OH MY F-ING GOD!
So tonight ali_wildgoose came over and drank vodka with Cassie and I in the crazy brownstone apartment and discussed plans for her epic comic which will totally blow the roof off the industry and Cassie and I bragged about how we had yet to see a single cockroach in our apartment.
The Gods of New York were quick to punish us for this unpardonable hubris.
No sooner had I sent the talented Ms. Wildgoose home with the lame excuse that I am lame (which is actually true) and have to work tomorrow, and settled in for the night when i noticed a GIANT shadow moving behind my curtain. Could it be a squirrel? Perhaps a bird which had accidentally flown in my window? Oh, but it moved in such a creepy mechanical way...
I pulled the blind back and saw the largest scariest roach I have seen in New York since that one time in the dorm when there was a roach so big I was afraid it would try to eat my goldfish.
I screamed. Cassie stopped writing and came running in from the next room.
C: WHAT?
R: GIANT ROACH!!! *shakes with fear and revulsion*
C: Spray it with windex!
R: Not enough windex in the world! WAAAH!
C: Pour dishwashing detergent on it!
R: Does that work?
C: It dissolves them. *nods sagely*
R: Cool, but I can't get close enough, I'm SOOO SCARED!!
C: *laughing at my cowardice* Dustbust it!
R: I think the dustbuster might not be big enough!
C: Surely not, just pour it right on....
R: *pulls back curtain*
C: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we took a broom and we hit the curtain until it jumped (JUMPED!) onto the sill, where I watched with a huge photo album in hand as it crawled across my belongings. I tried to lift my jewelry box out of its way and it flipped to the floor where I dropped the album on it. It made a satisfying "thunk". We breathed a sigh of relief and rejoiced briefly at its demise.
Cassie lifted the photo album to clean up and *IT CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER IT*!!!
At which point we both screamed (see subject of this entry).
She threw the album back down and I jumped on it for a while, then we poured dishwashing detergent all over the album and surrounding floor. That killed it. Then I decided I needed another drink.
So I am updating lj for the first time in a long time to find some catharsis and talk myself down. Oh. My. F-ing. God.
Never never NEVER will I brag about not having roaches again. Fuggedaboutit. This is New York, no one doesn't have roaches, and if you think you don't I have two words for you...
Don't Sleep.
The Gods of New York were quick to punish us for this unpardonable hubris.
No sooner had I sent the talented Ms. Wildgoose home with the lame excuse that I am lame (which is actually true) and have to work tomorrow, and settled in for the night when i noticed a GIANT shadow moving behind my curtain. Could it be a squirrel? Perhaps a bird which had accidentally flown in my window? Oh, but it moved in such a creepy mechanical way...
I pulled the blind back and saw the largest scariest roach I have seen in New York since that one time in the dorm when there was a roach so big I was afraid it would try to eat my goldfish.
I screamed. Cassie stopped writing and came running in from the next room.
C: WHAT?
R: GIANT ROACH!!! *shakes with fear and revulsion*
C: Spray it with windex!
R: Not enough windex in the world! WAAAH!
C: Pour dishwashing detergent on it!
R: Does that work?
C: It dissolves them. *nods sagely*
R: Cool, but I can't get close enough, I'm SOOO SCARED!!
C: *laughing at my cowardice* Dustbust it!
R: I think the dustbuster might not be big enough!
C: Surely not, just pour it right on....
R: *pulls back curtain*
C: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we took a broom and we hit the curtain until it jumped (JUMPED!) onto the sill, where I watched with a huge photo album in hand as it crawled across my belongings. I tried to lift my jewelry box out of its way and it flipped to the floor where I dropped the album on it. It made a satisfying "thunk". We breathed a sigh of relief and rejoiced briefly at its demise.
Cassie lifted the photo album to clean up and *IT CRAWLED OUT FROM UNDER IT*!!!
At which point we both screamed (see subject of this entry).
She threw the album back down and I jumped on it for a while, then we poured dishwashing detergent all over the album and surrounding floor. That killed it. Then I decided I needed another drink.
So I am updating lj for the first time in a long time to find some catharsis and talk myself down. Oh. My. F-ing. God.
Never never NEVER will I brag about not having roaches again. Fuggedaboutit. This is New York, no one doesn't have roaches, and if you think you don't I have two words for you...
Don't Sleep.