought I had lost her last year, but I didn't thank god! She's awesome - don't know how else to put it.
WINTERGUARD COMPETITIONS ARE COMING UP!!!!!!!!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! I am so excited! I am scared though - ppl keep forgetting drill spots and tosses and stuff are still shitty, but I have hope - I just don't want ne one to drop! That's the worst! I am so excited though!
Alright, here's the bad:
School is getting outta hand again. I need to get serious about it and get my shit together.
My life is hectic - I'm at work, or practice, or school, and it's all so much.
My friends are shit right now. Not them particularly, but the whole subject matter of it. I don't know what else to do anymore. I am so sick of all this drama. Somebody always thinks I'm mad or pissed - the finger's always on me, and I'm sick of it. It's driving me crazy - it's gotten to the point where I feel like driving away from it all. The minute things with my family get great, they go to shit. I don't know.
I'm not holding a grudge - but I'm not gonna lie to myself. I don't think I can ever forgive her for what she said. I'm easy? I came to her in full fear of knowing what I was about to say was something that i myslef was ashamed of. To get stabbed in the back, and then in front by finding out, I will never forget it. It was horrible. And to tell her that was how I felt and have it not mean anything - Things will never be the same again. Like I said that day, if she thinks I'm easy, than screw her on that. I'm done.
Tyler and I are talking again...I'll leave it at that.
You know, I started this year thinking that it was going to be CCDCL all the way - it's not - I'll be the first to finally admit it. And it never will be. Lauren you're right, we keep talking, but no one is truly being honest. And I don't know what else to do anymore. I am not here to please everyone and their needs. But I guess I'm the fuck up of the group, and end up getting the shit pilled on me. You can all think what you want, but that's through my eyes - not yours. And I know saying this right now is a waste of breath - the hands of time will take it all into a wasted moment, and will soon be forgotten. I'm sick of trying to fix everything. It wears me down, and already I know that I am not a strong person - can we take this summer into account? I am tyring to get away from those feelings of not mattering, and not wanting to live anymore. And i can't go back - I won't. So if people are going to drag me down with their pissed off feelings and dumping all our friendship problems on me, then I guess I'll have to look at it all from the rear view mirror, and realize that there are not 5 letters anymore, but rather coupling every once in awhile, and a C.
Luv Chrissy