(no subject)
Got into a discussion with someone at work the other day about religion and politics.
I know...bad idea, but it was slow and I was bored and I got drawn and carried away.
The nickel version is that I got asked to outline what my belief system entailed. For my friends who've known me a long time, they know it's been a long, convoluted journey for me. I started out as basically nothing as a child. When my mother started dating again, we enjoyed a brief stint as baptists. I say enjoyed in the most sarcastic sense I can must because my recollection of going to church was having to go to sunday school classes with kids who thought I was a jackass because I didn't know as much scripture as they did. I would have much rather enjoyed sitting in the sanctuary with my mom listening to the sermon. And I did. I paid attention to bits and pieces, but for the most part, I played with paper dolls and had a much better time surrounded by adults.
Then Mom got remarried and my religious beliefs lapsed once more into that nether-void where we had basic faith in God, but didn't bother with the church crap.
In high school, I began to explore alternative religions. I landed on Wicca because it was the most out there, and would appropriately set me apart as "different." Unfortunately, the bipolarism and hysterical dramatics of the family I practiced with (not my own) soured me on the whole New Age thing.
Again, I returned to focusing more on my life than what ritual or church meeting was going on.
In college, I began to think that maybe I was being called to God. I thought this because I was in love with a guy who was called to God. I went to church with him, and even after the whole relationship blew up, I still found myself surrounded by Pentacostals, raising their hands and spewing gibberish. I will say that I did find that particular church to be a bit more intellectual. The pastor was a wonderful speaker, firmly believed in christianity, and seemed to be a nice guy. He was adamant that his congregation minister to the poor community surrounding, and was more than happy to let the youth group play Christian rock for some of the morning services. They were good. Central Assembly has always had points in my book for being a largely positive experience. I have a Religious Studies minor from Missouri State University to remind me of this time in my life. A memento from the "I'm a Pentacostal" phase.
But eventually, I went back, as I always did, to the beliefs of my early childhood- that is, be a good person and the rest will fall into place.
Since then, I've done quite a bit of thinking on the matter. When my Papa Art died, I thought alot of about what comes after. I've done shit in my life that I never mentioned to any living soul. If we think, then, that all is revealed when we cross that mysterious viel into Death, what must my dead relatives think about me and the bad stuff I've done? I haven't fully reconciled that guilt, but I think I'm on my way. How would I feel if I found out the same things about a relative I loved dearly? I'd like to think it wouldn't matter.
Anyhow, the afterlife, if any, guided me into more fully defining my belief system. College had the extremely wierd effect of both polarizing my basic faith, and proving to me that religion is mythological bullshit. Living bodies, for example. Even taking into account the vestigal organs, it still blows me away how muscles, sinews, blood, and brain work together. It bears the hallmarks of basic evolution- Everything down to sea anemones has a nervous system. Human beings are animals. We are capable of conceptualization, but we are still animals. Yet, what wonderfully neat and accounted for animals! Everything in our bodies serves a purpose. Everything is accounted for. Everything, so incredibly complex. It is as if a master engineer tinkered away for fifty years and debuted his magnum opus.
But I digress.
Learning what I did in college put the finishing touches on my belief system. I am agnostic. I don't know what's out there. I don't know how we came about. Maybe God caused the Big Bang. Who the hell knows? Not me. Not the men in the pulpits. Not the ladies reading Bible passages to kids in the basements of their churches. Not the Dalai Lama or the Pope. No one is wrong. No one is right.
My belief is that my emotions, my personality, my thoughts and mind are my soul. It's too complex to be chemical reactions. But it's not as complex as religious doctrine. If we were to go by the basic premise that God is the perfect father, then we have an ultimate being who is the embodiment of perfect love and perfect acceptance. The ideal parent is there to love and discipline. He/She picks you up when you fall and skin your knees. He/She comes to get you when you've had too much to drink at a party and are scared to sleep there or drive home. He/She might be a little pissed at you, but it doesn't change how they view you. He/She doesn't care if you're gay, so long as your prospective partner treats you with respect, love, and dignity. Even if you're evil, you can be redeemed. You can make amends, no matter how long it will take. You are still loved, and once you fix your fuckups, and learn your lesson, you're fine. A perfect parent doesn't delight in the heinous bullshit that their child pulls, but still loves them, and will help them to fix things if the kid is sincere in doing so.
I mean, shit, I could go on and on about this, but I think you get the gist. That's my idea of what God is. A sexless, formless, obscure perfect parent.
It makes me sad when people get too caught up in protocol. It's like George Carlin said about swearing on the Bible. If you put the wrong hand on the book and raise the wrong hand, does God care? Does he/she really give such a fuck about details? Does God really care what you're wearing when you show up for family time? Does God really care if your best friend has a raging case of herpes and smokes pot? Does God really give a damn if your roommate is a non-churchgoing member of the opposite sex? Does God really care if you're sleeping with your significant other, so long as you're being safe and no one's forced to do something they don't want to do? Does God really think that women belong in the kitchen and at their husbands' feet, yet still gave women the capacity to reason out quantum mechanics and complex mathematical algorithims?
No, no, no, and no.
The supreme being, if it really exists, is infinite and perfect love. All he expects is that we behave with a modicum of decency towards others and love towards those who need it. Which is everyone.
