Thoughts on a spiritual growth-spurt...
So how does one really feel after their ex-wife calls one of her rarer and rarer calls (to think she used to harp on ME for that), and during the course of conversation say, "OH and I'm getting married next week" - meaning this week, if she's not already hitched.
Can't say that it took long enough. Lord knows she's been just seeing her partner for longer than we were married.... guess she wanted to make sure to some extent as well before making such a move again. After she broke me the news, I chuckled slightly to myself before asking, "So who's gonna be there?" Then it was kinda like 'Well, so-and-so's not coming, so-and-so won't be here (insert other so-and-so's here at your leisure)', and the short list went on. While Page is great and I KNOW that my ex will see to her, I can't help but wonder if she has finally begun to see just how independent choice of living has it's various prices. She's well out of the way from the East coast, but one can't also help wonder that the rest of the fam's nonchalant responses to her, are because she was way more interactive (myself as well) with them, and big surprise, they loved me. So it is that one person can have waaaay more of an effect than they realize on the lives of close ones that unfold. So she has all the degree-age to hypothetically give herself the leg up for her 'future', and all she's seemed to do for the past year or so because of lean times, was have to depend on good-intentioned p/t jobs where things would die shortly after beginning (meaning that chicken counting didn't even begin to register as to money NOT going to be gained), or get stiffed from employers due to no funds. Congrats love, you got the life you wanted.... junkies in the alley where you park behind your house, away from T.O. and 'crazy' family (I mean.... who the fuck ISN'T slightly 'off' in these times?), and about to remarry after all this time. Bravo and the best to you.
So I can say that the 'me' I was, and 'her' that she was, are two DIFFERENT people today entirely. Thank God we're not still married as it is, or we would have faced some will-battling. It's only inevitable as I was the older Cancer who had loooong lived on my own, where she a was still studious and ambitious Aries, who always ended up listening to herself in the end; no matter the 'I-told-you-so's' that I had lined up for her or the bad friends' advise that she got. Sure I've also been surfing an absolute financial hell wrought because of her for the last 5 years but hey... life people.
Now some of you may say that I'm just too fuckin' nice to roll a punch like that off the chin... Trust me, it is because of events like that, that I am who I am. No ties, free to discover the rest of the wonderful globe, hang/hook up with family/friends... isn't THAT what life should be for most? I see it this way in my more Cancerian type viewing... I've potentially seen what my ex, a woman I met when she was 19 and is now 30, is GOING to be for the rest of her days, until she makes a decision that would be totally unlike her to break her from that banality. I literally quake at what the promise of any of my tomorrows hold with no fear, save I pass eventually forgotten. See? Even I'M excited at the prospect of my ordeals to come, no matter how wondrous or horrible (although I have had QUITE enough of the horrible :P)
That said, let's celebrate at two things that I'll be doin'
• Gidget's second burlesque show, revampin' one of my older acts for revision ^_~
• I'll be DJing at the NEU+RAL nightclub for Local 349 BARFLY Union Industry Monday on April 10th. Here's where I'll be playing the best of what I like that I've either never played anywhere or rarely if ever played, so come enjoy this personable night with your's truly...
Can't say that it took long enough. Lord knows she's been just seeing her partner for longer than we were married.... guess she wanted to make sure to some extent as well before making such a move again. After she broke me the news, I chuckled slightly to myself before asking, "So who's gonna be there?" Then it was kinda like 'Well, so-and-so's not coming, so-and-so won't be here (insert other so-and-so's here at your leisure)', and the short list went on. While Page is great and I KNOW that my ex will see to her, I can't help but wonder if she has finally begun to see just how independent choice of living has it's various prices. She's well out of the way from the East coast, but one can't also help wonder that the rest of the fam's nonchalant responses to her, are because she was way more interactive (myself as well) with them, and big surprise, they loved me. So it is that one person can have waaaay more of an effect than they realize on the lives of close ones that unfold. So she has all the degree-age to hypothetically give herself the leg up for her 'future', and all she's seemed to do for the past year or so because of lean times, was have to depend on good-intentioned p/t jobs where things would die shortly after beginning (meaning that chicken counting didn't even begin to register as to money NOT going to be gained), or get stiffed from employers due to no funds. Congrats love, you got the life you wanted.... junkies in the alley where you park behind your house, away from T.O. and 'crazy' family (I mean.... who the fuck ISN'T slightly 'off' in these times?), and about to remarry after all this time. Bravo and the best to you.
So I can say that the 'me' I was, and 'her' that she was, are two DIFFERENT people today entirely. Thank God we're not still married as it is, or we would have faced some will-battling. It's only inevitable as I was the older Cancer who had loooong lived on my own, where she a was still studious and ambitious Aries, who always ended up listening to herself in the end; no matter the 'I-told-you-so's' that I had lined up for her or the bad friends' advise that she got. Sure I've also been surfing an absolute financial hell wrought because of her for the last 5 years but hey... life people.
Now some of you may say that I'm just too fuckin' nice to roll a punch like that off the chin... Trust me, it is because of events like that, that I am who I am. No ties, free to discover the rest of the wonderful globe, hang/hook up with family/friends... isn't THAT what life should be for most? I see it this way in my more Cancerian type viewing... I've potentially seen what my ex, a woman I met when she was 19 and is now 30, is GOING to be for the rest of her days, until she makes a decision that would be totally unlike her to break her from that banality. I literally quake at what the promise of any of my tomorrows hold with no fear, save I pass eventually forgotten. See? Even I'M excited at the prospect of my ordeals to come, no matter how wondrous or horrible (although I have had QUITE enough of the horrible :P)
That said, let's celebrate at two things that I'll be doin'
• Gidget's second burlesque show, revampin' one of my older acts for revision ^_~
• I'll be DJing at the NEU+RAL nightclub for Local 349 BARFLY Union Industry Monday on April 10th. Here's where I'll be playing the best of what I like that I've either never played anywhere or rarely if ever played, so come enjoy this personable night with your's truly...