(no subject)
Um. I realized today I made a friend. And it caught me by surprize because I hadn't realized it before, and I should have. Why hadn't I considered us "friends" friends? I feel this must happen a lot. A "friend" called me recently and said they'd love to catch up and that they meant to keep in touch better. And I was surprized by that too. I think I've been conditioned to lose touch with people. Especially casual aquaintances. but are those casual aquaintances really friends? What the hell?
I physically hate living by myself. Proof of this is the fact that I take shitty care of my apartement and have refused to clean up. Why bother? Nobody sees it but me. This is totally unhealthy. But on the other hand, when it's neat, my apartement is dang cute. and in a fun little area. and, still lonely. I finally understand why people get married (that really is a joke)
I miss.
My paper is not writing itself. And I don't care. I realized something else this week when it came out of my mouth - school is NOT my top priority: life is.
I haven't felt this crappy in a while, we'll blame it on hormones and push me into the stereotype of an unstable female : that will make me feel better. no it won't, but it might make me feel justified.
if I had a remote control for life, I think my pause button would get worn out. no need for fast forward, occasionally a rewind. but so often I just want to pause.
remember that time, that time where I posted? and other people posted? and I felt connected, eventhough it was superficial? Is this better? The lack of superficiality is helping my soul, or so I felt. Maybe there's just different crap.
I physically hate living by myself. Proof of this is the fact that I take shitty care of my apartement and have refused to clean up. Why bother? Nobody sees it but me. This is totally unhealthy. But on the other hand, when it's neat, my apartement is dang cute. and in a fun little area. and, still lonely. I finally understand why people get married (that really is a joke)
I miss.
My paper is not writing itself. And I don't care. I realized something else this week when it came out of my mouth - school is NOT my top priority: life is.
I haven't felt this crappy in a while, we'll blame it on hormones and push me into the stereotype of an unstable female : that will make me feel better. no it won't, but it might make me feel justified.
if I had a remote control for life, I think my pause button would get worn out. no need for fast forward, occasionally a rewind. but so often I just want to pause.
remember that time, that time where I posted? and other people posted? and I felt connected, eventhough it was superficial? Is this better? The lack of superficiality is helping my soul, or so I felt. Maybe there's just different crap.