The saddest wedding
A few months ago I went to a modern Orthodox wedding. Both were fatherless. The girl went to the chuppa at her grandfather's arm, and the boy at his mother's.
Interestingly, they were sitted under the chuppa, not standing, and the rabbi said sitting on the kallah's seat was a segular for girls to get married, and the kallah's mom went and sat. I felt so bad for her, especially as people were commenting on it forever, as the deceased's neshama is present at his child (and grandchild)'s wedding. She must be so desperate to go sit among teens and low 20's. It was so sad, that and the two "zal" at the ketuba reading, and the rabbi heavily insisting on the missing fathers (do they really think it's fine to do when a wedding is about joy??).
Guess what, I saw something sadder. A wedding of two kids who happened to be Jewish. No I don't mean secular or atheistic or anything. I mean from their surnames they are the average non Jew, both (indeed both fathers are non Jewish). On their ketuba, both are refered to by their secular name.
In my world, going by a secular name is pretty much the norm, and while in some frum circles the women sometimes don't have a Jewish name, ALL the men have one, from the bris milah. And even a never used Jewish name will be used on the ketubah.
I heard of some people never using the Jewish name and the parents forgetting it, I even heard of the mohel choosing the name because the parents had no clue and I know an old woman who insists her sons, in their late 30's/early 40's, were given their secular name only at the bris. I assumed the mohel gave a random name as the parents didn't have one to give, and the parents, not knowing Hebrew, didn't understand what the name was.
The modern Orthodox bride mentioned above had no Jewish name. Still her father was a rabbi, and he didn't deem it necessary for a girl. But hearing this poor chosson without one, I seriously hoped people didn't start discussing if he even has a bris (nowadays most Jewish boys will have one, but a child of Shoah survivor may not). It was so touching they choose to have a chuppa! I can't help thinking the paperwork must have been hellish. It must be three or four generations that the families had only civil weddings, so they probably had Judaism certificates done...
Interestingly, they were sitted under the chuppa, not standing, and the rabbi said sitting on the kallah's seat was a segular for girls to get married, and the kallah's mom went and sat. I felt so bad for her, especially as people were commenting on it forever, as the deceased's neshama is present at his child (and grandchild)'s wedding. She must be so desperate to go sit among teens and low 20's. It was so sad, that and the two "zal" at the ketuba reading, and the rabbi heavily insisting on the missing fathers (do they really think it's fine to do when a wedding is about joy??).
Guess what, I saw something sadder. A wedding of two kids who happened to be Jewish. No I don't mean secular or atheistic or anything. I mean from their surnames they are the average non Jew, both (indeed both fathers are non Jewish). On their ketuba, both are refered to by their secular name.
In my world, going by a secular name is pretty much the norm, and while in some frum circles the women sometimes don't have a Jewish name, ALL the men have one, from the bris milah. And even a never used Jewish name will be used on the ketubah.
I heard of some people never using the Jewish name and the parents forgetting it, I even heard of the mohel choosing the name because the parents had no clue and I know an old woman who insists her sons, in their late 30's/early 40's, were given their secular name only at the bris. I assumed the mohel gave a random name as the parents didn't have one to give, and the parents, not knowing Hebrew, didn't understand what the name was.
The modern Orthodox bride mentioned above had no Jewish name. Still her father was a rabbi, and he didn't deem it necessary for a girl. But hearing this poor chosson without one, I seriously hoped people didn't start discussing if he even has a bris (nowadays most Jewish boys will have one, but a child of Shoah survivor may not). It was so touching they choose to have a chuppa! I can't help thinking the paperwork must have been hellish. It must be three or four generations that the families had only civil weddings, so they probably had Judaism certificates done...