Friends who are not friends and those who are...
So I spent the night with Pheonyx... well, not the whole night (unfortunately). That will have to come another night, i knoe, but still.
What sucks is the whole mess when I got home. There was so much DRAMA! Crap that I really did not want to deal with and, thankfully, the problem walked out the door with not so much a good-bye when i walked in. I am through with her. Seriously! I'm over it! I understand that she is dealing with the whole unrequeitted love mess and that sucks. I've been there, on her end of it. Now I have been there on the other side as well (yes folks, I am the one being loved and I dont love her back) and let me tell you! IT SUCKS ON THIS SIDE TOO! I cant take any more of her crap... the her in question is midnyghtembers and if you will just look at her last post (if she ever gets it up, that is.... it is sitting on my comp right now... I will post it if I have to) you'll see what I mean.
And I am going to so catch shit from my other friends for this shit as well.... I cant get this right I guess. But someone tell me what is wrong with not loving someone who loves you when you have told them under no few uncertain terms that there is no way in hell you could ever love them the way they love you.... Am I really a bad guy for not loving her?? I sure as hell hope not! If that's the case then I need new friends and I wont hesitate to go and find them. This bullshit needs to end, tonight... or else!
And then there is those other friends. They said they wanted to meet my girly and we made plans -- they, her, and I -- for them to do just that. Those plans were to happen tonight. Instead, they decided to watch a movie they had on DVD, one they could have watched later. I have no idea what conclusions they are going to draw from all of this night and frankly i dont care. I was told there would be 9 months of hell and I guess they were right. In the end though, in this sitch, Pheonyx is all that matters to me... if my friends cant get on board with that idea, they i will leave there asses at the station. I am very very done with all of their shit. Not that I am complaining to much about them not taking any interest in her. It meant I got to spend more private time with her and that is making me a very happy boi! Amazing and wonderful doesnt even begin to cover her. Almost, but not quite. But, shit! If they tell me to bring her over so they can get to knoe her, to give her a chance before jumping to any fucked up conclusions about her and her motives, at least have the fucking decency to fucking talk to her. Fuck! Chance, the *DOG*, had more to do with her than the people in the house did! CHANCE! What the FUCK is up with that!?!?!
I would like to knoe what the hell crawled up everyone asses and died here! She has done nothing to them and they are acting like she is penicillin to me (for those of you who dont knoe... i am deathly allerigic to penicillin). She is nothing of the sort! She is my stabling force. She can calm me down with nothing but a simple kiss and sometimes -- if she is not there when I get angry, as I found out tonight -- by just walking into the room. She balances my flaws with her perfection and she understands me in ways no one -- not even Derryk -- has ever understood me. She knoes things about me that I have never told anyone, things I never thought I would tell anyone ---- ever... and she is still here, by my side (not literally at the moment, but you knoe what I mean). She is understanding and accepting and she does not judge me the way others do. She likes me for me. No, sugar coating on me to make me tastier... She just likes me... We have a complete honesty pact and I am keeping it and she still likes me for me. How can that be all bad!?!?! How can that be bad AT ALL!?!? If someone can explain this to me, then do! Cause I am really fucking CONFUSED here!
These people tell me they only want what is best for me... if that is so, I want them to tell me what or who could be better for me than Pheonyx! I doubt they could and still they have shit to say about her that is none to nice.
Well, I have covered the "Friends who are not friends" part of the title..... Those who are friends are the ones I thought would be the ones trying to kill me over this! How bass ackwards is that!?!? Those who are supposed to blow up arent and those who arent are! But to those friends who are friends... thank you. I am sorry it took this to show me who you all are, but with strife comes life and with life comes happiness (hopefully).
My more personal thoughts on this matter are in my actual diary. If anyone actually believes that I use my LJ for that kind of stuff then they are just fucking stupid. So they are locked in my diary and will only be able to be read in the event of my death (no seriously! It's in my will. Yeah, I have a will.. go figure!).
Lastly, can my lost friend litlgrllstntime find the time to be one of my friends who are my friends? I could really use a sympathic ear and heart in this and since no one around me truly is one, the other, or both, I would like it to be you... if you think you can handle it. Email me or comment if that will be alright with you....
