Whee. (Kind of like that band, "Fun.")
I hate how it gets dark early, now that I use the bus to get home from work. I'm working until 5 Monday, but sunset's just before then. Work's in a business park sort of place and L.A.'s surprisingly lacking in street lighting. My neighborhood is also pretty dark at night. I don't know if I should dress to conceal myself or to not look like a speed bump. I have to walk a few blocks from the stop to the apartment, too. Not much lighting. Grr.
I'm steadily finding my footing at work, at least duty-wise. Dealing with my supe is complicated and strange. I don't know what to make of it. I don't have much in the way of guile, so I usually hope/try to think carefully about what to say before saying anything. I am cautious with what I promise, then try hard to deliver more than that. My supe will lie (more as a childish sort of self-protection maneuver than as a malicious thing), overstates her abilities, comes in late, overshares personal information, and is generally annoying. Because she comes in at least 2 hours after I start, and because I leave a few hours after that, I can deal with her on a limited-exposure basis. On the other hand, she's responsible for assessing my performance. I can't trust what she says to me, because she has no trouble throwing another person's name out for blame when talking to the doctor or the hiring manager. The lines are unclear. I made it through the probation period, so I guess I get a key to the door and codes for the photocopier and postage machine. Yay?
I don't understand habitual liars. I keep ending up with them in my life, but I don't understand them much. I've tentatively decided that my supe is mentally disabled, at least as a thought exercise. That handles the capability part. As far as her ethics go, I'm going to armchair this and build a profile. She likely had a complicated and distant relationship with her father. She idolized him, but could never gain the right amount or sort of attention from him, so she constantly seeks male attention. Once she finds someone sympathetic to her plight, she leans hard on them. If they don't push her away, she resents them and belittles them. She likely resents other women and considers herself something different or beyond them, and probably fears rejection by women in her sphere, especially if she can't take an Alpha position with them...
It gets me through my days.
On the much more interesting side of life, I scored a Zune off eBay. It just needed a battery, so I'm good to go after replacing that and doing some firmware/software updates. I'm not thrilled with the software, but it's a darned good piece of hardware. I'll use the iPod Shuffle for my bedtime listening, and consider some earphone purchase soonish. I'm interested in Sennheiser, but they don't fit me well, despite sounding absolutely wonderful. My in-ear Beats gave up the ghost a while back, but I don't relish buying another set. They don't travel well in a bag of random stuff, I find. I need battleworthy and reasonably priced gear.
I also turned 44 in October. This occasion was marked by fuck-all Hurricane Sandy and a painful non-period. I think menopause is making her presence felt. My friends and their loved ones are all okay, but dealing with power outages, gas shortages, and other such bullshit. On the other hand, I still have them here in the land of the living. It's just scary, but they're all still here. The Hub grew a goatee, then shaved it, and released his first solo CD. I've also rescued 2 iPhones (turning down a reward in one case) and treated Kitty Clem for fleas. I also considered NaNoWriMo, but decided against it. I don't think I so much decided against it as didn't decide to do it. Someday, I want to finish a longer writing project, publish it, and have that off the "To Do" list. Oh! I also tried fermented tofu, which is a very gross thing. It made me wonder if I even like regular tofu. It took me a while to eat the plain stuff again. I was relieved to find that I still like it. Whew.
Time to settle down for bed. I've been reading Nick Tosches and have a John Hodgman book on deck. Reading is slower-going these days. There's no one much to talk books with after I'm done. No one asks me what I'm reading and no one I see regularly reads. There's not much cultural support. I remember feeling like this before I worked at Borders. I'm not sure how much of it is L.A. A fair amount, I guess. A book group seems too structured, and involves strangers. S'weird. Could be the Autumnal doldrums, too.
I think I need to listen to more Anthrax, too. Surely that's something.