Frustration
Here is a warning for those who start reading this: I wrote this mostly for myself. It's just to get a few frustrations out and I'm sorry if I sound depressed or anything like that. I'm not depressed, just frustrated at things. I have come to the conclusion that I'm not all that thrilled being poor. I know I've been somewhat poor all my life, but not quite as poor as I am at the moment. I guess you realize that you're poor when you can't go shopping anymore, even for food. You eat what you have in your house. For me, that consists of ramen, spaghetti, and pancakes or waffles. Occasionally, I have chips and salsa, a Christmas gift from my parents.
I know I shouldn't complain, and it really isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, but sometimes I get kind of down about it. I guess it's just one of those after-effects from school. I get stressed out about school too often, but this time it's because I'm confused about assignments. I know that's because two of my classes are online this semester and you have to read everything extra carefully, because nobody is there to explain it to you if you have any questions. On top of school assignments, my work is having me move to teach the school age children at the child care center ao I have to prepare lessons for them every day. This adds on a whole lot of work for a job I only have about 10 hours a week. I guess I'm just really frusterated with life right now. Everything is stressing me out.
Jordan says that I need to find friends to spend time with. Well, I don't really have time for friends at the moment. Even if I did, I enjoy other things and am content without friends. I know to many people this sounds horrible, but I like doing things by myself. I love reading a good book or watching television or cooking in my kitchen, even though I don't really have the means to do much of it at the moment. I just find joy in doing things for me. I don't have to have others to validate me or to join in what I'm doing. I just like to be alone a lot of the time. At times being social is wonderful, but being the quiet person I am, a lot of the time when I'm with a group of people, I feel uncomfortable because I never really talk all that much. There must be something really wrong with me. I have come to that conclusion. Even though I'm weird, it makes me happy most of the time. Isn't that all that really matters?
I know I shouldn't complain, and it really isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, but sometimes I get kind of down about it. I guess it's just one of those after-effects from school. I get stressed out about school too often, but this time it's because I'm confused about assignments. I know that's because two of my classes are online this semester and you have to read everything extra carefully, because nobody is there to explain it to you if you have any questions. On top of school assignments, my work is having me move to teach the school age children at the child care center ao I have to prepare lessons for them every day. This adds on a whole lot of work for a job I only have about 10 hours a week. I guess I'm just really frusterated with life right now. Everything is stressing me out.
Jordan says that I need to find friends to spend time with. Well, I don't really have time for friends at the moment. Even if I did, I enjoy other things and am content without friends. I know to many people this sounds horrible, but I like doing things by myself. I love reading a good book or watching television or cooking in my kitchen, even though I don't really have the means to do much of it at the moment. I just find joy in doing things for me. I don't have to have others to validate me or to join in what I'm doing. I just like to be alone a lot of the time. At times being social is wonderful, but being the quiet person I am, a lot of the time when I'm with a group of people, I feel uncomfortable because I never really talk all that much. There must be something really wrong with me. I have come to that conclusion. Even though I'm weird, it makes me happy most of the time. Isn't that all that really matters?