(no subject)
It's become very hard to live in my house. As I'm sure I've expressed 1 million and 1 times, my house is a sty. My mom, dad and brother are all packrats. It's not even that they're dirty people, they just don't know how to let go. My mother is box queen. She puts everything she's ever owned in a box, then forgets about it. Then, if you go through the boxes, she won't let you throw anything away. Because she might need it. We have pots and pans that she and my father owned in their first apartment together. She says she's saving them in case someone needs them. These pots are from before the days of Teflon coating, so even my most desperate of friends won't take them. She wanted me to take them when I moved out but I refused.
On the back porch, We have a portable closet thingie, which I keep my seasonal clothes in. Half is full of my clothes, all of which I wear by the way. The other half is clothing my mother hasn't worn in atleast 10-15 years. None of it fits, and everything is out of style. I call this one dress her Daisy-Mae Haystack dress cuz it's so unbelievably country. If she ever wore it again she'd be disowned.
Any attempts to get rid of things in our house are thwarted my either my mother or father. My mother suggested we throw out the ugly green couch, yet my father says we should keep it. considering no one ever sits on it because it's THE most broken, uncomfortable love seat in the world, it should go. Yet my father says no. My mother wants to get rid of our dining room table. Father says no. We don't entertain. Our house is way too messy for that and my family has this weird hermit thing going on where they don't like guests. We all eat around the TV, in our rooms, or we go out to eat. I can't remember the last time I ate anything at that table. The thing is useless. We cover it in bills and papers and other odds and ends. About 5 months goes by, my mother gets in a cleaning frenzy and throws everything out. The table stays clean for a week, then it's covered again.
I can't live here in a house like this anymore. I want to live somewhere where I can feel free to invite guests over and not have to try to act like the mess doesnt exist, or forewarn them before entering. I don't like feeling like my room is the only refuge. I want to live on my own, or just in a cleaner environment. But I've tried for years and it looks like there's no changing them. So i guess the only choice I have is to clean up.
There is one more way though. My parents bought a timeshare. It's in Rhode Island and our week to use it is the last one in February. My vacation time hasn't started yet so I can't take that week off. Plus, after New York this summer I've decided to take a considerable break from family vacations. But my mother said even if she has to spend her vacation in cold Rhode Island, she's going to somewhere. So I guess it'll just be her and my dad and most likely my brother will follow suit. Everytime I have a plan to completely rid this house of crap, my parents don't do their vacation, or i'm not home when they do. This time, it's happening. I need to rid this house of its filth. It's much worse than it's ever been. All I plan to do that week is work, and when I get home, clean. I know it won't be so seamless, but I really need this.
I've sort of hinted to my mother that if the state of the house doesn't change, then I can't live here anymore, but she just blames it on me. "Who's plate is that in the living room from lunch this afternoon! And when's the last time you've cleaned the bathroom?" Well, one dirty plate in the living room is nothing compared to the piles and piles of her, my dad, and my deceased grandmother's crap that floods our living room. And I clean the bathroom ALL THE TIME because I can't shower in a dirty one. But I'm not as on top of my game because it's getting hard to be the sole janitor of the bathroom. I've given up on the kitchen.
It's just so frustrating. We've lost an entire hallway of our house because my mother clogged it up with crap. Now instead of walking to the bathroom right next door, I have to go all the way around to the kitchen. I mean, it's not a serious trek or anything, I'm not that lazy. I'm just emphasizing the fact that we no longer have a hallway!
I couldn't do this with her being home. I've tried. yet all she does is micromanage me, say "no, no, this old tattered rag has to stay because I could use it for nothing of immediate importance!" and in the end, all I've done is moved the junk around.
I'm so very frustrated. At my wit's end because of it. I come home and I'm just so freaking sad. And I know it's the house. It's just got serious negative energy. I love my family, I love living with my family, but not if we have to live like this. The house is already small enough, why make it smaller by crowding it with junk? I just feel so alone, because I tell my brother and he honestly does not care. Couldn't care less about the state of the house. I tell my father and he blames my mother. And briefly, I'll think he's on my side, then I see he's just as bad as she. And like I said before, my mother blames me or whoever brings it up. She deep down knows she has a problem. A doctor even diagnosed it as a form of OCD. And I've read cases of OCD, and I know it's a serious problem that is very very hard to just shake from. But this is a problem. Seriously, it is. If it were just contained to her room, I probably wouldn't care. But it's a WHOLE HOUSE. We have a closet back there that we never ever use.