What sucks is the whole mess when I got home. There was so much DRAMA! Crap that I really did not want to deal with and, thankfully, the problem walked out the door with not so much a good-bye when i walked in. I am through with her. Seriously! I'm over it! I understand that she is dealing with the whole unrequeitted love mess and that sucks. I've been there, on her end of it. Now I have been there on the other side as well (yes folks, I am the one being loved and I dont love her back) and let me tell you! IT SUCKS ON THIS SIDE TOO! I cant take any more of her crap... the her in question is midnyghtembers and if you will just look at her last post (if she ever gets it up, that is.... it is sitting on my comp right now... I will post it if I have to) you'll see what I mean.
And I am going to so catch shit from my other friends for this shit as well.... I cant get this right I guess. But someone tell me what is wrong with not loving someone who loves you when you have told them under no few uncertain terms that there is no way in hell you could ever love them the way they love you.... Am I really a bad guy for not loving her?? I sure as hell hope not! If that's the case then I need new friends and I wont hesitate to go and find them. This bullshit needs to end, tonight... or else!
And then there is those other friends. They said they wanted to meet my girly and we made plans -- they, her, and I -- for them to do just that. Those plans were to happen tonight. Instead, they decided to watch a movie they had on DVD, one they could have watched later. I have no idea what conclusions they are going to draw from all of this night and frankly i dont care. I was told there would be 9 months of hell and I guess they were right. In the end though, in this sitch, Pheonyx is all that matters to me... if my friends cant get on board with that idea, they i will leave there asses at the station. I am very very done with all of their shit. Not that I am complaining to much about them not taking any interest in her. It meant I got to spend more private time with her and that is making me a very happy boi! Amazing and wonderful doesnt even begin to cover her. Almost, but not quite. But, shit! If they tell me to bring her over so they can get to knoe her, to give her a chance before jumping to any fucked up conclusions about her and her motives, at least have the fucking decency to fucking talk to her. Fuck! Chance, the *DOG*, had more to do with her than the people in the house did! CHANCE! What the FUCK is up with that!?!?!
I would like to knoe what the hell crawled up everyone asses and died here! She has done nothing to them and they are acting like she is penicillin to me (for those of you who dont knoe... i am deathly allerigic to penicillin). She is nothing of the sort! She is my stabling force. She can calm me down with nothing but a simple kiss and sometimes -- if she is not there when I get angry, as I found out tonight -- by just walking into the room. She balances my flaws with her perfection and she understands me in ways no one -- not even Derryk -- has ever understood me. She knoes things about me that I have never told anyone, things I never thought I would tell anyone ---- ever... and she is still here, by my side (not literally at the moment, but you knoe what I mean). She is understanding and accepting and she does not judge me the way others do. She likes me for me. No, sugar coating on me to make me tastier... She just likes me... We have a complete honesty pact and I am keeping it and she still likes me for me. How can that be all bad!?!?! How can that be bad AT ALL!?!? If someone can explain this to me, then do! Cause I am really fucking CONFUSED here!
These people tell me they only want what is best for me... if that is so, I want them to tell me what or who could be better for me than Pheonyx! I doubt they could and still they have shit to say about her that is none to nice.
Well, I have covered the "Friends who are not friends" part of the title..... Those who are friends are the ones I thought would be the ones trying to kill me over this! How bass ackwards is that!?!? Those who are supposed to blow up arent and those who arent are! But to those friends who are friends... thank you. I am sorry it took this to show me who you all are, but with strife comes life and with life comes happiness (hopefully).
My more personal thoughts on this matter are in my actual diary. If anyone actually believes that I use my LJ for that kind of stuff then they are just fucking stupid. So they are locked in my diary and will only be able to be read in the event of my death (no seriously! It's in my will. Yeah, I have a will.. go figure!).
Lastly, can my lost friend litlgrllstntime find the time to be one of my friends who are my friends? I could really use a sympathic ear and heart in this and since no one around me truly is one, the other, or both, I would like it to be you... if you think you can handle it. Email me or comment if that will be alright with you....