Dreaming
When I lay down and day dream, it is usually about the same thing.
I lay there and wish that it were possible to cut fat off of the body.
Like one of those avocado slicers. Just run it down the side of my body and pull the fat off in big, jelly-like slivers.
Sometimes it seems too logical - too possible.
It's all fat anyway, nothing vital. Why couldn't I just do it? There's a knife in my kitchen big enough to part the love handles from my body.
I'm 24 and I have high cholesterol.
I'm 24 and I weigh 180 lbs.
I'm 24 and I rarely eat cheese or red meat.
I'm 24 and I had to stop running because of the shin splints.
I'm 24 and college has eaten my optimism, my youth, and my health.
I want the hunger back.
I want to starve.
I want to watch the pounds drop off like melting wax.
I want to burn the fat until the smell makes my stomach grumble.
All I need is to be alone, without school, without friends.
Then I can focus the way I want to.
The only diet that has ever worked for me is obsession.
I lay there and wish that it were possible to cut fat off of the body.
Like one of those avocado slicers. Just run it down the side of my body and pull the fat off in big, jelly-like slivers.
Sometimes it seems too logical - too possible.
It's all fat anyway, nothing vital. Why couldn't I just do it? There's a knife in my kitchen big enough to part the love handles from my body.
I'm 24 and I have high cholesterol.
I'm 24 and I weigh 180 lbs.
I'm 24 and I rarely eat cheese or red meat.
I'm 24 and I had to stop running because of the shin splints.
I'm 24 and college has eaten my optimism, my youth, and my health.
I want the hunger back.
I want to starve.
I want to watch the pounds drop off like melting wax.
I want to burn the fat until the smell makes my stomach grumble.
All I need is to be alone, without school, without friends.
Then I can focus the way I want to.
The only diet that has ever worked for me is obsession.