fuck all this ancient history
optimism fading away. writing sad song after sad song while strumming the same chords on the guitar over and over. bored to death. afraid of growing up. afraid of the fact that i'm going to turn 18 in a little over four months. decide to call up a friend. distract my mind from thinking all these negative thoughts. thus, negative thoughts end up turning into two of the best days i've had all summer. decorating cul-de-sacs with chalk. two people practically passed out in my car from eating too much ice cream. enormous, beautiful, full moon. playgrounds in the dark. losing shoes at playgrounds in the dark. feeling like a little kid again. board games. prank phone calls. not wanting these nights to end. not wanting this summer to end. and one huge reason to stop writing sad song after sad song on a crappy guitar about something i was once so optimistic about. i guess i got lucky this time. second chances were never this good.