What is it about this time of year?

Jun 08, 2010 01:01

In an attempt to avoid my 12 page paper due tomorrow, I need to vent.
Mikey has become one of my best friends over the past 6 months. We spend so much time together, and I can tell him everything. We have a very intimate friendship for 2 people where we cuddle and hug constantly but nothing more. Pete spent months trying to convince us to date, and we were against it because we didnt want to ruin our friendship. Plus he was still into Sara and I was into Steve.
As of a week and a half ago, I started talking to Jim who I met through a friend on my birthday. We talked via text all week and we seem to have a lot in common. We hung out on Friday night and we got along so well. He came to Millers with me and my friends, then we went to his house then met my sister at the Ashton. It was a good night, we learned a lot about eachother and it doesnt bother him that all of my friends are guys. He kissed me goodnight and it was pretty awesome.
Saturday night he was trying to come out after Sara's birthday, but he was stuck at a poker tournament, so at 4am, he and I went to his apartment to hang out. We did a lot of talking, and then we kissed for a little while and kind of dozed off on his couch. Then on Sunday, we went to the movies then to Millers again for the game with my friends. It was a Jim-filled weekend.
Oh but of course the kicker of the weekend... Saturday night, Mikey decided at Sara's grad party to tell me that he liked me. It put me in a terrible position. I love Mikey, I really do, but I don't know if I want to date him. I mean I am really comfortable with him, I trust him, and I know he has had so much bad luck with girls and I'm just making it worse. But I don't think that means I should be dating him. But he is pretty much pissed at me since I won't give him a chance. And to make it even worse, he knows I like Jim, and he wants nothing to do with him, so he won't come near me and Jim.
I really want to give Jim a chance though. I know I haven't known him that long, but I kind of have a good feeling about him. He seems really cool. He's 28 and works at a Pharmacy company and then at night is a personal trainer, so he's kind of ambitious. He's so nice! He always says how I'm cute or adorable or pretty. And we have the same favorite band and favorite song by that band. We're both the middle child. He always talks about his neices and nephews which I think is so cute, he isn't really a huge drinker which is perfect. He's really into sports. He's so respectful! We spent like an hour kissing and that was it, JUST kissing! And he's a good kisser... and when we laid there he was like rubbing my back and stuff, it was so nice. Everyone calls him Ross because he looks like Ross from Friends, my favorite show. He's 6'3 which is awesome because I love tall..and he's in awesome shape. And he seems to be pretty laid back. All qualities that I'd look for in a guy if I thought I could find them. But it worries me cuz I wonder why a 28 year old guy like that would want to date me, so I kind of lack confidence in that area. But I'm willing to see where it goes.
But all that aside, I still don't know what to do about Mikey. I miss him so much! I don't want to lose our friendship! Is Jim worth risking that? But even if Jim wasn't here, would it be enough? Would I have to date Mikey to keep him in my life? I can't do that! Or can I? Am I being too stubborn and selfish?
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