(no subject)
I find something very strange. I've been doing martial arts for almost half a year now. The strange part is that more has changed inside of me than phsyically. I have not really put on much more muscle or lost weight, but inside I feel completely different. I different kind of strong. I feel more whole, more complete. I no longer fear confrontation. In fact the idea of getting in a fight doesn't phaze me. It seems normal. I am no longer a slave to my emotions or my thoughts, instead they merge as one for completion of me. In other words, before my insides were working against me and themselves, now everything is one and fights for a sole purpose. I feel like I am becoming more open with my opinions and my thoughts. I am looking at things from a different light, and finding parts of me that I've kept hidden or thought that were wrong, and finding out how to fine tune them to make me even stronger. I don't feel as strongly as I did before about what people think about me. I know what I think about me and that's all that matters. For once in my life I can look myself in the mirror. I can look into my eyes and not hate myself. I'm starting to learn to forgive myself for all that I've done wrong. I now know that trying to stand against change isn't going to work. I've found that just flowing with change and taking advantage of it allow me to be less stressed and find new opportunities. To learn to be like water is to master life itself. I am calm on the outside, and I reflect everything going on, but when it comes to it, there is a tsunami inside of me. I am no longer afraid to Seize the Day.