That's my belief system. Be the best you that you can be.
I know...bad idea, but it was slow and I was bored and I got drawn and carried away.
The nickel version is that I got asked to outline what my belief system entailed. For my friends who've known me a long time, they know it's been a long, convoluted journey for me. I started out as basically nothing as a child. When my mother started dating again, we enjoyed a brief stint as baptists. I say enjoyed in the most sarcastic sense I can must because my recollection of going to church was having to go to sunday school classes with kids who thought I was a jackass because I didn't know as much scripture as they did. I would have much rather enjoyed sitting in the sanctuary with my mom listening to the sermon. And I did. I paid attention to bits and pieces, but for the most part, I played with paper dolls and had a much better time surrounded by adults.
Then Mom got remarried and my religious beliefs lapsed once more into that nether-void where we had basic faith in God, but didn't bother with the church crap.
In high school, I began to explore alternative religions. I landed on Wicca because it was the most out there, and would appropriately set me apart as "different." Unfortunately, the bipolarism and hysterical dramatics of the family I practiced with (not my own) soured me on the whole New Age thing.
Again, I returned to focusing more on my life than what ritual or church meeting was going on.
In college, I began to think that maybe I was being called to God. I thought this because I was in love with a guy who was called to God. I went to church with him, and even after the whole relationship blew up, I still found myself surrounded by Pentacostals, raising their hands and spewing gibberish. I will say that I did find that particular church to be a bit more intellectual. The pastor was a wonderful speaker, firmly believed in christianity, and seemed to be a nice guy. He was adamant that his congregation minister to the poor community surrounding, and was more than happy to let the youth group play Christian rock for some of the morning services. They were good. Central Assembly has always had points in my book for being a largely positive experience. I have a Religious Studies minor from Missouri State University to remind me of this time in my life. A memento from the "I'm a Pentacostal" phase.
But eventually, I went back, as I always did, to the beliefs of my early childhood- that is, be a good person and the rest will fall into place.
Since then, I've done quite a bit of thinking on the matter. When my Papa Art died, I thought alot of about what comes after. I've done shit in my life that I never mentioned to any living soul. If we think, then, that all is revealed when we cross that mysterious viel into Death, what must my dead relatives think about me and the bad stuff I've done? I haven't fully reconciled that guilt, but I think I'm on my way. How would I feel if I found out the same things about a relative I loved dearly? I'd like to think it wouldn't matter.
Anyhow, the afterlife, if any, guided me into more fully defining my belief system. College had the extremely wierd effect of both polarizing my basic faith, and proving to me that religion is mythological bullshit. Living bodies, for example. Even taking into account the vestigal organs, it still blows me away how muscles, sinews, blood, and brain work together. It bears the hallmarks of basic evolution- Everything down to sea anemones has a nervous system. Human beings are animals. We are capable of conceptualization, but we are still animals. Yet, what wonderfully neat and accounted for animals! Everything in our bodies serves a purpose. Everything is accounted for. Everything, so incredibly complex. It is as if a master engineer tinkered away for fifty years and debuted his magnum opus.
But I digress.
Learning what I did in college put the finishing touches on my belief system. I am agnostic. I don't know what's out there. I don't know how we came about. Maybe God caused the Big Bang. Who the hell knows? Not me. Not the men in the pulpits. Not the ladies reading Bible passages to kids in the basements of their churches. Not the Dalai Lama or the Pope. No one is wrong. No one is right.
My belief is that my emotions, my personality, my thoughts and mind are my soul. It's too complex to be chemical reactions. But it's not as complex as religious doctrine. If we were to go by the basic premise that God is the perfect father, then we have an ultimate being who is the embodiment of perfect love and perfect acceptance. The ideal parent is there to love and discipline. He/She picks you up when you fall and skin your knees. He/She comes to get you when you've had too much to drink at a party and are scared to sleep there or drive home. He/She might be a little pissed at you, but it doesn't change how they view you. He/She doesn't care if you're gay, so long as your prospective partner treats you with respect, love, and dignity. Even if you're evil, you can be redeemed. You can make amends, no matter how long it will take. You are still loved, and once you fix your fuckups, and learn your lesson, you're fine. A perfect parent doesn't delight in the heinous bullshit that their child pulls, but still loves them, and will help them to fix things if the kid is sincere in doing so.
I mean, shit, I could go on and on about this, but I think you get the gist. That's my idea of what God is. A sexless, formless, obscure perfect parent.
It makes me sad when people get too caught up in protocol. It's like George Carlin said about swearing on the Bible. If you put the wrong hand on the book and raise the wrong hand, does God care? Does he/she really give such a fuck about details? Does God really care what you're wearing when you show up for family time? Does God really care if your best friend has a raging case of herpes and smokes pot? Does God really give a damn if your roommate is a non-churchgoing member of the opposite sex? Does God really care if you're sleeping with your significant other, so long as you're being safe and no one's forced to do something they don't want to do? Does God really think that women belong in the kitchen and at their husbands' feet, yet still gave women the capacity to reason out quantum mechanics and complex mathematical algorithims?
No, no, no, and no.
The supreme being, if it really exists, is infinite and perfect love. All he expects is that we behave with a modicum of decency towards others and love towards those who need it. Which is everyone.
That's my belief system. Be the best you that you can be.