If I were home right now, I'd start while she's at work. I could do it while she naps on the couch this evening. sneak some things out the door. seriously... let's put this plan into fruition. Is that how u spell fruition?
On the back porch, We have a portable closet thingie, which I keep my seasonal clothes in. Half is full of my clothes, all of which I wear by the way. The other half is clothing my mother hasn't worn in atleast 10-15 years. None of it fits, and everything is out of style. I call this one dress her Daisy-Mae Haystack dress cuz it's so unbelievably country. If she ever wore it again she'd be disowned.
Any attempts to get rid of things in our house are thwarted my either my mother or father. My mother suggested we throw out the ugly green couch, yet my father says we should keep it. considering no one ever sits on it because it's THE most broken, uncomfortable love seat in the world, it should go. Yet my father says no. My mother wants to get rid of our dining room table. Father says no. We don't entertain. Our house is way too messy for that and my family has this weird hermit thing going on where they don't like guests. We all eat around the TV, in our rooms, or we go out to eat. I can't remember the last time I ate anything at that table. The thing is useless. We cover it in bills and papers and other odds and ends. About 5 months goes by, my mother gets in a cleaning frenzy and throws everything out. The table stays clean for a week, then it's covered again.
I can't live here in a house like this anymore. I want to live somewhere where I can feel free to invite guests over and not have to try to act like the mess doesnt exist, or forewarn them before entering. I don't like feeling like my room is the only refuge. I want to live on my own, or just in a cleaner environment. But I've tried for years and it looks like there's no changing them. So i guess the only choice I have is to clean up.
There is one more way though. My parents bought a timeshare. It's in Rhode Island and our week to use it is the last one in February. My vacation time hasn't started yet so I can't take that week off. Plus, after New York this summer I've decided to take a considerable break from family vacations. But my mother said even if she has to spend her vacation in cold Rhode Island, she's going to somewhere. So I guess it'll just be her and my dad and most likely my brother will follow suit. Everytime I have a plan to completely rid this house of crap, my parents don't do their vacation, or i'm not home when they do. This time, it's happening. I need to rid this house of its filth. It's much worse than it's ever been. All I plan to do that week is work, and when I get home, clean. I know it won't be so seamless, but I really need this.
I've sort of hinted to my mother that if the state of the house doesn't change, then I can't live here anymore, but she just blames it on me. "Who's plate is that in the living room from lunch this afternoon! And when's the last time you've cleaned the bathroom?" Well, one dirty plate in the living room is nothing compared to the piles and piles of her, my dad, and my deceased grandmother's crap that floods our living room. And I clean the bathroom ALL THE TIME because I can't shower in a dirty one. But I'm not as on top of my game because it's getting hard to be the sole janitor of the bathroom. I've given up on the kitchen.
It's just so frustrating. We've lost an entire hallway of our house because my mother clogged it up with crap. Now instead of walking to the bathroom right next door, I have to go all the way around to the kitchen. I mean, it's not a serious trek or anything, I'm not that lazy. I'm just emphasizing the fact that we no longer have a hallway!
I couldn't do this with her being home. I've tried. yet all she does is micromanage me, say "no, no, this old tattered rag has to stay because I could use it for nothing of immediate importance!" and in the end, all I've done is moved the junk around.
I'm so very frustrated. At my wit's end because of it. I come home and I'm just so freaking sad. And I know it's the house. It's just got serious negative energy. I love my family, I love living with my family, but not if we have to live like this. The house is already small enough, why make it smaller by crowding it with junk? I just feel so alone, because I tell my brother and he honestly does not care. Couldn't care less about the state of the house. I tell my father and he blames my mother. And briefly, I'll think he's on my side, then I see he's just as bad as she. And like I said before, my mother blames me or whoever brings it up. She deep down knows she has a problem. A doctor even diagnosed it as a form of OCD. And I've read cases of OCD, and I know it's a serious problem that is very very hard to just shake from. But this is a problem. Seriously, it is. If it were just contained to her room, I probably wouldn't care. But it's a WHOLE HOUSE. We have a closet back there that we never ever use.
If I were home right now, I'd start while she's at work. I could do it while she naps on the couch this evening. sneak some things out the door. seriously... let's put this plan into fruition. Is that how u spell fruition?