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officerofspade in rubycity_rp

[Action]

Jun 18, 2011 16:57

[Things are... oddly placant for the ex-Empire today. In the cooling aftermath (being stuck in that damn other end, quiet), he's standing outside, with a hot cup of tea that is beginning to cool far too much as it sits there. He's a bit lost to his own thoughts, and he seems to just... watch everything around him, from the places outside his room ( Read more... )

c: england, c: Elizabeθ Buckley, c: switzerland, england

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ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 00:03:24 UTC

[[Theta comes out to stand beside Arthur, quietly regarding him, not sure what to say to him.]]

officerofspade June 19 2011, 00:04:55 UTC

... it's rather nice out today, don't you think?

[He's not quite ready to look at her when he talks.]

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 00:36:08 UTC

Mm, it's lovely and clear.

[[She'll give him some time.]]

officerofspade June 19 2011, 01:43:03 UTC

... I apologize for holing myself away like that. I was... in an odd place, which I'm still passing through. I suppose recent events gave me some time to really... sit back and think.

[And he still isn't at a conclusion, but this seems more the time for quiet apologies and friendliness.]

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 09:38:55 UTC

You mean recent events between you and America?

officerofspade June 19 2011, 09:50:15 UTC

[It catches him decidedly off guard. His shoulders jerk, a hitch as he stiffens, dropping the cup in surprise. He's red with embarrassment - a little bit of panic? - as he ducks down at the very signal of tinkling, the cup breaking, scooping up the pieces.]

A-ah... what have you heard?

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 09:57:52 UTC

He and I had a bit of a long conversation. I am not pleased, Arthur.

officerofspade June 19 2011, 10:03:36 UTC

... I... I wouldn't expect you to be.

[His mind is swimming with thoughts of what she's to say, justifications, his own defense, how much did he tell her, all of it, more, lies, anything to get back, WHAT...] ... what... all did he say?

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 10:13:07 UTC

More than enough, Arthur. [[She figures she can bluff him into giving her the whole story.]]

You've lost your alliance with a world superpower.

officerofspade June 19 2011, 10:15:50 UTC

... I've what? [He's still swimming in shock, the defense will begin whenever he's past it.] Did... did Alfred... did you hear this from America?

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 10:21:05 UTC

I did. So I want to hear your side of it, and what you intend to do to salvage things.

officerofspade June 19 2011, 10:28:15 UTC

... [His side. Is he even qualified to give that.]

I was... I was hardly myself. You saw those... those things, coming out of the mirrors. Mine was...

... I wasn't thinking. It changed me, and I didn't come to my sense until it was done. I can hardly be blamed for... for what happened.

[Behind that, another pang of guilt, hurt... he was dropping the Alliance, what the hell did England expect, perhaps lots of other things, perhaps nothing, but... no, he didn't deserve this, he convinced himself, he didn't...]

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 10:31:17 UTC

Begin with what came out of the mirror, then. I heard it was a darker version of history?

[[She knows she's being rough on him, but what else can she do? She doesn't particularly know how to be a head of state, but she knows she needs information.]]

officerofspade June 19 2011, 10:33:13 UTC

... it was just... it was me. My reflection. But it was...

... it was what I was. [He tries to hide the awe in his voice, at seeing that thing.] The British Empire, before...

... it was... things inside of me...

ergaleomancer June 19 2011, 10:35:37 UTC

[[She looks a bit betrayed at that, and her expression falls somewhat.]]

Your biggest fear is what you were during the British Empire? It was the height of your power, a time you should have been proud of!

officerofspade June 19 2011, 10:42:31 UTC

And I was, Theta, I still am!

[He hesitates, a shame at what he's saying.]

I... I wanted to be that. It's... complicated. It was... the idea that everyone could see that in me... that... those close to me...

[There's fear in his eyes at that idea - not what he saw, but the idea of the follow-up. A double-edged sword...]

... but that... [That THING, that thing inside of him.] I feared what others would say, and I feared... what it would do if I wasn't what I should've been. I... I fed it, and that's my only fault, trying to do what I thought was best to keep it placant, to keep us BOTH content!

[Wild justifications, to hide the just as wild thrill of seeing himself that way again, the fear, his own cowardice.]

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