[The feed clicks on just in time to catch a retreating arm whipping back under the covers. An annoying repetitive tone makes the object of the arm’s quest obvious a few seconds later, as the alarm clock was only momentarily subdued. There is a muttered curse before a second, freckled arm, reaches over the body of the first to expertly flick off the
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Mornin', Hidan--I guess something must've happened last night, I don't really remember... I hope you at least found somewhere else to sleep for the evening? I suppose this wasn't especially considerate of me, was it...
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Oh, gosh.]
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... wait... why the fuck am I talkin' ta you on the watch?
[After a quick check in 202's room, which is empty, he decides to check Kakuzu's room, which is not. He'll just let himself in, and keep talking like he didn't stop, kthnx.]
Anyways, I ain't blamin' you, I'm blamin' the lil blushy one, cause I asked him ta tell me if you two were gonna fuck so I could find somewhere else to sleep.
Oh, by the way, your tits look great today.
[That last bit may or may not have been to piss off Vash]
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[His remark got taken at face value, regardless of its actual intend, but she does at least manage to locate a shirt--her own, no less!--and pull it on before replying.]
Now, what's this about blame-laying? I mean, we... Don't even appear to be occupying my bed, so it's not as though you found yourself displaced, right?
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We don't... We didn't...
[Unless they did. And at least 202 has a shirt on now, it helps him not want to hurt Hidan for that last remark.]
...I mean, I don't really remember...
[Only he sort of does, and that's the problem.]
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It ain't the bed that's the problem, yanno, I don't like sleepin' alone. I even asked your boy toy ta warn me if you two were gonna bone, which, if I can remember what I heard through the walls, you two were fuckin' like rabbits.
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Warn you if... We... Wait, what?
[She doesn't look flustered, so much as just confused.]
Whose bones? Why would you hear bones? Are you feeling all right, Hidan?
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What are you talking about, Hidan? I don't rememb--
[Unless... That dream... Hell.]
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Ok kids, imma make this as easy ta understand as possible. You two fucked, boned, boffed, did the nasty, made the beast with two backs, knocked boots, he cleaned the pipes, you two were humpin', layin' cable, pokin' gettin' naughty with the nookie, tappin', shaftin', porkin'. You. Two. Had. Sex.
[To drive his point home he makes a fairly lewd gesture with his hands.]
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...Oh.
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...Hell.
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[He gives Vash a nice big smirk]
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The only virgin in the room is most assuredly not blushing... I think you're abusing our ignorance, Hidan, and making sport of the situation.
...Not that I can blame you, really, but still. I'm sure I'd remember something like that.
...Wouldn't I?
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Vash peeks out from between his fingers at 202.]
...You didn't happen to have a fairly-- lucid dream about... uh... what Hidan just said... did you, 202?
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Just means your little boyfriend is blushin' up a storm.
Here, I got sumthin' ta jog your memory~
[He tugs out his watch, fiddling with it before pressing a button. From his communicator comes the exact sounds he had been hearing through the wall for the past week.]
I think I remember taking this for blackmail purposes.
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