Where did I get this?!?!?!?!?!!
The Thoughts That Go In and Out of a Simple Boy.
Life sucks. I don’t like my life at all. I wish I was dead. I wish everyone was dead. But then, if everyone dies… Then we would all be dead, and my spirit would be bothered by everybody’s dead spirits making me wish I was alive! Oh, how I hate deliberating with myself over such stupid things. I hate thinking, “Gee, Ruddy. How did this come to be? How could you have miserably failed?”
“I don’t know, but you sure did,” would respond the voices in my head, although they are not completely visual to me at all. Are they to you? It’s without live itself that life seems better than it really is. With so much time to spend, there is nothing one can really do. I sit, and sit, watching the time fly by. The clock strikes 9 way too many times for my own good. It’s at that time that I miss you the most… and I hope you realize that.
Another morning and another day. This sickness which torments my vulnerable throat still lingers in the cavities of my bones, and I have yet to define its meanings. The itchiness on my wrist may only be scratched by the sharp, cold edge of a razor blade. Oh, how I long to see this day continue. Oh, how I long for these days to end. They go by day by day, all in a perfect style of grace and order and yet, none are really the same! The things I think in my head are really not what they seem to be, but what those in my head tell me they are. Accuracy is not legit as that which has to be dealt with it in the first place. Am I confusing you? I hope not, because I think I am confusing myself.
Racial differences seem less like something that would bother the people in the school I go to. Nothing like skin color or manner of dressing really affects people’s education, or how they will be able to alter their own futures. I really do love the fact that in this environment if someone like myself, that being an unpopular boy, would commit suicide no one would notice. Which compete satisfies the plot of me doing so. Though, I keep thinking in my head that there has to be more to life than just this. I am not sure if weather I should just end my life now as it is, or to continue and find new things in this horrible journey of discovery.
What is discovery really? The say that in school, like the beautiful one I attend, you learn the process of really knowing what is discovery. Lots of things you discover. One of them, being most important in my opinion, is yourself and who you will become in the future… and along with that discovery, you also find out that you can change. Major tools and awesome discoveries are there for you at your disposal. Now why would I want to commit suicide? Now that I have gone over this, I really don’t know. I suppose that I might be trying to save my life, but is that really so? Maybe I don’t want to end my life, but I just contemplate the thought too much, and how much of an impact it might leave when I do really leave this ‘journey of discovery’.
* * *
As I woke up today, I had in my mind the thought of myself eating meat. You know? The dead carcass of once living things. I haven’t eaten a bit of red meat for a long time, and I don’t think I ever will do so again. People around me eat it, though. I suppose the grease and filth from that dead corpse has corroded their faces. The look like wart hogs and yet wonder why they look likes so. Well, if you eat the dead you will start looking LIKE the dead. Isn’t it simple logic? You are what you eat! I am sure everyone’s mother has told them that once or twice? It’s horrid what people do to obtain those red morsels of food on their tables. One most think we are savages for doing this on a grand scale or for even thinking that it is perfectly normal! Think! You enslave a culture of beautiful animals and weaken them physically and morally, then commit the mass genocide of their species. Millions of animals massacred for the only purpose of using their meat as food and their hide as shoes. It sickens me. Sometimes I have dreams of killing other humans and using them as a source of obtaining nutrients, and such. But would that be moral? Worst off, would it be legal? These pig-like humans using laws to convey to their ‘mannerly’ way. Death to them all, I say.
Truly they are pigs! I look at each one of them and can’t stop but think of how they each either resemble a pig, or a monkey. All of them covered in masculine facial hair or disgusting acne. Why, there are only few exceptions to this rule where those very, very few humans DO actually seem evolved enough to consider beautiful. The whole entire human civilizations are nothing more than cunning animals. They are no different. Not different at all, I say. I am starting to believe that maybe computers should take over the world. Yes, humans should create that which will conduct their future lives. It’s for the best of all living things on earth. Our sins lay heavy upon us, and forgiveness is far beyond our grasp.
I suppose God could be the one to blame for this, but then again I could be wrong. I mean, God did give us humans that responsibility to manage the earth, and we made it into a living hell-hole. For those that blame God, I think them wrong. I am not a big fan of his, but to be fair, it’s really not his fault. The only one we are wronging is no one else but him. So, if he gave us the opportunity to try things out, and we messed up, then it’s our fault, and at all for he.
