in between
dear internet,
this week has gotten even more bizarre. yesterday afternoon i realised that on friday i'm to be offered the ASM position at my store... i would be working under my good friend alek. now, yesterday i found out that my decision will impact the likelihood of alek getting his income-doubling promotion. i was planning on giving my almost-3 weeks notice (just to be nice) yesterday... but now i'm waiting until friday to give my 2 weeks and a day notice. or am i? to make things even stranger, today i found out that i was hired on as an ASM in training... everyone knew but me. conspiracy much? I found a little hostility from others who have been working years on their promotions.
the job will earn me at least 2.5 times what i'm making now (taking the extra hours and four dollar/hour pay-hike), plus, i'll be in a position of authourity. above that, i'll have been the quickest sales associate promoted to ASM. i'll also be working with 3 friends, in charge of two of them.
my original reasons for leaving hamilton? i'm not happy, healthy, or financially stable. this would change one of these things, yes, but i'm still homeless. and i still have a plane ticket for the 29th of november. that could be pushed back... if i stayed it would only be for a couple of months.. is that worth it? i have to find a new place. i have a few options: finding a 1 bedroom/bach apartment up the mountain where i can breath, but will cost me enough more to discourage the greatness of this; moving back into rachel's basement where i _know_ i run into health problems and issues with being a little awkward (sorry, that's my fault); or see if alek's parents will rent me the apartment in their basement... which would require them to be okay with me sharing their kitchen and living in their house. the last two are the only affordable, yet very bizarre situations.
not to mention my parents & friends in nova scotia. i miss everyone, everything. i really want to be happy. sure, i'll enjoy that job, and have some money to go to school with if i keep it for a little while... but, work will take all my time... and i'll still be left missing everything. what about my parents? i wanted to spend christmas with them... i haven't done that in years. i want a halifax band and halifax parties with cool friends (like all you cool-heads from the south-shore). here it feels one of the only people who will notice i'm gone is my bus driver. was it the same in nova scotia?
i've listened to Faith No More's album "The Real Thing" a few times today. Mike Patton is a genius. he also manages to write those songs that can be related to in strange situations. Falling to Pieces is basically my life today.
Back and forth, I sway with the wind
Resolution slips away again
Right through my fingers, back into my heart
Where it's out of reach and it's in the dark
Sometimes I think I'm blind
Or I may be just paralyzed
Because the plot thickens every day
And the pieces of my puzzle keep crumblin' away
But I know, there's a picture beneath
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens...
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together
Layin' face down on the ground
My fingers in my ears to block the sound
My eyes shut tight to avoid the sight
Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight
Droplets of "yes" and "no"
In an ocean of "maybe"
From the bottom, it looks like a steep incline
From the top, another downhill slope of mine
But I know, the equilibrium's there
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together...
blah. what do i do? i'm on the fence. thank-you to all of you who i've been venting to... i need your help here.
what... do i do?
this week has gotten even more bizarre. yesterday afternoon i realised that on friday i'm to be offered the ASM position at my store... i would be working under my good friend alek. now, yesterday i found out that my decision will impact the likelihood of alek getting his income-doubling promotion. i was planning on giving my almost-3 weeks notice (just to be nice) yesterday... but now i'm waiting until friday to give my 2 weeks and a day notice. or am i? to make things even stranger, today i found out that i was hired on as an ASM in training... everyone knew but me. conspiracy much? I found a little hostility from others who have been working years on their promotions.
the job will earn me at least 2.5 times what i'm making now (taking the extra hours and four dollar/hour pay-hike), plus, i'll be in a position of authourity. above that, i'll have been the quickest sales associate promoted to ASM. i'll also be working with 3 friends, in charge of two of them.
my original reasons for leaving hamilton? i'm not happy, healthy, or financially stable. this would change one of these things, yes, but i'm still homeless. and i still have a plane ticket for the 29th of november. that could be pushed back... if i stayed it would only be for a couple of months.. is that worth it? i have to find a new place. i have a few options: finding a 1 bedroom/bach apartment up the mountain where i can breath, but will cost me enough more to discourage the greatness of this; moving back into rachel's basement where i _know_ i run into health problems and issues with being a little awkward (sorry, that's my fault); or see if alek's parents will rent me the apartment in their basement... which would require them to be okay with me sharing their kitchen and living in their house. the last two are the only affordable, yet very bizarre situations.
not to mention my parents & friends in nova scotia. i miss everyone, everything. i really want to be happy. sure, i'll enjoy that job, and have some money to go to school with if i keep it for a little while... but, work will take all my time... and i'll still be left missing everything. what about my parents? i wanted to spend christmas with them... i haven't done that in years. i want a halifax band and halifax parties with cool friends (like all you cool-heads from the south-shore). here it feels one of the only people who will notice i'm gone is my bus driver. was it the same in nova scotia?
i've listened to Faith No More's album "The Real Thing" a few times today. Mike Patton is a genius. he also manages to write those songs that can be related to in strange situations. Falling to Pieces is basically my life today.
Back and forth, I sway with the wind
Resolution slips away again
Right through my fingers, back into my heart
Where it's out of reach and it's in the dark
Sometimes I think I'm blind
Or I may be just paralyzed
Because the plot thickens every day
And the pieces of my puzzle keep crumblin' away
But I know, there's a picture beneath
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens...
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together
Layin' face down on the ground
My fingers in my ears to block the sound
My eyes shut tight to avoid the sight
Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight
Droplets of "yes" and "no"
In an ocean of "maybe"
From the bottom, it looks like a steep incline
From the top, another downhill slope of mine
But I know, the equilibrium's there
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together...
blah. what do i do? i'm on the fence. thank-you to all of you who i've been venting to... i need your help here.
what... do i do?