[Things are... oddly placant for the ex-Empire today. In the cooling aftermath (being stuck in that damn other end, quiet), he's standing outside, with a hot cup of tea that is beginning to cool far too much as it sits there. He's a bit lost to his own thoughts, and he seems to just... watch everything around him, from the places outside his room
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[He's not quite ready to look at her when he talks.]
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[[She'll give him some time.]]
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[And he still isn't at a conclusion, but this seems more the time for quiet apologies and friendliness.]
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A-ah... what have you heard?
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[His mind is swimming with thoughts of what she's to say, justifications, his own defense, how much did he tell her, all of it, more, lies, anything to get back, WHAT...] ... what... all did he say?
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You've lost your alliance with a world superpower.
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I was... I was hardly myself. You saw those... those things, coming out of the mirrors. Mine was...
... I wasn't thinking. It changed me, and I didn't come to my sense until it was done. I can hardly be blamed for... for what happened.
[Behind that, another pang of guilt, hurt... he was dropping the Alliance, what the hell did England expect, perhaps lots of other things, perhaps nothing, but... no, he didn't deserve this, he convinced himself, he didn't...]
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[[She knows she's being rough on him, but what else can she do? She doesn't particularly know how to be a head of state, but she knows she needs information.]]
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... it was what I was. [He tries to hide the awe in his voice, at seeing that thing.] The British Empire, before...
... it was... things inside of me...
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Your biggest fear is what you were during the British Empire? It was the height of your power, a time you should have been proud of!
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[He hesitates, a shame at what he's saying.]
I... I wanted to be that. It's... complicated. It was... the idea that everyone could see that in me... that... those close to me...
[There's fear in his eyes at that idea - not what he saw, but the idea of the follow-up. A double-edged sword...]
... but that... [That THING, that thing inside of him.] I feared what others would say, and I feared... what it would do if I wasn't what I should've been. I... I fed it, and that's my only fault, trying to do what I thought was best to keep it placant, to keep us BOTH content!
[Wild justifications, to hide the just as wild thrill of seeing himself that way again, the fear, his own cowardice.]
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