for realmofthemuse: 1.23.1 Talk Your Way Out of a Ticket
"D'you know why I pulled you over, sir?"
"You pulled me over? Oh, see, I was actually pulling myself over, I hadn't had the faintest idea you were interested in speaking to me until you stepped up here."
"Sir. You were doing 85 in a 35 zone."
"I was? Really? Are you sure?"
"You were driving this car, weren't you? That…lady with you wasn't driving?"
"Illyria? Oh, goodness no, I wouldn't give her a lisence, and neither should you. She gets road rage, I've no doubt."
"Sir, you were doing 85 in a 35, and it's also a school district---"
"Well, she's pretty prone to rage in general, aren't you, Illyria? Like that time you ripped that poor fellow's head off in Prauge? Do you remember that? I would've laughed had it not been quite so gruesome."
"---and you were driving on the wrong side of the road----"
"He should not have been leering so immaturely."
"Well, he was only leering, really, is that something to be so upset about?"
"---you sped right through a stop sign-"
"Doctor, had I not intervened, I have no doubt he would've propositioned you most crudely."
"Well, maybe."
"And had you agreed, he would've taken you from me and trapped me in that time."
"I'd have come back, you know."
"---Sir, with the amount of citations, I'm going to have to take you in for reckless endangerment---"
"I doubt that sincerely, Doctor."
"So, what? You'll just rip off the head of anyone who tries to keep me from taking you where you want to go?"
"That was the implication, yes."
"Bit violent of you, isn't it? Anyone? Propositioners, lawyers, police officers…"
"Are you threatening me?"
"What? Oh, no, sorry, officer, forgot you were there. Just chatting to my companion here, she's got a bit of a mean streak in her, you understand."
"Why the hell is she smilin' at me?"
"I haven't the foggiest. Why did you pull me over, again?"
"It's a creepy smile."
"You should see her when she isn't homicidal. Are you going to write me a ticket? Can't we just pass it off as bad manners and move on?"
"Get her to quit it."
"Illyria."
"Yes?"
"The man would like you to stop smiling at him."
"Then he will simply have to deal with not liking this situation."
"Can't control her, you see? Ticket?"
"What? Uh, no. Just…drive slower. Right side of the road."
"Of course, good day to you, officer."
Muse: the Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 454
"You pulled me over? Oh, see, I was actually pulling myself over, I hadn't had the faintest idea you were interested in speaking to me until you stepped up here."
"Sir. You were doing 85 in a 35 zone."
"I was? Really? Are you sure?"
"You were driving this car, weren't you? That…lady with you wasn't driving?"
"Illyria? Oh, goodness no, I wouldn't give her a lisence, and neither should you. She gets road rage, I've no doubt."
"Sir, you were doing 85 in a 35, and it's also a school district---"
"Well, she's pretty prone to rage in general, aren't you, Illyria? Like that time you ripped that poor fellow's head off in Prauge? Do you remember that? I would've laughed had it not been quite so gruesome."
"---and you were driving on the wrong side of the road----"
"He should not have been leering so immaturely."
"Well, he was only leering, really, is that something to be so upset about?"
"---you sped right through a stop sign-"
"Doctor, had I not intervened, I have no doubt he would've propositioned you most crudely."
"Well, maybe."
"And had you agreed, he would've taken you from me and trapped me in that time."
"I'd have come back, you know."
"---Sir, with the amount of citations, I'm going to have to take you in for reckless endangerment---"
"I doubt that sincerely, Doctor."
"So, what? You'll just rip off the head of anyone who tries to keep me from taking you where you want to go?"
"That was the implication, yes."
"Bit violent of you, isn't it? Anyone? Propositioners, lawyers, police officers…"
"Are you threatening me?"
"What? Oh, no, sorry, officer, forgot you were there. Just chatting to my companion here, she's got a bit of a mean streak in her, you understand."
"Why the hell is she smilin' at me?"
"I haven't the foggiest. Why did you pull me over, again?"
"It's a creepy smile."
"You should see her when she isn't homicidal. Are you going to write me a ticket? Can't we just pass it off as bad manners and move on?"
"Get her to quit it."
"Illyria."
"Yes?"
"The man would like you to stop smiling at him."
"Then he will simply have to deal with not liking this situation."
"Can't control her, you see? Ticket?"
"What? Uh, no. Just…drive slower. Right side of the road."
"Of course, good day to you, officer."
Muse: the Doctor (Ten)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Word Count: 454