nobody wanna see us togeeeeether but it don't maaaaaaaatter no
The longer I work in this office, the more I see how much it would benefit me to be bilingual. I've always wanted to learn Spanish. I'm actually surprised that I've lived in Hartford my whole life and still can't speak it fluently, but now working here I can see that I could go so much further being bilingual. Not to mention when and if I start teaching. Of course I plan to teach inner-city, and I'm bound to come across parents that don't speak English. It'll be easier if I can at least know Spanish. Since I actually passed my French courses, by the time I graduate I'll hopefully be able to hold a stammering conversation in that.
So I'm looking into Rosetta Stone software because taking courses and memorizing just doesn't seem to work for me. I tried twice and got an F the first time, D the second, and still couldn't pass the placement test. At least Rosetta is a different approach (and cheaper than risking another fail by taking the course again). We'll see, but I'm really looking into it.
i sort of want to see that cockamamie movie with the girl that has a machine gun for a leg. it looks ridiculous, but I hear Tarantino and want to see anything ever made by him. I'll wait for video though. I haven't even been to the movies in quite some time.
Today is payday, which is great. I'm going out with some co-workers after work to do some karaoke. I don't know how I'm all of a sudden the office performer, but sometimes you need the aggressive release that only singing top 40 tunes in front of strangers can provide. Tomorrow I'll be taking it easy, probably cleaning the house. then my Uncle Ray's birthday party at Sake, where I'll get some bangin Japanese food. after that I'll hit up Partners with the homegirls. I NEED to dance to take the edge off this shitty two weeks. hahaha, I feel like the girls Dane Cook talked about. what sucks is that, yet again, my paycheck is already gone. I hate bills so much!
Did I also mention that I need my birth control? I was considering stopping because it made me so sleepy and I thought I could handle the cramps, but turns out the cramps are horrific, and my mood swings are really severe, as you can tell this past week on lj alone. I was talking to my mom last night and telling her how I didn't even have mood swings before the pill but now all of a sudden I do, and then she reminded me about how severe my mood swings were when I was about 7 or 8, my period hadn't even started yet but I would bite my brother's head off just for looking at me funny, then I'd cry over the dumbest shit. i remember my mom telling my brother to just leave me alone sometimes because I was seriously such a bitch to him. I can't believe I forgot that.
So now I guess I'm stuck on birth control even though I never remember it and it makes me too sleepy. and I didn't want to need daily medication for anything, but I guess I don't really have a choice in this unless I want to feel as horrible as I did this past week for 12 weeks out of the year. such bullshit. grr. I'm going to talk to my Dr. and see if there's any other way. We'll see how I am next month. maybe this week really was that bad and I don't have bad mood swings after all. that reminds me, I need to call and schedule my pap.
Last night was good. It's gonna sound weird, but I felt sad and I was actually happy to be feeling sad. I try not to embrace sadness. I let myself feel it from time to time, but also try to get happy as soon as possible. But with yesterday, the sadness was just there. It just was what it was. I didn't try to change it or rush it out or tell myself "it'll be ok", I just let myself feel it, and listened to sad songs, and thought about sad thoughts, and then I went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I felt fantastic. I just think I needed to let myself be sad. I didn't cry, but I just let the emotion fill me for a while until it passed. and now I'm good.
So I'm looking into Rosetta Stone software because taking courses and memorizing just doesn't seem to work for me. I tried twice and got an F the first time, D the second, and still couldn't pass the placement test. At least Rosetta is a different approach (and cheaper than risking another fail by taking the course again). We'll see, but I'm really looking into it.
i sort of want to see that cockamamie movie with the girl that has a machine gun for a leg. it looks ridiculous, but I hear Tarantino and want to see anything ever made by him. I'll wait for video though. I haven't even been to the movies in quite some time.
Today is payday, which is great. I'm going out with some co-workers after work to do some karaoke. I don't know how I'm all of a sudden the office performer, but sometimes you need the aggressive release that only singing top 40 tunes in front of strangers can provide. Tomorrow I'll be taking it easy, probably cleaning the house. then my Uncle Ray's birthday party at Sake, where I'll get some bangin Japanese food. after that I'll hit up Partners with the homegirls. I NEED to dance to take the edge off this shitty two weeks. hahaha, I feel like the girls Dane Cook talked about. what sucks is that, yet again, my paycheck is already gone. I hate bills so much!
Did I also mention that I need my birth control? I was considering stopping because it made me so sleepy and I thought I could handle the cramps, but turns out the cramps are horrific, and my mood swings are really severe, as you can tell this past week on lj alone. I was talking to my mom last night and telling her how I didn't even have mood swings before the pill but now all of a sudden I do, and then she reminded me about how severe my mood swings were when I was about 7 or 8, my period hadn't even started yet but I would bite my brother's head off just for looking at me funny, then I'd cry over the dumbest shit. i remember my mom telling my brother to just leave me alone sometimes because I was seriously such a bitch to him. I can't believe I forgot that.
So now I guess I'm stuck on birth control even though I never remember it and it makes me too sleepy. and I didn't want to need daily medication for anything, but I guess I don't really have a choice in this unless I want to feel as horrible as I did this past week for 12 weeks out of the year. such bullshit. grr. I'm going to talk to my Dr. and see if there's any other way. We'll see how I am next month. maybe this week really was that bad and I don't have bad mood swings after all. that reminds me, I need to call and schedule my pap.
Last night was good. It's gonna sound weird, but I felt sad and I was actually happy to be feeling sad. I try not to embrace sadness. I let myself feel it from time to time, but also try to get happy as soon as possible. But with yesterday, the sadness was just there. It just was what it was. I didn't try to change it or rush it out or tell myself "it'll be ok", I just let myself feel it, and listened to sad songs, and thought about sad thoughts, and then I went to bed. When I woke up this morning, I felt fantastic. I just think I needed to let myself be sad. I didn't cry, but I just let the emotion fill me for a while until it passed. and now I'm good.