I will survive!

[rufflesrenegade]

It has been a month now. Austin sort-of cheated on me (long story) and has been since we first started dating, so I kicked him out. I found out the day I got back from my road trip, and I've never felt right since. We are still "together", but I never see him. Once I kicked him out, he all of the sudden lost his anxiety and started hanging out with all of his old friends again - every stupid day until the break of dawn - literally. I saw him for 2 hours on our sort-of 2 year anniversary before he wanted to leave me & go skating. It's very frustrating - I'm still so shaken by the whole thing and he's off jerking off with his friends all the time. Since I found all this out, I haven't felt right. I feel weird, horribly ugly and unwanted. I haven't felt this level of depressed in a very long time. I know I'm an idiot for staying around. I have very little faith in this world. I'm not sure if I set myself up for these situations, or if I'm just bound to live in a shit storm. But if karma was inevitable, then my next relationship will be perfection, because that's always how I treated Austin.

I saw Journey last night with Cheap Trick and Heart. I wish I could live in the song "don't stop believing" forever, especially with my 24 oz corona with 5 limes in hand.