music to *bang* to
i hate music during sex. hate it. Ok, let me rephrase. I hate when you're going at whatever, maybe making out on a couch, and someone already has a "smooth jazz sex mix" all ready in the cd player and hits play. UGHHHH!!! no smooth jazz sex mix! can't we just fuck in quiet if the quiet is there?
What I hate even more? let's say the stereo is already on. You're listening to some hardcore gangsta rap. Shit starts heating up, and out comes the remote so you can CHANGE THE DAMN CD to the smooth jazz sex mix! dammit! just leave the music be! we were already going! now you've 1. fucked up the mood while you were trying to turn on the cd and 2. fucked up my mood because now I think you're a cornball who needs "music to fuck to". There's a transition people! If you know you want sex that night, put on the damn smooth jazz sex mix from jump street. If you invited someone over to watch Kill Bill and shit starts heating up during the fight scene in the bar, well I'm sorry, you should've thought ahead. Now you have to fuck during the fight scene. I'd even appreciate a corny transition if you have to. Say the fight scene is on, but you would really rather fuck in the company of your smooth jazz sex mix. Give me a corny ass line or something like "Hey, I really want you to hear this song." turn off or pause the movie, then proceed with the smooth jazz sex mix. Yes it is corny, and I'll probably make fun of you for it later, but atleast I won't think you're a cornball. corny is way better than cornball.
Don't think this means that I've had sex recently. I haven't had sex in so long, I think my virginity is growing back. ok, that may be a stretch, but still. I remember hearing a line in a Green Day song back when I was about 12. It's from "Longview" and he says, "when masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking lazy". And I thought, why would masturbation ever lose its fun? that shit will always and forever be fun. Well, i'm not lazy, but damn it's lost its fun. I really just want to get some sex. like seriously, sex. even bad sex would be ok right about now. And my poor pocket rocket... her batteries died mid-session last week. I thought I'd be pissed, but I robbed my other, less capable pocket rocket of her batteries and finished the job, though weakly. Yeah, and the big O has been getting smaller and smaller with each passage of time. sometimes I get so bored I just stop.
my teeth are itching and my hands are shaking. i've had less than a quarter cup of coffee but I think Dunkin just does that to me. i look like a fiend. i don't even like coffee but today was one of those days.
What I hate even more? let's say the stereo is already on. You're listening to some hardcore gangsta rap. Shit starts heating up, and out comes the remote so you can CHANGE THE DAMN CD to the smooth jazz sex mix! dammit! just leave the music be! we were already going! now you've 1. fucked up the mood while you were trying to turn on the cd and 2. fucked up my mood because now I think you're a cornball who needs "music to fuck to". There's a transition people! If you know you want sex that night, put on the damn smooth jazz sex mix from jump street. If you invited someone over to watch Kill Bill and shit starts heating up during the fight scene in the bar, well I'm sorry, you should've thought ahead. Now you have to fuck during the fight scene. I'd even appreciate a corny transition if you have to. Say the fight scene is on, but you would really rather fuck in the company of your smooth jazz sex mix. Give me a corny ass line or something like "Hey, I really want you to hear this song." turn off or pause the movie, then proceed with the smooth jazz sex mix. Yes it is corny, and I'll probably make fun of you for it later, but atleast I won't think you're a cornball. corny is way better than cornball.
Don't think this means that I've had sex recently. I haven't had sex in so long, I think my virginity is growing back. ok, that may be a stretch, but still. I remember hearing a line in a Green Day song back when I was about 12. It's from "Longview" and he says, "when masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking lazy". And I thought, why would masturbation ever lose its fun? that shit will always and forever be fun. Well, i'm not lazy, but damn it's lost its fun. I really just want to get some sex. like seriously, sex. even bad sex would be ok right about now. And my poor pocket rocket... her batteries died mid-session last week. I thought I'd be pissed, but I robbed my other, less capable pocket rocket of her batteries and finished the job, though weakly. Yeah, and the big O has been getting smaller and smaller with each passage of time. sometimes I get so bored I just stop.
my teeth are itching and my hands are shaking. i've had less than a quarter cup of coffee but I think Dunkin just does that to me. i look like a fiend. i don't even like coffee but today was one of those days.