Update on me
It's now two weeks since I finished work, and I'm starting to wonder how I managed to fit everything in before! It's been great to have the time to help Mum settle in - we had several shopping outings last week as she's having her kitchen fitted this week and had to find a fridge and cooker to go with it
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but I think there are more than enough people who feel nervous/don't try about breast feeding, you said yourself Ruth you felt nervous about the class, and that if the thought of getting your boobs out in front of an unknown man gives them a final excuse then that alone is good enough reason to ban men form the class. John will be a great dad but a nose out of joint over this versus someone not finding out the facts and giving it a go - my view my commiserations to John's nose.
now I know this might be a pile of poo cos if you can't do the class how are you going to cope with the reality but there is a point there. bottom line is there isn't much John can do in this field and there might be some more open and honest chats at the class without men there - which you can then tell him about.
what we found worked well was giving Mup something that was just him to balance it out a bit - hence for the first year of their lives I only gave the girls about one bath (nappy explosions that were too bad for c wool and wet wipes), and while he does that make sure you do something for you (sleeping, reading, catching up on emails etc)
and remember when it comes to relaxing during labour the best thing John can do is act on his knowledge of you ie know if you go quiet you're fretting, or picking up on a sign that something is winding you up or getting you to keep thinking about the big picture not how much you want to strangle the bloody dr - three randomly from my own experience there.
also tell John not to say:'breathe' to you when you are exhausted in pain and losing your sense of humour - that sort of thing
glad the organisation is coming together wonder what you'll do for the rest of the time!
take care see yo usoon
Lil
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Interestingly the midwife said of the couples she spoke to about it, about 50% wanted the men to be there, and about 50% were adamant they didn't want men there at all. So we suggested perhaps they could run two different classes - one for couples and one for women who wanted to go on their own.
At least he'll be able to attend the NCT classes with me, which will include a breastfeeding session.
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So perhaps it's just as well if he doesn't go :-)
Labour - don't expect too much, Kenton didn't have a clue what to do (despite the classes) and just sat in a corner. Typical scientist really, he knew what was going on physically at all times but the emotion bit escaped him. His presence was comforting but his inactivity was slightly irritating at times. A friendly, practical but slightly bossy female presence would have been helpful. (Get your mum in). Actually, perhaps it would be a good idea if John got Kenton's take on the birth experience. (I'd like to hear that conversation too :-)
Lastly getting John to bath the baby while you have "me-time" is a great idea I didn't use, and probably should have done.
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Ruth - as for the breastfeeding, I did find it useful that Nick has been to the NCT class with me (again our NHS classes were women only). When I was getting all het up or feeling unsure, it was reassuring for me that he was able to remind me that every looked fine/yes I was remembering things correctly.
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