Whee. I'm Cranky, Yo...
It's a tad chilly--for Los Angeles. It's 54 degrees, a tad breezy, and the pollen's up. I'm all itchy. Still, I'm on my own all day and don't really feel like staying indoors for all of it, so I'm gonna go for a walk. The primary objective is a pair of shoes for work. I hate shopping these days. Haaaaaaate it. I'd like to look well put-together, but not trendy, and sort of nondescript. I'd like to feel comfortable and be able to run for a bus if necessary, and not worry about showing skin. Freakin' low-rise stuff is out of control and I have no waist, so... Yeah. Getting dressed for work is stressful. I used to wear something like a black/navy/gray/white personal uniform, but I got used to wearing t-shirts/jeans/sneakers at Borders. I need a hairless cat and a personal dresser consultation.
Shoes? If not architectural, too flat. Insoles are hard and uncomfy, soles are slippery, and toes are pointy. I wear socks, so most women's shoes don't fit properly. If I go without socks, I end up with blisters and numb toes. I've been wearing black slip-on Vans, but they're wearing through, even as they've become worn enough not to give me blisters. Took a long while, though.
I'm in a personal style rut. I have a couple of dresses I wear to work, but I feel odd in them. I can't put my finger on why. There's an anxiety when I wear them. I don't like the way tights feel on my skin, either. Even when my legs are shaved smooth, I feel like everything's brushed the wrong way, again and again, throughout the day. Very distracting.
If I dress for comfort, I get some lesbian attention. That's distracting, too. You know how there's a work-casual guys look? That's the one that would get me the ladies, if I were on the market for 'em. There's not really a women's version of that. I think it's because we're supposed to be sort of ornamental/on display. If not appearing specifically "doable", women are encouraged to at least look "not un-doable". Women can also dress for each other. It's a status and competition thing. In the end, it's attention I don't want to garner. I just want to get dressed, look friendly--but not too friendly, and so on.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, since around age 10. I think the thing I want does not exist. I'd like to spend my time thinking about other things, damn it.
Shoes? If not architectural, too flat. Insoles are hard and uncomfy, soles are slippery, and toes are pointy. I wear socks, so most women's shoes don't fit properly. If I go without socks, I end up with blisters and numb toes. I've been wearing black slip-on Vans, but they're wearing through, even as they've become worn enough not to give me blisters. Took a long while, though.
I'm in a personal style rut. I have a couple of dresses I wear to work, but I feel odd in them. I can't put my finger on why. There's an anxiety when I wear them. I don't like the way tights feel on my skin, either. Even when my legs are shaved smooth, I feel like everything's brushed the wrong way, again and again, throughout the day. Very distracting.
If I dress for comfort, I get some lesbian attention. That's distracting, too. You know how there's a work-casual guys look? That's the one that would get me the ladies, if I were on the market for 'em. There's not really a women's version of that. I think it's because we're supposed to be sort of ornamental/on display. If not appearing specifically "doable", women are encouraged to at least look "not un-doable". Women can also dress for each other. It's a status and competition thing. In the end, it's attention I don't want to garner. I just want to get dressed, look friendly--but not too friendly, and so on.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, since around age 10. I think the thing I want does not exist. I'd like to spend my time thinking about other things, damn it.