i woke up at the crack of dawn. i looked at him still sleeping, and i got dressed and ran. and i didnt call him. an i didnt even acknowledge him at school. he sat next to me in two different classes and i never even glanced at him once. almost a week later we had practice. and we were all at his house. and we did nothing but fight the entire time. hours of being an inch away from killing each other and we obviously needed to talk. so pummer told them hed take me home later, since i rode with them. after they left he was in the kitchen, taking a breather from me probably, filling the sink up with water to let a pan BAM had made brownies in soak. i walked by him to put my plate in the sink, and i accidentally bumped him. he told me to "watch it". "or what?!" i said, whirling on him. "im not giving you that option hookman. just watch it." and he punctuated that by pushing me back a step. and that was just the absolute last straw. i threw him back in the wall, dead set on walking out of that house with his lifeless body on the floor. and somehow murder changed to something like angry hate sex... and then in the half second between falling back down on the bed and falling asleep, he made me promise not to leave again.
but still the next day it was like nothing had happened. we sat on opposite side of the couch and watched movies without saying anything to each other except stuff like "do you want another coke?" he took me home that night. we spent the entire car ride without talking. then i got out, flashed him the deuces, and went inside without ever looking back.
and it went on like that for months. wed let it build up until we couldnt stand the sight of each other, wed fight, and we end up in bed. it was a totally different way of hurting each other. using each other for sex and then pretending it never happened, until eventually it changed from hate sex to regular sex. it didnt always start with screaming and insults anymore.
months later it was valentines day, and i was wondering outloud to BAM if i should be doing anything for him, because it wasnt like we were together, but it wasnt like we werent either. she asked how i would feel if he went out with someone else that night. so, to resolve the fury i felt at that thought, she suggested we minimize weirdness by doubling - her and annie and me and him. two guys and two girls was way less weird together, and we passed it off as halfway just being about escorting the girls. he acted extraordinarily strange after that. then that next weekend, he told me he loved me. then promptly fell asleep. and the subject was never again mentioned.
then one day several months later, his parents came home early, caught us - not even doing anything! - kissing, freaked out, and his dad literally threw me out of pummers (closed!) second story window. i waited for hours to hear from him, and then he showed up at my house, miserable, bloody, and beat up. and thats how he moved in with me.
a week or two before that next valentines day, he made me promise we wouldnt do anything because it was "kind of a love holday". and i didnt care if we did anything or not. but that hurt. a couple days after valentines day, we got in a really big fight. while we were walking back to his car in a parking lot. sick of us yelling at each other, he threw me against the car, which wouldve been normal for a fight with us, had he not followed that by hugging me. and i was shocked. because we never did that. he'd never hugged me before, not like that, and especially not in public. and then, almost a year after he said it the first time, and nearly two years since we'd been "together", he told me for the second time that he loved me. and then he followed that by telling me that he was tired of us constantly pushing each other away, and that he just wanted a real relationship with me already.
then two years after that, we finally got the hang of it...
Can I just say... That was the most fucking awkward day ever :D Worse than when you used to fight like that and me and BAM would be in the middle because STUFF HAPPENED. Haha. I was just sitting there like there like ">:|" and BAM was all "OMFG BROWNIES MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER!!!" When she was mixing the batter she was like "You don't have anything on you right now... That I could use to make these a little more... "special," do you?"
"or what?!" i said, whirling on him.
"im not giving you that option hookman. just watch it." and he punctuated that by pushing me back a step. and that was just the absolute last straw. i threw him back in the wall, dead set on walking out of that house with his lifeless body on the floor. and somehow murder changed to something like angry hate sex... and then in the half second between falling back down on the bed and falling asleep, he made me promise not to leave again.
but still the next day it was like nothing had happened. we sat on opposite side of the couch and watched movies without saying anything to each other except stuff like "do you want another coke?" he took me home that night. we spent the entire car ride without talking. then i got out, flashed him the deuces, and went inside without ever looking back.
and it went on like that for months. wed let it build up until we couldnt stand the sight of each other, wed fight, and we end up in bed. it was a totally different way of hurting each other. using each other for sex and then pretending it never happened, until eventually it changed from hate sex to regular sex. it didnt always start with screaming and insults anymore.
months later it was valentines day, and i was wondering outloud to BAM if i should be doing anything for him, because it wasnt like we were together, but it wasnt like we werent either. she asked how i would feel if he went out with someone else that night. so, to resolve the fury i felt at that thought, she suggested we minimize weirdness by doubling - her and annie and me and him. two guys and two girls was way less weird together, and we passed it off as halfway just being about escorting the girls. he acted extraordinarily strange after that. then that next weekend, he told me he loved me. then promptly fell asleep. and the subject was never again mentioned.
then one day several months later, his parents came home early, caught us - not even doing anything! - kissing, freaked out, and his dad literally threw me out of pummers (closed!) second story window. i waited for hours to hear from him, and then he showed up at my house, miserable, bloody, and beat up. and thats how he moved in with me.
a week or two before that next valentines day, he made me promise we wouldnt do anything because it was "kind of a love holday". and i didnt care if we did anything or not. but that hurt. a couple days after valentines day, we got in a really big fight. while we were walking back to his car in a parking lot. sick of us yelling at each other, he threw me against the car, which wouldve been normal for a fight with us, had he not followed that by hugging me. and i was shocked. because we never did that. he'd never hugged me before, not like that, and especially not in public. and then, almost a year after he said it the first time, and nearly two years since we'd been "together", he told me for the second time that he loved me. and then he followed that by telling me that he was tired of us constantly pushing each other away, and that he just wanted a real relationship with me already.
then two years after that, we finally got the hang of it...
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Gosh Smee, why of all days did you not have things on you for to drug them with? ^^
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