Life sucks. I don’t like my life at all. I wish I was dead. I wish everyone was dead. But then, if everyone dies… Then we would all be dead, and my spirit would be bothered by everybody’s dead spirits making me wish I was alive! Oh, how I hate deliberating with myself over such stupid things. I hate thinking, “Gee, Ruddy. How did this come to be? How could you have miserably failed?”
“I don’t know, but you sure did,” would respond the voices in my head, although they are not completely visual to me at all. Are they to you? It’s without live itself that life seems better than it really is. With so much time to spend, there is nothing one can really do. I sit, and sit, watching the time fly by. The clock strikes 9 way too many times for my own good. It’s at that time that I miss you the most… and I hope you realize that.
Another morning and another day. This sickness which torments my vulnerable throat still lingers in the cavities of my bones, and I have yet to define its meanings. The itchiness on my wrist may only be scratched by the sharp, cold edge of a razor blade. Oh, how I long to see this day continue. Oh, how I long for these days to end. They go by day by day, all in a perfect style of grace and order and yet, none are really the same! The things I think in my head are really not what they seem to be, but what those in my head tell me they are. Accuracy is not legit as that which has to be dealt with it in the first place. Am I confusing you? I hope not, because I think I am confusing myself.
Racial differences seem less like something that would bother the people in the school I go to. Nothing like skin color or manner of dressing really affects people’s education, or how they will be able to alter their own futures. I really do love the fact that in this environment if someone like myself, that being an unpopular boy, would commit suicide no one would notice. Which compete satisfies the plot of me doing so. Though, I keep thinking in my head that there has to be more to life than just this. I am not sure if weather I should just end my life now as it is, or to continue and find new things in this horrible journey of discovery.
What is discovery really? The say that in school, like the beautiful one I attend, you learn the process of really knowing what is discovery. Lots of things you discover. One of them, being most important in my opinion, is yourself and who you will become in the future… and along with that discovery, you also find out that you can change. Major tools and awesome discoveries are there for you at your disposal. Now why would I want to commit suicide? Now that I have gone over this, I really don’t know. I suppose that I might be trying to save my life, but is that really so? Maybe I don’t want to end my life, but I just contemplate the thought too much, and how much of an impact it might leave when I do really leave this ‘journey of discovery’.
* * *
As I woke up today, I had in my mind the thought of myself eating meat. You know? The dead carcass of once living things. I haven’t eaten a bit of red meat for a long time, and I don’t think I ever will do so again. People around me eat it, though. I suppose the grease and filth from that dead corpse has corroded their faces. The look like wart hogs and yet wonder why they look likes so. Well, if you eat the dead you will start looking LIKE the dead. Isn’t it simple logic? You are what you eat! I am sure everyone’s mother has told them that once or twice? It’s horrid what people do to obtain those red morsels of food on their tables. One most think we are savages for doing this on a grand scale or for even thinking that it is perfectly normal! Think! You enslave a culture of beautiful animals and weaken them physically and morally, then commit the mass genocide of their species. Millions of animals massacred for the only purpose of using their meat as food and their hide as shoes. It sickens me. Sometimes I have dreams of killing other humans and using them as a source of obtaining nutrients, and such. But would that be moral? Worst off, would it be legal? These pig-like humans using laws to convey to their ‘mannerly’ way. Death to them all, I say.
Truly they are pigs! I look at each one of them and can’t stop but think of how they each either resemble a pig, or a monkey. All of them covered in masculine facial hair or disgusting acne. Why, there are only few exceptions to this rule where those very, very few humans DO actually seem evolved enough to consider beautiful. The whole entire human civilizations are nothing more than cunning animals. They are no different. Not different at all, I say. I am starting to believe that maybe computers should take over the world. Yes, humans should create that which will conduct their future lives. It’s for the best of all living things on earth. Our sins lay heavy upon us, and forgiveness is far beyond our grasp.
I suppose God could be the one to blame for this, but then again I could be wrong. I mean, God did give us humans that responsibility to manage the earth, and we made it into a living hell-hole. For those that blame God, I think them wrong. I am not a big fan of his, but to be fair, it’s really not his fault. The only one we are wronging is no one else but him. So, if he gave us the opportunity to try things out, and we messed up, then it’s our fault, and at all for he.